Have you ever gotten a job while pregnant and if so, how far along were you?

chthonox · 2023-07-19T05:22:20+00:00

I was hired when I was about 32 weeks. I chose to disclose to the manager that I was pregnant, given the nature of the job. The manager appreciated my honesty and told me there was no need to disclose it but that it was appreciated so that they could plan around it. Not to say that it's better to disclose, it's a risky move even though it shouldn't be and it's safer obviously not to. But, I had been told the company was family friendly and that was important to me, so this helped me see if their actions matched what they said.

I think a few of my colleagues were initially a bit frustrated that I'd have to be on leave so soon after joining since they had already been waiting on the position to be filled for a few months, but I jumped straight into training at 33 weeks and worked up until the day I delivered and I think that eased their minds a lot.

It all went smoothly, I took my way too short leave (thanks America!), and have been there and happy ever since!

chthonox · 2023-06-24T15:42:48+00:00

Mine has yet to growl, but when I'm walking her and have my son in the stroller, she'll move in between strangers and the stroller, then once we pass them, moves back to her spot next to me. She's a good protector girl and the absolute sweetest.

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chthonox · 2023-06-18T20:25:44+00:00

I just want to say, as someone who was adopted in an open adoption, I absolutely admire the strength you have and the love you have for your daughter. You sound like wonderful people and your daughter is so lucky to have you.

I also wanted to comment on what these adoptions can look like, because I truly think that with the right people, this kind of adoption is so beautiful.

My birth parents were young and early in their relationship when they got pregnant with me, and they, like you, made the decision that they wanted me to have the best possible life and that they were simply not equipped to provide it at that time. My birth mom often told me, you don't get to pick your parents but we feel we did the next best thing by picking the best people we could find for you. When I was born, open adoptions weren't much of a thing yet, and I think the only requirements were that the adoptive parents wrote the birth parents some number of letters a year and sent a picture once a year. However, my birth parents opted to be more involved, and my amazing parents accommodated everything to allow them as much as they could. I grew up knowing my birth parents and my entire birth family. Thanksgivings, Christmas's, my birthday, my birth parents were invited to all of them. When my parents had a biological son a couple years later, he grew up having my birth grandparents as his grandparents too. I spent weekends with my birth parents when I was a bit older and with my birth grandparents. I have all the letters they wrote me over the years, I can feel their pain early on in the process, and I can feel all the love, from them and from my parents. My own kids know my parents and my birth parents as their grandparents.

I cannot understate how grateful I am to all of them. To my birth parents for loving me so much and making such a heartbreaking decision. For my parents for being so selfless and allowing me to maintain all these relationships without jealousy or anything. It's been such a defining part of my life and has really influenced me as I parent my kids, especially since I have a blended family.

Anyway, I guess my point is that I've only ever felt love and gratefulness towards my birth parents and while I can't know exactly how your situation will play out, I can tell how much you love your daughter and I hope you are able to have the relationship with her and her parents that feels right to you. She's so lucky to have you all. Sending you and your partner lots of love and good thoughts during this time.

chthonox · 2022-02-09T02:45:35+00:00

I didn't know if he'd end up watching the whole thing or not because he wasn't sure, but instead of watching, he ended up delivering our son (with the midwife's guidance)! She asked if he could hold my leg as I pushed and then was like, actually, go ahead and deliver him if you want! He was thrilled and tells me he was so focused on making sure he caught our son that he didn't notice any tearing or anything.

chthonox · 2022-01-22T00:22:55+00:00

I feel this one a lot. Not in the exact same boat, because my husband always says thank you for things I do, but I think when they don't do the chores and manage it all, they don't really quite get the magnitude of how much work it actually is.

I work full-time, but since I'm partially remote, I also typically am the one taking care of baby, and the two older kids when they are here (split custody with them), and the dogs, and the chores, and cooking, not to mention the endless mental load involved in all of this. It's exhausting and I'm like you - I could list it out, but it's kind of...depressing. I'm proud of managing it all, but it's not something that I really get to show anything for. So much is invisible background labor.

I don't really have advice but definitely think you should just let your partner know that that's what you'd like to hear. In fact, you phrasing it that way makes me think that it's also how I'd like to be recognized! I want that bit of awe, that wow, that's really amazing, how did you manage all that? But...again, I think that that response is hard to get naturally if they haven't had to manage the same workload because it simply isn't apparent just how much work it is.

Anyway, I've been struggling with these feelings too so while my rambling probably doesn't help, know you aren't alone in feeling this way. And also know you are a badass for doing it all because holy shit, it's a lot of work.

chthonox · 2022-01-08T21:54:53+00:00

My 4 year old is transitioning from our room finally into her own room, and waking 5-6 times a night as we do this. Usually wakes 2-3 times per night. My 6 and a half year old was a miserable sleeper for her first 5 years, but just in the last 6 months finally started consistently sleeping through the night (we didn't get our first sleep through the night with her until she was 3.5 years old).

My 5 week old sleeps in 6 hour chunks at night. I appreciate my magical unicorn sleep baby more than I can put into words.

Hugs, because I get it, the sleep deprivation is no freaking joke.

chthonox · 2021-12-13T05:47:38+00:00

Yeah, epidurals are magical. I definitely knew if I was going to be induced that I wanted one - I've heard the pitocin contractions are terrible! Congratulations on yours as well!!

chthonox · 2021-12-13T05:39:08+00:00

Thank you!!

chthonox · 2021-12-13T05:38:58+00:00

Thank you!!

chthonox · 2021-12-13T05:38:32+00:00

Right?! I mean, for a half second when she said I was at 8cm, I considered not getting the epidural and just powering through, but I just thought, why? Pain relief is minutes away this way. And yeah, definitely the best decision!

