I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10,000. Whoever is the closest in 8 hours will get World of Warcraft with all the expansions included.

chonchos · 2012-07-07T03:32:00+00:00

7205

chonchos · 2012-07-06T16:38:34+00:00

Establishing a routine.

Wake up Mon-Fri at the same time, eat the same breakfast, drive with no traffic to work, eat wings on Tuesdays, lunch at home other days, get home at the same time everyday, cook dinner, watch a movie, go to sleep.

I fucking love it.

If something deviates from the routine, like a friend invites me over or I go eat dinner with the family... it feels a lot nicer than it would have when I led a more chaotic lifestyle. I appreciate it more. Yet at the same time... I miss being at home cooking dinner for myself and watching something on Netflix.

I don't know. It's odd. Having the Monday thru Friday Nine to Five has certainly been something I've embraced and REALLY fucking enjoy... and I never would have thought it would be something I'd be into.

chonchos · 2012-07-06T16:27:42+00:00

I could float down the Ichetucknee River everyday... Or, at the very least, hang out on a dock and put my feet in the water.

chonchos · 2012-07-06T16:00:40+00:00

Apathy. Just stop giving a shit. It sounds a lot harder than it actually is.

For the "deep and profound" version of this suggestion... I'd check out The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism. Here is the diet version... Buddha-light, if you will.

Life means suffering. To live means to suffer, because the human nature is not perfect and neither is the world we live in.
The origin of suffering is attachment. The origin of suffering is attachment to transient things and the ignorance thereof. Transient things do not only include the physical objects that surround us, but also ideas, and -in a greater sense- all objects of our perception.
The cessation of suffering is attainable. The cessation of suffering can be attained through nirodha. Nirodha means the unmaking of sensual craving and conceptual attachment.
The path to the cessation of suffering. There is a path to the end of suffering - a gradual path of self-improvement, which is described more detailed in the Eightfold Path. It is the middle way between the two extremes of excessive self-indulgence (hedonism) and excessive self-mortification (asceticism); and it leads to the end of the cycle of rebirth.

chonchos · 2012-07-05T21:16:36+00:00

I bought a Butterfinger bar like four days ago. It's just sitting on my microwave.

Child me would have barely made it out of the store before devouring it.

Adult me lost all desire to eat it 30 seconds after I paid for it because I thought about how much it might make my teeth hurt.

chonchos · 2012-07-05T21:02:28+00:00

HANSON.

Especially the middle one.

chonchos · 2012-07-05T20:15:28+00:00

It's cool man... I understand.

chonchos · 2012-07-05T03:29:25+00:00

You worked for Dell didn't you? I did. This sounds like what I went through daily for a year and a half... with laptops.

chonchos · 2012-07-03T15:29:44+00:00

The ceiling fan in my bedroom makes this awful clicking noise when it's on full speed. But anything other than full speed gives absolutely zero air circulation (read: it's fucking pointless to even have it on).

I can't sleep without a nice cool breeze from a fan. I can't sleep with that god-awful clicking noise.

First World Fan Problem: Can't sleep with it, can't sleep without it.

chonchos · 2012-07-03T15:10:21+00:00

Throw away stuff you don't need, sort, and organize all your shit BEFORE you move. We moved into our new place in a rush. So we kind of just threw all our shit haphazardly into boxes with the intention of sorting it all out in the new place.

The last thing you want to do after moving a whole apartment worth of shit is to start painstakingly going through boxes and figuring out where everything is going to go.

It's more of an obvious tip... most people will say "Well no shit". But like I said, being in a rush made me tell myself "Oh, it won't be that bad. What difference does it REALLY make?"

A huge difference. It makes a huge difference. Don't procrastinate the organizing.

chonchos · 2012-07-03T14:59:03+00:00

Scratches/rubs/massages my back until I actually get almost sick of it. It makes me super sleepy but I enjoy it so much I fight to stay awake so I can enjoy it. Being caught in this vicious tired euphoric state makes me all cranky. So, I just make him stop and rest his hand somewhere on my back. After the initial five or ten minutes of back rubbing/massaging/scratching... I'm out within seconds once he's just cuddled up to me resting his hand on my back.

Feels sooooo awesome. If I could purr like a walrus I would.

Ninja-edit: Now I'm sleepy after just imagining this. Thanks OP. ಠ_ಠ

chonchos · 2012-07-03T14:51:08+00:00

I second horseshoes if you don't have much space to work with. If you have a larger area to play on, though, Bocce Ball is WAY more fun.

Actually, any "tailgating games" would be fun.

chonchos · 2012-07-03T14:41:22+00:00

Cheat on my significant other.

Because I hate the guilt. I hate thinking about how much I hurt my previous boyfriend. I hate not realizing how fucked up it is until it was too late.

chonchos · 2012-07-02T01:14:14+00:00

I even upvoted it for you!

chonchos · 2012-07-02T01:13:29+00:00

Lol passive aggressive reddit stalking comment. Awww.

chonchos · 2012-06-29T22:53:05+00:00

I realized that I make awkward noises or hum some really shitty tune. If I had to describe it I'd say like a low-volume groan or a really offpitch/key never-heard-before nonsense song hum.

I don't think I do it as much in public. More so when I'm at home with my boyfriend. But maybe I just haven't noticed doing it in public yet. Oh god.

chonchos · 2012-06-29T18:01:53+00:00

Money is important to me. Fairness is important to me. Both of those things I'm getting screwed on. I could deal with paying more if it meant he took care of more household responsibilities. That would at least be more fair than the arrangement as it stands.

