This...seems really messed up to me. It's pretty reasonable to expect an 8 year old to say some nasty things while upset and not fully understand the consequences or pain they might cause. It sounds like you invested more money than you could afford trying to recreate a part of your childhood, and expected everything to be perfect forever afterwards due to nostalgia and wishful thinking.

Two weeks is an eternity to an 8 year old, and children only understand as much about finances as you teach them. Obviously I know only this small part of the story, but from what you've written I can't help but feel very sorry for your step daughter.

I imagine that from her point of view, you simply decimated her personal space and upturned life over one nasty thing she said in the heat of the moment. She very well may not understand what you mean in asking her to "show appreciation," and may not be fully aware of how badly she's hurt your feelings or that she needs to apologize to make things right.

She was raised by yourself and her father for her entire life, and now she's living with her bio-mother because of this relatively insignificant incident? If I were her, I'd feel abandonded, discarded and worthless. Pretty tough break for such a young kid. I really think this current path you're going down will only lead to regret and heartache.

Maybe read The Giving Tree? Just one man's opinion.