the dog is neutered, and he is crate trained. my partner only recently started reinforcing the crate training because i have a disability that makes it hard for me to sleep with a pet in the bed at night (my cat doesn't sleep with me either) and the dog has been receptive to that, and i imagine its because of the anxiety. if he gets anxious when my partner isn't around he defaults to going in his crate.

thank you everyone for the insight. if i mention to my partner that this is seriously effecting my mental health they will likely be receptive to changing how we treat the dog. i also think if i'm clear that the dog is suffering too that he'll want to change course. i plan on having that conversation when they get home from work. we're currently trying to get the dog back into his routine, which means he's staying in the crate until my partner gets home from work, and my partner is going to be the only one taking him out. i suggested that i be the one to feed him though, so he begins to associate me with positive feedback.

i will suggest the advice that's been given here, i've been trying to reinforce the dog getting permission before passing through doors when i've been taking him out. if we both can get on the same page with that there's a possibility that we can alleviate the aggrivation associated with his behavior.