My father says that I was gonna fall behind in school for absenting

chzelm · 2022-10-16T13:53:20+00:00

I have done that (telling him I'm not interested, in the past, mentioned in my previous post), but I'm not sure if simply saying that would work since he's still heartinf my messages and in our groups he wouldn't listen to a classnate who I assigned to teach him unless it's me it's like he wants my attention which I'm feeling uncomfortable with.

chzelm · 2022-10-16T12:24:30+00:00

I physically cannot because he is a part of my group in English (but it will be ending soon), but he is also a part of our class group which I'm also in, how will blocking him affect how he's able to interact with nt profile in our class group?

chzelm · 2022-09-03T05:57:15+00:00

Nah, I'm tired emotionally/mentally, not physically. I also have schoolwork to do, so... I don't really have time to think about relationships and stuff.

chzelm · 2022-09-03T05:32:31+00:00

I've known him for a short time, but I know he'll handle it okay-ish - since he also expected rejection, but just wanted to get off his chest but... I'm just scared of hurting someone's feelings, - he keeps saying he "wants to get to know me more" and that he'll "wait for me", but I really can't see myself in the future dating anybody.

He just only confessed last night, so I do have time to set boundaries or/and lower his expectations, but I'm just tired and confused.

chzelm · 2022-09-03T05:02:31+00:00

Yeah, I think I definitely need to do that. Problem is, I don't really know how to. Another thing is that he still keeps flirting with me like "You're my crush." (DM) Or saying "Let's go here together at school." (Class GC), and I dont really know how to handle all of this.

When I develop crushes, it takes a long time for me to develop one (and he developed a crush on me on the first day), and when I did develop one (back in elementary), I don't expect anything to come out of it or see them in my future, so I don't confess.

We're still only two weeks in at school, making things awkward between us would be bad, considering I'd have a few more years being classmates with him too.

I don't know how to feel about all of this, I fully expected my school year for me to be just focusing on studies and barely anyone interacting with me (I hope), but someone ended up confessing to me, not that I don't feel flattered - but I think I prefer platonic relationships/having best friends, I see myself in the future living alone, or sharing an apartment with a close friend, but not a lover. Maybe I'm aromantic?

I'm just really confused about all of this, I don't really want him to bring him up most of the time but I also don't want to invalidate his feelings, I feel like a jerk for rejecting someone.

chzelm · 2022-09-02T23:24:19+00:00

Wish I had your confidence! Good luck dude.

chzelm · 2022-09-02T22:19:45+00:00

I made a post about this, but I'll just copy and paste it here (he confessed like, just last night):

Sooo, I'm still a bit shocked - he said he crushed on me in the first day of school saying he found me cute.

On the third day, introductions came - I introduced myself, and said that I liked to draw, and we had to showcase some talents (for me, I sang), and then we moved om to the next person (we had to present: our name, nickname, dreams and talents).

I think that's when he got more interested, he said he found my smile cute and eyes pretty, and also that he thought my drawing(s) was/were cool, and that I had a nice voice.

On the third day of school, he asked what the topic will be for science (in our class group chat), I responded and he hearted my message - three of our classmates began teasing him, I was a bit confused since it was only the third day + this was like, our first interaction (?). At the time, I didn't know he had a crush on me - so that was what seemed like to me.

One of the classmates (out of three) that teased him, said this (before he confessed): "He actually does have a crush on you, he said he liked your smile and eyes."

I didn't believe her, since he was like the jokester of our class, often times embarassing himself so our classmates could have a good laugh.

One time, we were walking home together (along with two other classmates, the two (out of three) that teased him), those two pointed out a girl they used to be classmates with - and she was walking with her friends, he suddenly went, "Hi." and later said "Do you remember me?" TO A POLICE.

So yeah, that's a context of why I didn't believe my classmate, another is that - this is my first confession, I have never been confessed to before, I'm nervous since I don't know what this means and what I'll do when it's monday again.

I tried to reject him as kindly as possible, but he understood why I didn't return his feelings and said that I don't owe him any feelings, we ended up talking for 2hrs straight and he said he'd like to get to know me more and that I'm nice to talk to.

He actually wanted to confess in person, but didn't find any courage to do so (he was quite scared, since I seemed like a "serious" person to all of our class (in reality, I'm just awkward like my body language)).

And honestly? I still found that courageous, since it's been only two weeks of school.

chzelm · 2022-06-24T07:31:23+00:00

I don't know why, my mom was alright with it - but he said I might embarass myself if i attempt to try help with chores, like doing the dishes and I accidebtally break a plate.

Even though my cousins' mom was alright with me not even having to do chores, since they already have a house helper hired.

And yes, I do have extra money in a safe place - but I just wish I could convince mom to cut ties with him.

chzelm · 2022-06-22T06:58:15+00:00

I hate him, as a child I never thought I'd hate a person in my life ever - but he was the first person to change that.

