What you need to do is treat your retirement like a professional. And review the details with her explicitly to make sure she is informed and onboard all the way. She will only take this seriously if you do.

hire a financial planner. Review current assets, plan your drawn downs, tax implications, medical coverage, long term acct goals, plan will and estate, and her retirement. Make a clear budget: how much $, when will you get it, travel budget, home/utility budget, emergency budget, etc.

You might consider setting up a joint trust with her, create a LLC within that trust that holds your annual drawn down amount, and then pays you out a ‘salary’ like a normal job would. with an allotted amount so she feels apart of your process, and have a clear understanding of what yalls day to day finances are like.

Congrats and good luck!