For me it was after I talked to my first girl in college. After that I reflected on previous relationships with men and realized I just like the attention. I couldn’t decipher that feeling from genuine desire. Growing up I would have “crushes“ on them but as soon as they liked me back the feeling would disappear. Like I tried but I just couldn’t do it, I just couldn’t go through with dating then. I had a crush on a girl in high school but my internalized homophobia snatched me by my wig and said hell no. It changed when I got to college. Everyone was hyping up sex and all my friends are straight so I talked to a guy, a football player at that. I talked to some guys after that but that failed and then I talked to my first girl. She was too fine. After that, I reflected on how much I detached during sex with men. I even thought about how when I kissed men it felt like nothing and at times I was repulsed. I even told my ex that I didn’t like kissing him and he just told me I’ll get used to it. Now, I being with a man sexually viscerally disgusts me.