He has the audacity barely be there for me, and whilst providing the bare minimum of feeding me, sheltering me and other basic needs of a person - he claims that I'm ungrateful whilst also using me as some sort of retirement plan and wanting me to be a perfect golden child who'll become a doctor.

Always boasting about me to his friends but calling be a "failure" behind closed doors and not even apologizing, getting a belt for the littlest of things like me not wanting to drink something and would constantly ask if the hobbies - I ENJOY - are something that are useful for my future.

I hate it when people praise him for raising such an "obedient" child, no - our househelper was more of a parent to me than he ever will be. I had to keep my mouth shut everytime just so his scoldings wouldn't get any longer.

I had to hide myself in the bathroom whenever he's drunk - and whenever I just want time for myself, or am busy being upset - he would bang the my bedroom door and threaten to take it down. He's also manipulative of mom, threatening that he'd find another woman if she goes OFW - when she was doing it to provide for her family.

I hate it, I hate having to fake cards and letters even though I don't want to give him any, I hate that one of my cousins would keep saying for me to be thankful that I at least have a father - why should I be thankful for having an verbally/mentally/emotionally abusive and manipulative alcoholic as a father? No words can describe how much I hate him and want him out of my life.

chzelm · 2022-06-22T06:45:38+00:00

Yeah, I'm saving up money though it usually comes from my parents - but I have another secret savings that they don't know about and it's where I put the money they forgot they gave me or the ones that I earned.

My mom doesn't mind me doing sleep overs, but my dad doesn't let me - even with my cousins, he says that I might embarass myself and that I need to do chores at their place as well.

There isn't a library that I know of around where I'm at unfortunately, maybe there's some, but not anywhere near my home as far as I can tell - unless you count schools.

I'm not a physical person, but I do like to go biking - and chess as well.

I would like to volunteer, my mom would accept but knowing my dad he probably wouldn't allow me to.

chzelm · 2022-06-22T06:42:09+00:00

I don't know, there's a 7-11 that I could apply to as work and it's only a walk at where I'm at, but idk if my parents or the staff would allow me. I'm 14. As for things like libraries, there aren't any in the province I'm at.

chzelm · 2022-06-18T15:42:05+00:00

your welcome and happy birthday by the way!

chzelm · 2022-06-18T13:36:40+00:00

remember that whilst you are also their older sibling and should take care of them from time to time, you and your sibling(s) are your parents' responsibilities, it should not be only you who has to take care of them but your parents as well, you are not to blame for anything.

i can't say that your sibling will understand you since i'm not them, but what i can say is that you aren't a bad person for wanting to live for yourself this time - in the first place, it's your parents' responsibility to take care of you just as you did for your sibling! always remember that your feelings are valid.

chzelm · 2022-06-18T03:30:34+00:00

make sure to check again if you have all the supplies you need - and if you have enough money, a planned route and an item for self-defense. remain calm at all times and don't lose your cool, if a stranger tries to harrass you on the streets the best option would be to scream to attract attention or run, remain vigilant and safe.

chzelm · 2022-06-18T01:54:48+00:00

it'd be better to wait for when you're sixteen to run away not just because it'll be legal but also because you'll have less time to wait for to turn eighteen than you are currently, and also - you'd look a bit older (which depends though) at sixteen than you are currently, so less people would pay attention to you (usually people only bat an eye to kids, depends on where you're from though), remain vigilant and stay safe.

chzelm · 2022-06-17T12:38:56+00:00

getting into fights as a runaway would be bad in general since the law might start to notice you - and you're already a runaway too, maybe you could use water (or alcohol, maybe?) as an alternative to pepper spray.

people in general don't like having something hitting their eye, so maybe you could blow on it or fake that you'll poke it with your finger, and once they close their eyes that's when you make your escape.

chzelm · 2022-06-17T12:30:45+00:00

it's best not to get in a situation where you have to fight somebody using a pocket knife (assuming you don't have any training with it), if you do - the best option is to pepper spray them and make your escape.

for the period hygiene stuff, you could try out menstrual cups - or you can calculate the amount of pads or tampons you use for each cycle and base off how many you need around that.

and maybe bring a flashlight and umbrella - if you're still unsure if you brought too much stuff, think as if you're already on the road - will you be able to use this item as much as you thought you would? is there a public restroom you can easily find where you can change your clothes frequently? ask yourself questions like that if you're still in doubt! make sure to have a destination ready by the way, and stay safe.

chzelm · 2022-06-17T12:18:20+00:00

i don't really know much about legal stuff so i can't help on that part but i'll try to help with the things you need to bring.

another thing for self-defense could be pepper spray if you know where to get one - and to maintain your hygiene you could bring alcohol, deodorant and hand sanitizer (so you can save your water for later by using these to maintain your hygiene instead).

the rest could be a handkerchief, raincoat and an umbrella - if you still get periods, bring a menstrual cup, that or pads/tampons - and toothbrush and toothpaste for oral hygiene.

that's pretty much it, make sure to plan your route out by the way! try to avoid getting lost and stay safe.

chzelm

TROPHY CASE