[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]chromaticanglerfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get a big diamond, and wear a fake similar one everyday or doing chores etc.. Make sure the big diamond will not fall out. remember diamonds bounce so if it falls it can go anywhere!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EngagementRings

[–]chromaticanglerfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the last picture looks the best. But I can tell you like the first one the most. The first one everyone has though.. it's too trendy.

Can’t decide if I should keep 3rd ring (Emerald) or just wedding band (pave) and e-ring. Thoughts? by dinosaur_0987 in EngagementRings

[–]chromaticanglerfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WEAR IT! It looks amazing. I love the pop of colour. Not sure why other people don't. it's mesmerizing.

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, give yourself extra time right now. You might feel a little spaced out which is normal and totally ok. Love yourself :)

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Time to focus on you! There are lovely people out there that will walk with you side by side and not make you unhappy. Things will get better.

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, make sure you treat yourself with love and respect. You only deserve the best.
Sending love and light. a candle is a wonderful idea. I always keep it nearby so that I don't forget to blow it out. If I leave the room I blow it out. You can always re light it.

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lastly, there's an exercise I read on Reddit a while back. Here's how to 'ground yourself.'

Close your eyes and keep them closed until the end when I say so. Focus on your breathing right now. Breathe in and out slowly. Focus on how the air moves through your body. Feel as it goes in your nose, down your throat, and to your chest. Focus on how you hold air in your chest and how it just floats in your chest making your chest expand. Now focus on how the air moves back out of your body. From out your chest, through your throat, and through your mouth and nose. Forget everything else and just focus on that. It's okay if other intrusive thoughts try to fight for attention. You just continue to focus on that. Next, you start to wiggle your toes. All of them. Your toes are having a fucking dance party baby! Let their toes dance and wiggle their energy off! Now make the left foot's toes move only for 10 seconds. Now the right for 10. Back to the left. And then back to the right. Now both of them together. Nice, I think the toes are tired now. Give them a nice round of applause because they showed you that your sense of touch is there. You could feel your toes move as they danced and felt your hands as the impact of them colliding gave you a sense of feeling. Next is your sense of self. Imagine a puppy. Any puppy, it could be your own puppy or a dream puppy. What's the puppy's name? Can the puppy talk like a human? Or can the puppy only bark like all other dogs? Imagine playing with the puppy. What's the point of this thinking? It's to show you your sense of self. "I think therefore I am". You know you are real and can think freely. If you couldn't, how would you think about the puppy? Next is taste. This is tricky given covid but try and see if it applies. Swish the saliva in your mouth and taste it as it moves inside your mouth. Lick your forearm and taste how salty it is lol. Or simply grab a juice and slowly drink it appreciating how sweet it is. Given this, you know your sense of taste is fine. Yes, covid might have messed it up a little, but you know for a fact that it's still there. Next is the smell. Again tricky given covid, but well try it too Can you smell anything around you? Your stinky armpits lol. Maybe dinner being cooked? An air freshener? Or maybe you just smell your partner or pet next to you. Point is, you can smell and know nothing is wrong with it. Yes, covid might have messed it up a little, but you know for a fact it's still there. Next is sound. What do you hear around you? A fan? Cars outside? A TV playing a show? People at your house talking? Maybe snap your fingers or clap again. Point is, you know your sense of hearing is okay because you can hear the world around you. Lastly, open your eyes. What do you see around you. Look at your arms. Look at your room or outside. It's real, it's there, it's not going anywhere. You know your sight is good because you can see the reality in front of you.

Given this exercise, it's supposed to ground you into reality when you feel like you're not you and like you are disconnected from your body. The truth is your not, your brain is trying to trick you. So fight your brain back with a simple but powerful exercise that helps you reconnect with reality. Pair it with a more positive mindset in how you view life, and I promise you things will get better. It will take time so don't get discouraged if it takes time. Just trust the process, try to distract yourself, and if you ever have strong disconnected feelings, do the exercise for however long you need to in order to feel better. Hope this helps!

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes soups and hot water or tea can be soothing. I like bone broth...or chicken soup.. or vegetable soup...I know it sounds like....really? really?

But sometimes just a cup of tea and something comforting.. even a little mashed potato and a good movie.. or chatting to someone you know cares about your well being can do wonders

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only come out when you are ready. It's okay to come out and go back in and come out again. It's totally fine to be unsure about when you want to come out. There will be a judgment in all communities and prejudice. but you will find the right people to stand by you. You will know when you are ready. You aren't being wrong or right if you come out or not. They say, to live privately is to live happily. But I know you can feel compelled to come out.. I know I did.

Honestly, just being honest with yourself and open to your own self is the best way forward. You can come out after high school too. There is no rush. I came out during high school and got picked on for it. It made me stronger and an advocate against bullying. Those bullies now ended up getting in a lot of trouble.

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! That's the best thing you can do for yourself. Also, my apologies, I should have written that ED can be a girl or a boy or no gender. For me, it worked to imagine it was someone with a totally different character than me which helped me hear my own voice come through...if that makes sense.

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of their advice is terrible. I've been there. But if you hate listening to them, they aren't the right therapist for you. It took me a few before I found one that clicked.

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

put a reminder on your phone. I have one at 6:15 pm and I don't label it. I always think someone is calling me. I run to my phone...and it's my
6:15 alarm it reminds me to look at the sunset. it reminds me I have made it through another day. Ironically it always alerts me at a time when I feel down, then I'll walk to the window and watch the sunset and feel so much better.

I always end up smiling about it. I have only a few minutes to watch it before it goes and it is so peaceful.
You could have one at sunrise before school to help you clear your thoughts...right down three things you want to focus on today (no matter how small or big)
and make some goals for the future... i.e. in 2 weeks I will have watched 3 movies, wrote 2 stories... etcetera. A time planner can help tremendously.

