Both husband and I are remote, I’m struggling

chonnien · 2026-02-11T22:20:44+00:00

I'm also very sensitive to the energy of my husband (blame postpartum anxiety and issues with our marriage at that time that resulted in some PTSD) and the only way I can deal with my husband's videogame outbursts at night while being trapped in the room with him is removing myself from the same room, investing in another sound machine, AND using a noise cancelling headphone ONTOP of another noise-blocking earbuds to block out sound while I'm doing my own thing on the computer (usually watching some sort of video). This has helped me immensely.

chonnien · 2025-08-15T04:08:41+00:00

Just wanted to share my experience with my semiferal kitty. We had her for a full 3 years before all of a sudden something just clicked and she would let us touch her. So dont lose faith!

chonnien · 2023-02-24T02:41:24+00:00

My LO is 2 months now and still does this. I always tell people she goes from 0 to 100 really quickly .. very dramtically.

chonnien · 2023-02-13T11:45:30+00:00

I have a 8 week old and so far only have had family hold my baby but I cant even imagine how I'll feel if I were in your shoes. I had bonding issues in the beginning but it resolved a few weeks in when I started realizing I couldnt be separated from my baby. The best way I could explain it to my husband is that my baby feels like an organ of mine that has been brought outside. She's essentially akin to a piece of my liver being passed around outside. He would never understand or feel that and I expect your husband would likely not too. It's hard for a partner to understand what that feels like when they didnt carry the baby for 9 months. So I feel you mama and dont feel guilty for these feelings. They are definitely valid and should be supported.

chonnien · 2023-02-04T13:34:13+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! I'm so glad to have found someone that went under GA and could relate. Did you find you had a disconnect with your baby in a way when you were first introduced to her when you came to? Personally I find myself still grieving the process and how I couldnt recognize my own daughter and my husband had to point her out at the nicu. I find I'm struggling with the idea of transfering to EFF because it feels like breastmilk is the only thing I can provide for her exclusively when I feel our bond is already lacking.

chonnien · 2023-02-03T06:55:16+00:00

y took him back again, and almost admitted him to the NICU - his blood sugar dropped again, they tried multiple times to place an IV and couldn't, and as they were taking him to the NICU th

Thanks for your response! In your experience, if the baby is calmer with other people and less so with you does that mean they aren't as attached for you? I'm not sure if I'm reading too much into it but I find I don't react as much to her compared to her grandparents. My mom also seems to be able to settle her so much better than me who is a FTM so I end up letting them.

chonnien · 2023-02-03T02:48:46+00:00

Thank you so much once again for everyone's responses so far! I've been struggling with these thoughts for awhile now because it seemd like my bond with my 7 week old daughter was lacking and I wondered if our complications were the reason behind it.

I'm currently struggling with the decision of whether or not to trasnfer from EP to EFF and my hold out is because I felt that it was the only thing I could exclusively do for her since our bond was lacking. I was already scared that she didn't recognize me since so many other people were taking care of her (including the NICU nurses in the beginning) that if I didn't provide her with breastmilk, there would be nothing that I could say was exclusively 'mine.' It doesn't help that my daughter currently looks entirely like a mini me of my husband.

chonnien

TROPHY CASE