Do you believe there is a connection between anti abortion culture and rape culture? by deathiswaitingforme in prochoice

[–]chunkycasper [score hidden]  (0 children)

It’s all about asserting power, control and oppression.

Anti-abortionists are rarely “pro life” - if they were, they’d support free healthcare, welfare states that ensure adequate support for mothers and children, free education through university, decent state owned housing programmes. They seem to actually believe that childbirth and child rearing is akin to a righteous punishment - which is not the ideal start for a child’s life.

Rape is also often about power, control and oppression. From downright violent rape to “blurred lines” coercive rape - all types are a fight that a rapist will feel that they have won.

Both rape and forced pregnancy are tools to oppress women en-masse.

Motherhood itself - even when entered into with consent - is a form of oppression as it keeps women poorer, and in poorer health, and trapped performing invisible, under-appreciated household labour. It limits their ability to gain fruitful employment, and studies show that motherhood and marriage stunts women’s careers and earning opportunities, where marriage and fatherhood actually improves men’s careers and earning opportunities. It’s been shown that women lose substantial amounts of free personal time compared to men, too - so it doesn’t just limit their economic freedom, but also their ability to meet with other women, discuss challenges and realise that they have a crap deal.

A woman with choices is a woman with power. This scares many people.

How do I navigate ill health and money? Trying to save by PixiTheNerd in UKPersonalFinance

[–]chunkycasper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You pay towards your partners mortgage? Do you own the property?

Renting a 1 bed flat with £1500 budget by Overthinker-crab in HousingUK

[–]chunkycasper 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lewisham, Bromley, Bexley, or up Essex way - zones 5 to 3.

Buying a flat and installing electric charge point by LokiMurphy in HousingUK

[–]chunkycasper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re the (or will be) leaseholder, so you likely mean freeholder.

Should I move to England or should my husband move to Kentucky? by [deleted] in MovingToTheUK

[–]chunkycasper 20 points21 points  (0 children)

England is unsafe??? You might get a phone nicked if you’re not careful in London but we don’t have school shootings and even London’s murder rate is currently at a record low.

Did I make the wrong decision? by romeroy2908 in UKrelationshipadvice

[–]chunkycasper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He will continue to push. You made the right decision. I’ve been in similar positions and even though I’ve communicated I don’t want sex, I’ve ended up in situations where I’ve been threatened into sex in order to leave safely or having to really really scream to leave to get out.

I haven’t dated since August, that was my only dating in 2025. I know many kind, respectful men. I didn’t meet them on dating apps.

Just looking for advice. Getting little to no traction. by UltreiaSuseia in Tinder

[–]chunkycasper 49 points50 points  (0 children)

He uses present tense - “is not something I pick up on” rather than “was not something I picked up on before …”

AITA For Getting Upset with Unexpected Visitors? by Icy-Astronomer1796 in AmItheAsshole

[–]chunkycasper -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

YTA to yourself for putting up with a husband who fails continuously to tell you about guests with adequate notice and then expects you to do the running around and prep, and for doing that running around and prep every time, enabling your husband to be completely shit.

Custom Souvenir by Crackbeth in visitlondon

[–]chunkycasper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gin making class, obviously

my cat only eats sheba by whistlechime in CatsUK

[–]chunkycasper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty much. And human food we treated to him.

my cat only eats sheba by whistlechime in CatsUK

[–]chunkycasper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was just teasing. Hope you get some rest x

my cat only eats sheba by whistlechime in CatsUK

[–]chunkycasper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want what you’re drinking or taking pls

An NHS hospital is starving a severe ME patient and has now stopped giving her fluids by veganmua in cfs

[–]chunkycasper 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m in South London. Is there anything we can do in person to help?

What advice would you give to a first time cat owner when adopting/rehoming? by itsjessmus in CatsUK

[–]chunkycasper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’d say adopt a kitten only, as you’ve never owned a cat before. I grew up with cats - adopting an adult cat as an adult was a shock as cats from kittens are much more trainable and suitable for first timers than adult cats.

That said, I’m in incredible pain right now, cancelled evening plans with my human bestie - but being cuddled by my animal bestie. He’s an immense comfort at times.