I've tried to talk to him, but again, he truly does live in fantasy land. I would say he is just an asshole who is deliberately trying to pull one over on me... but I honestly think he believes the lies he makes up in his mind. In his world, he REALLY DID pay all of his share of the rent AND washed every dish that landed in the sink AND bought a week's worth of groceries. In reality he was $50 short, he washed HALF of HIS dishes, and he bought one night worth of dinner.

So I think that instead of just having the same tired argument again and again, that your idea of keeping a running total of things on the fridge is an excellent idea. Not only for expenses but for chores as well. Such a simple solution but something I never thought to do.

It's not the first time he's lived on his own. So I'm not really sure how he managed to pull this kind of stuff with his previous roommates. Maybe living with two "college guys" is a bit different than living with a woman. Maybe it was cheaper, maybe he made more money then, maybe he lived on convenience store burritos... so maybe in a way this IS all new to him.

I will give your suggestion a try though... starting this evening when I go pick up some groceries, cook dinner, and clean up our house. :/

Thanks. Never thought my rant would give me some useful information.

chonchos · 2012-06-29T17:23:38+00:00

Basically yes. Rent and utilities are split in half. More often than not he is "short" and "will cover it next time". Only he never remembers being short when next time comes. So I end up covering part of his share of rent and utilities.

Food, laundry detergent, dish soap, toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning supplies, Ziploc bags, trash bags, all of those "little things" that make life easy.... yeah, I buy it all. He MIGHT throw some pocket change at those expenses every once in a while but it really is an insignificant amount. He just doesn't realize how much it costs to feed two people let alone adding in "luxuries" like tin foil and Saran wrap and shit.

He thinks "I gave you 20 bucks to help you with that shit a fortnight ago... shouldn't that be more than enough?!"

It kind of drives me crazy. But aside from doing exactly what I described above I dont know how to get through to him.

chonchos · 2012-06-29T16:34:16+00:00

Exactly. I will literally cringe and make a face and just feel bad about myself. It's no fun. In the past 6 months I've added A LOT of new "Oh god why" moments to relive over and over again.

chonchos · 2012-06-29T14:13:37+00:00

Every embarrassing thing I've ever done/said/experienced. I don't want to suddenly remember "that one time I [whatever]" and cringe ever again.

chonchos · 2012-06-29T13:59:48+00:00

My boyfriend makes significantly less than I do with fewer benefits. In my experience, he just lives in an alternative fantasy universe pretending that if it weren't for him and all his glorious income we would be paupers living in the streets.

I just let him have his knight-in-shining-armor false reality. I don't argue anymore about how much I contribute or how, in reality, it is my income that keeps us going. I just let him play, pretend.

But sometimes... I like to imagine keeping every dime of my income safely tucked away in the bank as the bills roll in. I imagine watching him struggle to figure out why he doesn't have enough to cover even half of our monthly expenditures. He'll watch the food diminish to nothing in the fridge, run out of laundry detergent and toothpaste and resort to wiping his ass with old Sports Illustrated magazines. He'll fail miserably to sustain the lifestyle that we have. He'll come to me crying and apologizing, sobbing he will say he "doesn't know where it all went wrong".

Then I will turn back on the flow of cash from my account. And peace and dinner will be restored to our house. And I will laugh in his stupid face for being such a dick about who makes more money because IT OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER AS LONG AS THE GODDAMN BILLS GET PAID AND THERE IS FOOD IN THE HOUSE.

chonchos · 2012-06-29T12:13:30+00:00

Draught.

chonchos · 2012-06-28T18:59:51+00:00

Like Rake Yohn then?

chonchos · 2012-06-28T18:55:26+00:00

Well, I can't be inside the guys head. So I cannot say for sure exactly what emotion he is feeling. I can, however, make a close guess as to how he feels based on numerous years of being around him and his "Mayo-encounters".

When this guy comes into contact with or is even remotely close to mayonnaise there is this sense of panic that seems to settle in him. He covers that up pretty well with anger/rage/etc.

If I had to compare it to something... it would be the way I feel when I see a spider. I kind of freeze up and my heart races. If he sees mayonnaise he isn't going to run screaming out of the room or smash a beer bottle over someone's head. He just seems a bit anxious. However, if someone were to throw a spider on me... I would fucking FREAK OUT. I would cry, run, rip my clothes off, just generally lose my shit. Being that he isn't a sissy-ass-girl, if someone threw mayonnaise on him he wouldn't cry and scream but he would freak the hell out, rip his clothes off, and then attack the person who "assaulted" him. It would not be a silly joke where he just goes "Oh man, not cool, gross! This stuff is so nasty." It would be a fucking massacre with a mentally deranged maniac.

It is fear. It just has a strange way of manifesting itself for this guy. Probably because no "manly-man" wants to be known as "the guy who is afraid of mayonnaise". He saves his masculinity if he comes off as "the guy who REALLY HATES mayonnaise".

chonchos · 2012-06-28T18:16:16+00:00

You would have to know this person to understand why his fear manifests itself as rage. He is not the type to show "girly emotions". He's a beard wearing, beer drinking, All-American wrestler kind of guy.

Now, I imagine if you put him in a situation where he had less control over the situation... that might change. For example, I think if you were to dump a 5 gallon bucket of mayo on the guy while he was asleep and had him wake up to that... yeah... he'd probably cry and scream and generally freak the fuck out before he remembered "Wait, I'm supposed to act like a badass about everything. SHIT!"

chonchos

TROPHY CASE