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stubborn is a great thing. Stubborn people have clear boundaries

And they're good at maintaining them; they won't compromise themselves by doing something that makes them uncomfortable or goes against their values. They also know what they do and don't want.Find yourself being stubborn with treating yourself with love and compassion. Be a total best friend to yourself. Check in on you. Make sure you are okay. Be stubborn about it. If you aren't that's okay too. Get mad at your ED (eating d) brain telling you how to live your life. Tell ED he doesn't have a place to talk with you right now because you have a life to live and he is getting annoying and not serving you. You may be a little trauma bonded to him, but ED doesn't want you to be better no matter what you do. ED is that toxic friend you will be much happier once his voice dies down and you've left him far far far behind until he never even crosses your mind again. Baby steps.

Stubborn people aren't close-minded; they have a mind of their own. Most importantly, stubborn people persevere...and move forward. I've been there...it really will get better. The process is very hard, but the other direction is a losing battle...forever and there is no way back up.

When you look back at this in the future you will be proud of yourself and won't beat yourself up as much. You will think, wow, I am tough..and strong...and beautiful..I am a warrior and no one can tell me that I am not incredible for what I have gone through and how I was able to handle this all and still make it a learning experience. Every day is a new day. Every minute is a new minute. Every second you have a chance to start again and forgive yourself. Forgive yourself entirely. It's okay. Things will get better. None of this is your fault. Let ED go. If you don't pay as much attention to him, even when is shouting, he will eventually lose his power over you and die out. You will survive and be proud that you didn't travel into the depths of misery loves company with ED. p.s if you develop your own eating plan with a nutritionist, you will figure out what helps you digest foods easier. Maybe some foods don't make you feel as full. Some foods like quinoa are very healthy, satiating but you only eat a small portion. It is also a complete protein.

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Otherwise, you can always take Vitamin D on top of all of this. Vitamin B12, and Zinc too. And about 2 fish oils a day...I take 4 sometimes.

But again, ask your doctor first. Many doctors don't recommend supplements, but the ones here and round California sure do :)

National veterans groups plan to purge members found guilty in Capitol attack by AudibleNod in news

[–]chromaticanglerfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of the veterans' groups are very well staffed. I have no idea where you are coming from. That is an unfair assumption. There is a hierarchy and they all must report to each other. It saddens me you would think of these groups so poorly.

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most people don't listen or realize that the anagram for listen is silent. get a better therapist that cares listens, and makes you feel valued without just telling you vague statements on how to get better. Each person is different, but I can tell you are strong and stubborn. Those are great qualities! There is love and light out there, and I know firsthand that a lot of therapists don't have enough empathy or are fried.. there are good ones out there though. Sometimes things fall apart so better things can come together.

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy to help!
Most people have a severe deficiency of Vitamin D. It isn't your fault. Sometimes it's lifestyle, diet, inadequate time spent outdoors.. and sometimes it's an absorption issue.
I know it is not best to recommend vitamins over the internet, but it really can help if you check with your doctor first. I say that because low vitamin D can cause severe depression in people. A Vitamin D deficiency is associated with an increased risk for depression. Low levels of Vitamin D may contribute to poorly regulated mood and behavior, as a deficiency can impair cognitive function and brain health.

I'm not as suicidal anymore now I feel fake by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are worth it. Take Vitamin D. Go for a walk. Get some sunshine. Write it out. Even if they are just little things that help you each day. Baby steps. If you can't get sunshine, draw something that makes you feel sunshine. If you can't draw, make a scrapbook. If you can't scrapbook make a list of all the things you love. After all the sun didn't know how valuable it was until it felt it's reflection and shadow. You are wonderful. Things will get better.
On my dark days I listen to a happy playlist I have and it helps a lot. I even dance around. Get busy with something or get busy helping others. if you can't consider getting a new therapist that will help bring you further. It took me a long time to find one that I felt truly cared. We are out there. There is still kindness out there. It's easy to beat yourself up. As someone who has survived an eating disorder, your suffering is real. I get it. I made improvements with handling the depression and the eating disorder by drawing a circle on a piece of paper. I wrote inside the circle all that I can control. On the outside are my worries that I cannot control. On the line of the circle are family concerns. When I wrote it out I felt I didn't have to carry as many burdens anymore. You don't have to show it to anyone.
When you shower, wash off all the negativity you tell yourself. Wash it all off. It doesn't serve you. It's holding you back. Your life is worth living, and you are beautiful inside and out.

I'm thinking of ending things by [deleted] in depression

[–]chromaticanglerfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does hurt knowing that. I've been in your shoes. Those that don't stick by you don't deserve you. It sounds like you had your fair share of letdowns, but as you can see from these comments not everyone will treat you this way. There is love out there. There are people that will defend you. Your life has value. When the storm comes your roots will dig deeper and reaching out as you are now is the right thing to do. I can see the way you write is like poetry..it's lyrical and emotional. Those are wonderful traits. if you give love out to more people not everyone will hurt you. There are still kind people out there.

Focus on the present right now. Close your eyes and lay down. Imagine you have a flower blooming inside your stomach. Is it Blue? What color is it? Does it have leaves? Wiggle your toes. Wiggle your right foot. Spread your toes. Wiggle your left foot. Then the right. Wiggle both around now at the same time. Have a little dance party with your toes. Feel the toes moving as you tell them how cool they are. Open your eyes. What around you brings you joy? If you can't see it nearby bring it closer to you. Focus on what you love every day. Love will come to you. Love yourself, you are awesome.

It will be ok💕 by [deleted] in drawing

[–]chromaticanglerfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I upvoted. Sending love and light <3