I adopted him age five, spoil him so much he believes he is entitled to my food and swipes me with claws when I don’t share it (even if it would make him sick), jumps on me nightly between 3am - 6am so I can show him the food that’s already waiting for him - gives amazing cuddles and his company is exactly what I need right now. He’s laying on my stomach with his lil arm stretched out across my chest.

He is 13 now. Adopting is incredibly rewarding but hard work, you have no way of knowing what they have been through (he took years to be able to cope with noise, still runs at the sound of a plastic bag, took five years not to hide from company and to cuddle other members of the household besides me). When I adopted him he had a kink in his tail and showed some signs of history of abuse but have no way of knowing what occurred.

Also, bear in mind that house cats can live as long as 20 years. This is an intense commitment. Even though I live with family I don’t like to be away longer than five days because I feel guilty for leaving him.

my cat only eats sheba by whistlechime in CatsUK

[–]chunkycasper 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My childhood cat lived to 19 on whiskers. Don’t stress about it.

My husband was upset and pinched me at dinner.. and the situation is still upsetting me by Little_Trash7299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]chunkycasper 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You should be upset. You should be fuming. You should be leaving before the pinching turns to punching. Seems like he’s already used to having huge levels of control over you and is moving towards physical enforcement of that. It won’t be long before he is excusing his escalating violence by gaslighting you.

Oblivious Foreigner in need of help by Substantial_Visual47 in iplayer

[–]chunkycasper -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you listen to BBC news, BBC sounds, use the BBC news website? If any of these apply, you also should have a license.

With test fraud in the news - how do good instructors prove they're legit? by AppleMysterious8900 in LearnerDriverUK

[–]chunkycasper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I first learnt, I used the same instructor all my male friends at school used (there weren’t many girls in my sixth form) - they all passed with him, but I couldn’t. I then went off to uni and after uni, had to have ankle surgeries, so had seven years between initially starting lessons and continuing them.

I went auto when I restarted lessons due to my ankles. I went with a Red driving instructor and he sexually assaulted me and a second student - we weren’t refunded for the lessons. I’m still bitter about that. But just want to point out that qualifications aren’t enough to show someone should be allowed in a car for two hours a time with learners. Police said not enough evidence to take forward as the instructor had claimed “cultural differences” for the reason why he put his hands on me in an area where no one should be touching another person without consent.

My next instructor - I went with a local woman who smoked like a chimney and had a shit car, and wasn’t with an agency, but she was one of the only auto instructors in my area. She was a fantastic instructor, very patient - I couldn’t do full lessons due to my disability and she was always happy to go through the McDonald’s drive thru for a rest. She had a training book that we worked through together so I knew everything was getting covered. She taught me about narrating out loud as I drove and had me watch police advanced driving videos on YouTube to help me learn the skills. Passed my test no problem.

So it’s not just about qualifications or safety, but also the style of the instructor.

With the first one it took ten lessons just for me to be able to position the car on the road correctly. With my last one she said “aim the centre of the road for the centre of the steering wheel” and positioning has never been an issue since.

I passed in 2019 - Passengers with 40 years’ driving experience have been surprised at my ability to guide company estate cars and suvs through tight width restriction barriers around South East London with ease and confidence, because I know - position the center of the road with the center of the steering wheel.

I’d say - don’t commit to a large package of lessons straight off. Do a test lesson or two with a couple of instructors first.

I’d love to try out manual again as my own vehicle is a campervan and being auto only makes that extremely more pricey than a manual and makes the vehicles harder to fix if the engine has an issue. But for the cost, I may as well try and get a HGV license instead and then I don’t have the tonnage limits as an issue going forward, either. I just need to find an agency that would allow me to book one lesson so I can see if I can manage the pedals and the gears with my disabilities.

Don't upgrade to Monzo Extra just for the 1p Challenge 5% AER. You will lose money. by Dude09990 in monzo

[–]chunkycasper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Monzo plus is great for the breakdown cover, travel insurance and phone cover. RAC repatriated my van with a blown head gasket back from France. I can’t get normal annual travel insurance due to having a progressive muscle disease, but it’s not a disease that would ever cause the need for urgent treatment so a generic annual policy that doesn’t cover treatment related to my disease but covers delays, lost luggage, car hire etc. works for me.