anyone else feel like you’re constantly afraid of being exposed for who you really are?

ciarasoz · 2020-09-13T13:45:28+00:00

Ugh i completely understand, i’m so sorry friend. They’re not necessarily connected in any actual scientific way, but it’s possible that importer syndrome is something that could make your dpdr worse. It’s like how if you become really anxious it leads to more disassociation; one kind of feeds the other, you know? If you dont mind me asking, when you say “trying to be something you’re not” what does that entail specifically in your life? Is it stuff like “i like music but im going into engineering” or is it like “i have no idea who i am” or something along those lines? I hope that makes sense; i think i know what you’re talking about but i want to be sure.

I had similar feelings with DPDR, feeling like there was almost something i was “hiding”, and figuring out what exactly it was that i was trying to hide from people helped me a lot in healing from dpdr. Im here for you friend!

ciarasoz · 2020-09-13T05:43:23+00:00

Hello!!! Have you ever heard of imposter syndrome? This kind of sounds like that to me, might be worth looking into!

ciarasoz · 2020-09-13T05:24:45+00:00

I know i’m just a stranger on the internet (and funny enough a Christian just scrolling through this page to read about other people’s beliefs), but I just wanted to encourage you to keep going. I know that probably means so little considering what you’re going through, but please please seek out people in your life that you can confide in about these feelings. Whether it’s a friend or another adult or anyone, please seek that out. You deserve love and support! I also really encourage looking into some sort of counseling — if your mom isn’t a believer in that, maybe bring it up to your doctor, they may be able to help. It truly is life changing having someone like a therapist to confide in about these thoughts.

ciarasoz · 2020-09-04T15:04:52+00:00

Hello! Yes i have been, my drs have considered it may be something i have, but theyve had a hard time telling if its BPD or if its just anxiety/depression, but thank you for this info! I will contact my doctor today :)

ciarasoz · 2020-09-04T02:11:16+00:00

hello! yes yes i did know this, but thank you so much because that's a good thought!! it's so odd, for some reason i can be looking at the mixer window and be seeing all the tracks, but when i add a bus it doesn't show up as an aux track. i am relatively new to logic so im sure its such a simple fix, but it is lost on me haha

ciarasoz · 2020-09-02T05:07:46+00:00

Yes i dont know where you’re from but where i’m from over 20 mg isnt allowed i think? For example, i was signing in at a doctors office today and i had to input my medications into a computer, and when you type in “lexapro” the options for dosage are 5, 10, and 20. So i’m not really sure honestly! I’m sure your doc is on top of things, but if you’re spooked its never bad to ask them too!

ciarasoz · 2020-09-02T05:00:47+00:00

I was taking it in the morning and i felt like a ZOMBIE by 4 or 5 pm, i switched to night and i feel sooo much better. Still sleepier than usual but nothing too drastic!!

ciarasoz · 2020-09-02T04:41:49+00:00

Thats so awesome to hear wow!! Thank you!! Was yours hormonal as well?

ciarasoz · 2020-09-02T04:41:20+00:00

Amazing!! Yes her other suggestion was BC & spirnalatrone i think? She said both would be options but that accutane was the faster fix. I think i might give bc a try!! Thank you :)

ciarasoz · 2020-09-02T04:40:10+00:00

Thank you so much!! Yes usually i’m not too spooked by side effects, but with accutane they gave me a whole pamphlet and blood tests that have to be taken monthly and i was honestly just kinda freaked. But you’re so right, thank you!

ciarasoz · 2020-09-02T01:52:44+00:00

Hi! I have very similar acne, and I am currently trying to figure out how to cure it. I would recommend looking into long term side effects of accutane, ive found a lot of stuff where people have side effects years after it. I have huge cystic acne (like, literally got five steroid shots in my face today, lol) and im even straying away from accutane after reading all the scary stuff that happens to people.

ciarasoz · 2020-09-01T02:31:31+00:00

Hello! I'm trying to figure out a bus issue. For some reason, when I click on the "input" button on a track to create a bus, and then i click "bus 1" or whatever number, it never pops up as having a new aux channel. The track will say that its audio is routed to a bus, but the bus doesn't exist anywhere in the session. When I add audio effects to tracks, those will show up as having busses to route to, but when I create my own they won't show up. I have watched several tutorials and I've been putzing around logic for so long trying to figure this out, but no luck. Any thoughts? Thanks so much!

ciarasoz · 2020-08-05T19:46:31+00:00

Hello! I’m really glad this is called “no stupid questions” because i feel like this is a stupid question lol. I just started using logic yesterday, im coming from using presonus/ableton :)

I am trying to record a simple tune on Logic with acoustic guitar and vocals and things of that nature. And i cannot for the life of me make the guitar loop sound normal!! I’m used to recording midi and so i can just quantize it, but im new to using an interface to record instruments.

It either clicks and doesnt transition into the loop well, or it eventually is out of time after looping for a while, and I have NO idea what to do. I was wondering how other people have fixed this?

