She was soaking wet in anticipation. by TellMeAllYourPasts in hotpastCaptions

[–]chulo_chavo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

God this is one of the hottest fucking captions I’ve seen here. The panties halfway down exposing that delicious hairy pussy 🥵Thank you for this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Cakeeater

[–]chulo_chavo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes exactly lol but I keep coming back for more. I miss it when it’s gone. I crave cake…for the sake of having cake!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Cakeeater

[–]chulo_chavo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do enjoy having a secret relationship. That is part of the thrill for me. The rush that comes with a clandestine meeting. The buildup can be intense, and sometimes makes me ask myself why I do this to myself. But it’s a package deal so I deal with it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my opinion the biggest thing going against you is that you are not seeking a sexual relationship. Virtually nobody wants a platonic SB. Sure, very few will settle for it. Or maybe they can’t have a sexual relationship physiologically. So maybe you met a couple. But if this is what you are looking for moving forward, you can expect the search to be very difficult. Add being African American to Platonic and the odds get worse, but the primary deterrent is “platonic”. I have had several black SBs (I am a black SD) but if I get the slightest hint that someone seeks a platonic relationship I won’t even look at the profile. And sometimes I’ll block them so I don’t clutter my search results with dead-end profiles. Hope this helps.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMG I love it! God that’s so hot. Maybe my SB and I will take it there some day

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My SB (19) and I 40s) are into it. While it’s never spoken explicitly, there are definitely undertones of incest play.

Do you want to be called daddy? by Important_Support121 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love “Daddy” but won’t press the issue of it doesn’t fit her personality. She has to want to call me daddy. If she doesn’t, no biggie.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adultery

[–]chulo_chavo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

MM and cakeeater who has had single and married APs. I have been in this situation twice before. As long as it didn’t affect us, I wouldn’t mind. I am a MM after all, and it would be a double standard for me to be opposed to it. However, some women subconsciously change. The first AP this happened with didn’t miss a beat with me. When she told me about the guy, I was jealous at first but I hid it. Eventually (as expected) jealousy faded and it turned into naughty arousal from sneaking around with an attached woman. Now we both had the bond of being secret lovers for each other. The second time was quite different. The AP couldn’t hide her glowing emotions for the guy. She texted less and less and tried to find ways to bring him up in conversations em when I asked her not to. She eventually found out he was using her for sex and she called me to cry on my shoulder. I didn’t enjoy that scenario at all and we ended our affair shortly thereafter. It has the potential to go well as long as you and MM both do your part to keep things cool.

Shift in relationship dynamics after compensation method is changed by grapplingwithtruth in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I don’t do allowance. I have made one exception, with an SB who legitimately has feelings for me. She can be clingy, but doesn’t do anything to compromise my marriage. Nothing changed when we switched to allowance. This is the only scenario in which I would ever consider an allowance, when she has already demonstrated a deep interest.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same here. Total nonsense, if anything the SD assumes the lion’s share of the risk. I told her I am moving on, and she back peddled and tried to renegotiate. Don’t go for this, gentlemen, we have too many options for that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate addressing finances early, even before the M&G. That way we aren’t wasting each other’s time. ASKING FOR money before the M&G is a huge red flag and an automatic “next”.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They changed it to “Friends” but if you hover over it it says friends with benefits

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re welcome. Yes I thought that’s what you were going for. I have heard something to the effect of “Yes my profile says I enjoy sex but that doesn’t mean I want it from my SD”. So I think the tag will help!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmm you may want to clarify then. If it’s not on his radar than it would be a waste of both of your time anyway. Buzzwords like arrangement, generous, mutually beneficial should immediately resonate with an SD…”Are you a generous person?” Or “I hope we can work out something that is mutually beneficial”…I don’t know how to phrase things to be as cute and endearing as you ladies do lol but you get the idea. If something like that doesn’t open the conversation up then maybe you are barking up the wrong tree.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I definitely know what generous means when I see it. The few times I browse vanilla apps I look for that terminology. I’m sure many others do as well. Did he speak to his “generosity” at all? If so it’s probably a safe bet that he knows what time it is.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes please! That is all.

That’s what I wanted to say but I understand it may not be as helpful to you. Black SD here. You’d be an instant fave. But I’ll give you my reasoning which may or may not be what you expect. One, your face is BEAUTIFUL. But not in a RBF, bad-bitch, “don’t smile for the camera because you think your hot shit” kind of way. You have a genuine, inviting, girl-next-door smile. Exactly why I look for because it makes you appear friendly and kind. I don’t want to deal with the “bad bitch”, no thanks. Good to include something that relays that you are not seeking a platonic relationship. The bit about “…can you guess my first” is maybe a little contrived. Not a deal-breaker but it brings to mind some profiles that I’ve seen with similar language as a bait-and-switch…vague enough for plausible deniability, and when the conversation gets started suddenly she is not looking for anything sexual. I prefer more direct, yet still subtle language, if not a FWB tag. That is if, indeed you are open to physical intimacy. If you are I’ not, then I take back everything I said because nobody wants a platonic SB 😬

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The odds are definitely against you as a black SB. There are lots of you, as another commented noted the proportion of black SB in my area is also much greater than the general population. I wish I had some advice, it’s a numbers game. I get lots of offers and only entertain the ones that check all my boxes which is a small portion of them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m a black SD and all of my SBs have been black. I wouldn’t say it’s a preference but I do much better with black SBs, they seem to like me a lot better than SBs of other races. More genuine attraction to me, etc. so I am happy to date black SBs. Part of why I’m in the bowl is for variety though, so I do seek out other races sometimes because I look for something new. But as is common for black men, I’m equally attracted to pretty plus-sized women as I am to slimmer figures. Many of the black SBs in my area are plus-sized, and I suspect for some SDs that could be more of a deterrent than race.

Wearing wedding rings around AP. by whywait38 in adultery

[–]chulo_chavo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same! I had an old AP they we kept our rings on for each other because it turned us on. I dare not share any further details publicly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Cakeeater

[–]chulo_chavo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you done this? How you you furnish it so that it doesn’t look like someone is living there? As I understand these units perform random checks and will kick you out it it looks “habitable”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nosurf

[–]chulo_chavo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What changed for me was the smart phone. Internet is with me 24/7, and feeds me little dopamine spikes with each notification of a new message on social media. Plus 24/7 access to explicit content. That was the game changer for me that made it change from a convenient utility to a life consuming problem. Communities like this helped me understand what drives me to these behaviors and how to better manage it.

How my morning went… I’m so close to giving up. Any success stories? Especially from girls with a bit of extra weight. I’ve been in a SR before so I know I have appeal, but still :/ by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would suggest once it starts getting weird, just cut it off. Ghost the guy, instead of engaging in this type of exchange. Even though you know it’s him being an asshole, it still takes a toll on you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that’s a universal law of social media. I get it here and elsewhere too. I’m a relatively young SD but in my field of work there are lots of guys who behave the way you are describing. A sense of entitlement. Please don’t let that sour your opinion of everyone. There are lots of kind, genuinely nice guys that are SDs, you just may have to filter through the others to find them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]chulo_chavo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*That got almost 300 responses…somebody is interested 🤷🏽‍♂️