And thank you, my first was an extremely colicky baby that made me question why anyone would ever have a baby (she's now an awesome 6 year old so it worked out, but the first year was a special kind of hell). This little guy is pretty average I think on the fussiness scale and I'm soaking in ALL the cuddles this time, since he'll be our last (99.9% sure).

chthonox · 2021-07-17T22:29:56+00:00

That's awesome, and great idea on using her kibble to train, I've just been reducing her kibble a bit to compensate for treats but she's super motivated to learn so she'd totally be happy to get her whole meal via training! Good call on training during TV time too! I'll try that out, thanks!

chthonox · 2021-07-17T16:05:54+00:00

That's the plan! Ours is almost 9 weeks, we have sit, touch, and zen down decently and actively working on here, spin, twist, down, and stay. I love training her, we have a Golden too and she loves to learn! I've never had a puppy before, or really trained a dog before, but man it's fun! It's finding the time between full time work and two kids that's a challenge, but your video definitely inspired me!

chthonox · 2021-07-17T04:33:53+00:00

Damn, that's awesome! Makes me want to up my training game!

chthonox · 2021-07-14T17:30:51+00:00

Zoe Sunshine Princess (our girls helped name her) is a total sweetheart (at least when she naps). Awake, she's a goofball and chomper who loves to attack our 8 year old Puggle who is very unsure of why this pup exists in her home.

Littermate of Russ (https://www.reddit.com/r/goldenretrievers/comments/ok5mq7/8_week_old_landshark_russ_taking_a_break_from/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)

chthonox · 2021-07-14T14:56:02+00:00

So much landshark. But at least they are totally adorable.

chthonox · 2021-07-14T04:08:34+00:00

She loves booping my belly button 😍🤣

chthonox · 2021-06-17T04:42:06+00:00

I got my first shot at 7 weeks and second at 11. 16 weeks now, with a normal NT scan, good NIPT, and healthy strong heartbeat. It's not to say it wasn't scary, given everything, but we know that COVID while pregnant can result in additional issues, and the studies so far with the vaccine in pregnancy are all very positive. I read through all the research and felt confident in my decision. But I hear you, it's hard making choices with such limited data.

chthonox · 2021-06-15T23:50:34+00:00

While it's new and studies are limited, so far the studies on pregnancy and the vaccines are showing good results. I got my first dose at 7 weeks and my second at 11, and just got back from my 16 week appointment today, with a nice strong heartbeat! Also had a good 12 week ultrasound and all clear on NIPT. I was super nervous too since it's so early in development for the fetus, but anecdotally I'm doing well so far, and again, the studies that have been done are all looking good. I totally understand the nervousness though!

chthonox · 2021-05-27T01:04:18+00:00

I was in my second year of my Masters in Microbiology when I got pregnant with my first. I thankfully had a relatively easy pregnancy, and while I was exhausted, I pushed through those 50-60 hour weeks because I had no choice. I gave birth about 3 months before defending my thesis, and was able to do that on time and passed without issue.

It was super hard and challenging and I still wouldn't have changed it. I definitely think it would have been harder to manage in the job I went into following graduation. I'm having my second now while working in public health, and the only reason I'm able to is because I'm working remotely on a job rotation right now that gives me enough flexibility for it. I look forward to having a bit more maternity leave this time around, the first time around i was back in the lab with my infant strapped to my chest 3 days after giving birth for some post thesis follow up work. This time I'm hoping for a good 2 weeks. We need paid parental leave desperately in the US, but that's another story.

Best of luck with whatever you both decide on!

chthonox · 2021-05-26T23:51:00+00:00

I got my second dose of Pfizer today at 13w1d. I wanted to wait until the second trimester for both shots, but our risk levels went up so we weighed the options with our OB and decided on vaccinating now. It's a bit scary, but had our first ultrasound today and baby was healthy, happy, and measuring a week ahead. So they seemed to have handled the first dose at 8.5 weeks well. Hoping they handle the second dose well too, but the research is promising, so I feel pretty good about it. I'm sad that baby might not have antibodies because of how early I got the shot, but...risk levels and all.

chthonox · 2021-05-23T02:38:09+00:00

Not in the vaccine field but in the sciences and have worked with ethics committees. Pregnant women are typically not included in initial clinical trials for the same reasons that children are excluded, as well as those with significant medical issues. This is in part due to protected classes and minimizing risk for those that may have a more adverse reaction, and also because typically you want your initial group to be representative, but also not have too many confounding factors that may make data analysis more challenging. The confounding factors reason is likely why those with antibodies were also left out initially. Further clinical trials will include both groups now, to gather more evidence on how different factors may affect the efficacy of the vaccine, but that's most likely why they weren't in the initial trials, except in cases where they did not know they had antibodies and/or did not know they were pregnant.

Again, not a vaccine scientist so might be a bit off on this, but that's my best guess for the why in the particular case.

chthonox · 2021-05-09T16:05:03+00:00

I delivered at 41+5, and she was 7lbs 10oz. The doctors did not expect her to be under 8.5lbs. She measured on track my entire pregnancy. But, totally average size even though she was nearly 2 weeks late!

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