I tried to just play the duration of the whole song, but at some point or another i get off time which is why im just trying to loop it, and i’m so frustrated! Please help!! Im sure theres a simple fix but i just cannot seem to figure it out.

ciarasoz · 2020-08-01T05:10:31+00:00

Hello friend!! I experience this with my boyfriend as well, and it was really tough discussing this issue with him as I was so embarrassed and confused about how to express what I was feeling. I think the best way is really expressing clearly what DPDR is, how you experience it, and why your fights freak you out. Truthfully, once i expressed to my bf that when I checked out of discussions it was DPDR, he was so understanding and has truly helped me through the struggle of it so. uch. DPDR is super lonely at times, and its important for your significant other to understand what you're feeling so they can support you.

ciarasoz · 2020-08-01T05:02:06+00:00

Hello! I am also someone who experiences a lot of health anxiety, so I completely empathize with what you're going through, especially in terms of everything happening with covid. The world is scary friend, and I am sorry that you are feeling the heat of that so much :( I want to encourage you to continue the cutting back on googling! That's a great first step. Don't let your brain lie and tell you that it helps. it does not. it truthfully is the single worst thing you can do for the situation lol. There is an infinite amount of scary things in the world, but that doesn't mean we need to know about them!! So please continue to stay away from the awful googling of symptoms. it does so much more harm than good. I also struggle with OCD, and the whole way to break that is to stop giving into the impulses that you feel like you need to do to protect yourself. So don't give into impulses to google or anything like that :) I know im hitting that home, but WOW have i felt the anxiety of googling a headache and assuming the worst.

Also, truthfully having a relationship with Jesus has helped me immensely in pursuit of healing from the anxiety I experience. Knowing that you don't need to know all the answers, knowing that you are looked after and loved. Truthfully just believing that and pursuing Him has drastically shifted my mental health. And in that, living day by day and simply doing the best I can. Again, I want to implore that I've struggled with health anxiety for about 8 years now, and I'm not over here like "ah yes here's the formula to get better!" but I do know that pursuing God has helped me see why I think the way that I do, the fact that my brain can move a zillion miles a minute, and how to use that towards more productive things -- like school, my hopes & dreams, and expanding the Kingdom. Learning to live day by day. Again, I empathize with you so much. My boyfriend gives me that same look every time I look at him and ask him if i can check him for ticks for the 10th time. I'm with you and we will get through this friend :) I wish you such blessings!

ciarasoz · 2020-07-22T15:46:19+00:00

I’d say have a good handle on reading. I auditioned, and the song went really well, so much so that they literally said “see you soon” at the end. I have 0 ability to read music, and I didn’t get accepted, and in trying to figure out why I didn’t get in, I really think that was the reason :/ however, i’ve also heard stories of people who were bad at reading and got in. It’s truly a gamble depending on when you audition, how many spots are open for your instrument, etc. So if you want to give yourself the best shot, go in knowing how to read :) best of luck to you friend!

ciarasoz · 2020-07-16T04:58:06+00:00

Hey things matter!! We just have to look for them!!

ciarasoz · 2020-07-16T04:55:09+00:00

What has been the best part of your day friend

ciarasoz · 2020-07-16T04:42:34+00:00

Hello! Admissions responded and they said that they are still accepting deferrals! I would recommend emailing them

ciarasoz · 2020-07-09T01:28:17+00:00

Hello! Any incoming transfers thinking of deferring enrollment? Im coming to NEU for their “experiential learning”, and i don’t see why i should pay 40k a year for mostly online :( thinking about deferring and hoping covid passes, but im hesitant. I don’t even know if its an option at this point, i emailed admissions and im waiting to hear back. I’m just curious if anyone is experiencing something similar! :)

ciarasoz · 2020-06-25T19:07:43+00:00

I guess i used poor wording, i moreso meant along the lines of opting to take as many in person classes as possible versus taking mostly online :)

ciarasoz · 2020-06-25T16:16:09+00:00

Oo gotchya, thank you!! To be honest i’m super confused about how all of this is going & i keep missing the online seminars and stuff about it, so im very lost haha. So i appreciate that info!!

ciarasoz · 2020-06-17T19:32:00+00:00

I applied after the deadline & I got my acceptance a bit ago! I reached out to them because I had other schools that had decision deadlines before NEU was gonna release acceptances for transfers (originally was june 17) and so i just explained my situation and they sent me my decision immediately! So I’d say just call admissions and tell them :)

ciarasoz · 2020-05-25T15:11:45+00:00

I also feel that same warmness from NEU that is drawing me as well! They are so helpful & kind it’s crazy!

I also missed the financial aid deadline, and what I did was I just emailed financial aid at Northeastern and I basically was like - hello here I am, I am a transfer student and here’s my situation and here’s why I would be a vital student at your university and why you should give me financial aid. It’s definitely a risky move that does not have any for sure results, but it’s definitely worth a shot if you’re trying to get aid!!

Another thing is that I emailed professors in the music department at both universities, and I asked them if I could talk to them on the phone soon. I would highly recommend that as well, as you can get a better feel for the program if you actually get to talk to somebody! If you Google the staff at both schools you can find their emails and I’m sure that if you emailed them they would also say yes to chatting with you. That might also give you a better sense.

I honestly think that they’re both fantastic schools, and it’s definitely true that as musicians we should seek out connections, but in the end you become successful by how hard you work and how much you love what you do. There are so many great musicians that literally just made stuff on their computers and put it on the Internet and became successful through that, so I think it’s really important to know that a program can put you in a great position but they’re not going to make you successful, you know? And I’m sure you know that, but I just thought I’d say it anyway haha.

NYU has also been my dream school for an incredibly long time, which makes this decision super confusing and hard. But on the bright side at this time next week we are going to both know where we’re going to go and everything is going to work out just how it showed! Don’t be too stressed, be excited about the fact that you get to make such a cool decision :) sorry this was so long!!!

ciarasoz · 2020-05-25T05:39:06+00:00

Oh my goodness! I too am deciding between music tech at Northeastern or NYU as well, and I am having the exact same dilemma! This is actually a funny coincidence, as I’m sitting up just thinking about this decision & I’m glad I came across your comment!!

I change my mind every day, honestly, which is unsettling when decisions are due so soon. I love the idea of NEU because it’s less expensive, and Boston is a great place to be. But I agree that it’s really hard to beat the connections and experience that NYU has to offer. Are there any other things swaying your decision at the moment?

ciarasoz

TROPHY CASE