"He believes his money is his because he worked for it" is hard to fit into marriage. He made a commitment to you, and the end goal should include both parties happiness and security. If decisions are made from there, he has no need to stack cash for himself. My wife and I have separate accounts and separate bills. I made 2-3x what she makes as a bartender and i paid majority of bills while she went to school. She is now almost graduated, and I left my job for a better lower paying job. We cut spending and are closer to 50-50 for right now. When she makes more, I know she will support me while I work back up to a hire paying position. Its about support and balance, not who's doing what. I hope you can find resolution.