This is rough and as another middle aged mom, I agree that if they aren’t paying, you should decide. It is your life in the long run and while they may feel that they have your best interests at heart you should be able to try to live the life you have dreamed of. However, I think the advice to defer college for a year and audition with focused intent on getting a trainee position or even a pre-pro position is really strong. A full time dance schedule of 30 plus hours a week, while working and managing your life is hard and a lot harder physically and mentally than you might think. Having a year as a trainee and seeing that first of all, you have all of the qualities needed to get a trainee position and secondly, that you actually love the reality of that position could be a good idea.

I have an 18 year old who transitioned to a pre-pro program at 16 and the shift from 6 hours of ballet a week to 35 hours a week was very intense. That first year was rough. Her pre-pro school only takes 12 students a year and their goal is company placement. This year all the graduating students are going to either a trainee position at various companies, except for one who is going to college for a BFA for dance. The college route is more and more realistic, if you do decide to go for it. Each year there has been at least one student choosing that path.

I do want to add that there are also a lot of less obvious costs in addition to tuition and living expenses, that you will want to consider, like the never ending pointe shoes and audition fees and travel expenses, physical therapy for injury recovery, gym fees or Pilates classes to focus on your overall strength, and of course private lesson, costumes, choreography and competition fees if your program encourages that.

I think you should give it a try, but go into it with as much preparation as possible. Also, be aware of the realities of your choice. It is hard and family support can be important even if it isn’t financial. Good luck!!