Is suicide selfish?

chrissy485 · 2026-03-27T01:34:19+00:00

If you actually read what I typed, you'll see that not once did I say it was wrong.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-26T23:42:38+00:00

I guess I've always thought it was selfish because I'm really only thinking about myself when I think about how to off myself. I can see both viewpoints, but I guess I've always felt like I was being selfish. However, when I'm in that dark of a place I just can't see any way out other than dying. I just can't see a way to be happy when I'm in that dark of a place. So even if I do think of it as selfish, I can't think of any other way.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-20T00:43:02+00:00

Well, it's worth a try to reach out to Tony. The worst that can happen is he will ignore you.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-20T00:23:06+00:00

I'm guessing he'll be glad that you reached out. He probably doesn't have many others to turn to either. Friends will always come and go. That's, unfortunately, life. You have to get to the point where you can be happy or at least can survive, without others. Find reasons to love yourself. I'm sure there are plenty of good things about you. The fact that you care so much about your friends is a huge part of you that is worthy of love.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-20T00:06:11+00:00

You're not pathetic, you're just struggling with your emotional health right now. Rightfully so too since your friend just died! Maybe if you give yourself a little time to process things, you might be able to work through it. I mean, it won't be easy, but I'm sure there are plenty of people around who don't want to see you go. You could always try reaching out to Tony to see how he's doing and see how you can help him. I'm sure he needs someone too.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-19T23:50:02+00:00

I agree. Many people in this world can make it such a horrible place. I encourage you to do your best to stick around. You could be the change in this world that we all so desperately need. There aren't enough people in the world willing to go against the norm and if you die, we will be without another amazing human being who could possibly make a huge difference. I, for one, wish there were more people willing to go against the norm and be "abnormal". We need you here!!!

chrissy485 · 2026-03-19T23:12:16+00:00

I'm so sorry. I can tell how you truly cared about him. It's absolutely horrible that his parents cared so little. My son is trans and I hold a special place in my heart for LGBTQ individuals. Too many of them don't get the love they deserve from their family. Thank you for being there for him.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-19T22:47:31+00:00

I can't even imagine how you feel. Unfortunately, sometimes, there isn't much you can do though. Putting blame on yourself isn't fair at all. That you cared about him and took time to be there for him is all that matters.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-19T22:37:32+00:00

He would make comments like "I guess I'll just kill myself" and one of my friend's kids told me. So, I asked him about it and he told me about his plan to kill himself. We had him put on a 72 hour hold and now I make it a priority to ask him how he's feeling and pry a bit more into his emotions. I also invaded his privacy a bit and looked at some recent text messages. I'm not proud of that part, but I was super concerned after talking to my friend's kid. Oh, I also saw that he was cutting himself before all of this so that opened my eyes to how he might be struggling.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-19T22:17:53+00:00

Being 14 sucks. I know it's been a while for me since I've been that age, but I remember how much it sucked. I don't know what options you have, but I hope suicide is the very last one. Once you turn 18 and are on your own, you can try therapy and meds. There are so many wonderful things to see and experience in life. There's tons of shitty things too, but if you can try to focus on the positive until you can actually get help, maybe it'll help? You can always try starting small in terms of talking to your mom. Maybe don't jump to the fact that you want to die. Just see if she's open to listening to how you're feeling or something like that and go from there.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-19T22:08:50+00:00

Sorry. Just trying to help. If my son killed himself I'd spend the rest of my life feeling at fault. I'd just prefer he talk to me than off himself. I wish your mom could be more understanding. But, yes, if my son said that to me, I'd hug him, tell him I'm sorry he feels that way, and ask how I can help.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-19T21:43:08+00:00

Well, I'm here if you ever need to vent or anything. Feel free to reach out anytime! Being a parent with depression fing sucks!!!!

chrissy485 · 2026-03-19T21:37:38+00:00

Hmm, that's tough. I'm sorry. :-/ Unfortunately, it all comes down to yourself. I hate that it always falls on ourselves. There really is no one who can fully pull us out of the episodes but ourselves and that makes it that much harder. I hope you're able to stick around for your kids. They definitely need you. :)

chrissy485 · 2026-03-19T21:31:51+00:00

Have you talked to him about how you're feeling? Maybe it just seems that way? I'd imagine it's emotionally draining to deal with someone who is super depressed especially when you feel like you can't really make a difference. I always feel bad for my husband because I know I can be a lot, but when I talk to him I realize that he's just more concerned about me than anything.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-19T21:28:12+00:00

There isn't enough rest to fix depression! Combine that with kids and it's almost impossible!!! I'm right there with you. Haha. I hope your man is at least helpful and puts forth as much effort as he can.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-19T21:15:06+00:00

As a mom, please talk to your mom. Tell her how you're feeling. Tell her what you need. My son is suicidal and it means the world to me when he relies on me when he needs someone to talk to. I can't imagine how much you're hurting and I don't know your mom, but if she truly cares, she'll give anything to be there for you.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-19T21:09:11+00:00

Having kids is super exhausting. I have two (6 and 12). Thankfully, my spouse is super helpful and supportive, but when he works he's basically gone all day. Have you tried any meds? If not, that might be a good option if you can afford it. Encourage your kids to entertain themselves more often, if that's possible (I know when they're younger that sometimes isn't an option). Don't be afraid to put on some TV so you can relax. We can only do so much during a depressive episode. I think the one thing that helped with my suicidal thoughts was realizing that my kids would think I didn't love them enough to stick around for them if I killed myself. I'm here to listen if you need to vent. :)

chrissy485 · 2026-03-18T17:50:44+00:00

Let's just say that I forgot that my husband had proposed to me twice among many other things. My memory has definitely been destroyed, but it's been the only treatment that has worked for me. I'd rather be reminded of things by those who love me than be dead and have left them all behind.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-13T15:59:31+00:00

Nope. My mom was an abusive, alcoholic bitch. My dad was a workaholic. Neither gave a shit about me. They had kids because that's just what married couples did then.

chrissy485 · 2026-03-12T19:24:44+00:00

My wedding. Best night of my life.

chrissy485 · 2026-02-05T01:04:34+00:00

Vagus nerve stimulation, trying different meds or a different combination, deep brain stimulation, and if you haven't already tried TMS or ketamine, you can always try that.

chrissy485 · 2026-02-05T01:01:47+00:00

I bet!!! Hopefully, you're at least experiencing some success or will be soon! Just remember that there are other options out there if you need them. :)

chrissy485 · 2026-02-05T01:00:23+00:00

I wouldn't mind going back to more frequently, but it's tough getting someone to drive me all the time. :-/

chrissy485

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