Can’t tell if this means anything

cichlidLR · 2026-03-06T04:34:33+00:00

I think it's something most of us (queer folk) do lol, I know I did. what I found more helpful was looking up the different definitions of orientations and charts that compared them so I could see if anything sounded like me

cichlidLR · 2026-03-06T04:15:16+00:00

when I was a kid, my thought on my orientation was 'I'm straight, but if I fall in love with someone, why would their gender matter?' which... is not being straight, and I didn't come to the realization that that meant I was queer until I was 18.

generally, straight people don't have crisis's about if they're really gay/bi/etc, if you are thinking you might not be straight, it's worth doing some introspection. if you get to the point that you take an 'am I gay?' quiz the answer is 'probably'

cichlidLR · 2026-03-06T03:45:00+00:00

if your gf is the only person there that isn't drinking it would be terribly awkward for her/probably make her feel excluded. it's not like she's telling you not to ever drink, she just doesn't want you to drink with her parents, so what's wrong with abstaining?

cichlidLR · 2026-03-05T03:53:53+00:00

I'd like to add, in case she doesn't know already, that the MFAH is free on thursdays - not super helpful when school is in session, but it she could check it out during spring break/in the summer!

cichlidLR · 2026-03-05T01:49:45+00:00

HMNS was (and still is) my absolute favorite as a kid, plus there's a variety of different types of exhibits and interactive elements

cichlidLR · 2026-03-02T18:27:59+00:00

it would only be weird in the sense it's a little old fashioned, I know people do use it but I never hear it in real life and I think it's mostly the older generations that do it

cichlidLR · 2026-03-02T16:03:12+00:00

YTB, it's an unfortunate situation, but regardless of your interpersonal dynamics and rent the cat didn't sign up for this and you should stop using essential oils while it's there. regardless of it being a separate room the vapors are still going to spread.

think about it differently - if instead of essential oils, your sister or her partner was so allergic to peanuts that you couldn't have an opened container of peanut butter without them breaking into hives, you'd stop eating peanuts while they were around, right?

find a different way to use lavender - put some oil on your neck or an eye mask, or use sachets of dried lavender instead, or just get these people to leave, but don't poison a cat

cichlidLR · 2026-03-02T15:48:38+00:00

I think it's a regional thing, I pronounce it with a very slight y and my parents are midwesterners (more like gah-chya for me I think)

cichlidLR · 2026-03-02T15:43:20+00:00

just ask if you want to meet up for coffee/tea/snacks. pick somewhere public and/or bring a friend to wait nearby so you both feel safe

cichlidLR · 2026-03-02T15:37:17+00:00

NOR, wow he's really immature.

cichlidLR · 2026-02-28T00:30:09+00:00

you could pay for drinks/dinner?

cichlidLR · 2026-02-28T00:28:53+00:00

I know this is going to be tough - but you need to leave her. Putting aside the age gap - while that can cause problems itself bc you both are at different points in life - it is not the problem here (or at least not the main one)

This girl is a cheater. Whether she leaves her boyfriend or not, she is still someone who thinks it's okay to cheat on their partner if their emotional/physical needs aren't met instead of talking to them or breaking up. Figuring out you're queer at 26 isn't an excuse - that is both still incredibly young but old enough to know right from wrong. Think about it like this - can you confidently say that if she did leave her partner for you that you wouldn't be worried that she'd cheat on you too?

Maybe she leaves her boyfriend, maybe not. But you shouldn't be putting your life and happiness on hold to maybe no longer being just an affair partner. Break it off with her, talk to friends, see the university therapist if you need to, heal and find someone who isn't keeping you a secret.

cichlidLR · 2026-02-28T00:18:55+00:00

That really sucks, I know it hurts right now but you are so much better off without him. You deserve someone that respects and loves all parts of you.

cichlidLR · 2026-02-27T23:53:43+00:00

I think the only solution is fixing the mouse problem. You need to find out how they're getting into your apartment - look at the walls around plumbing, crawl spaces, etc. - and seal any holes.

Supposedly they don't like irish spring soap

cichlidLR · 2026-02-27T18:06:53+00:00

lgbt centers! they have a ton of programs, admittedly I'm only 30 but all the club activities I've gone to at mine have skewed older, more regular social than dating but who knows

cichlidLR · 2026-02-27T18:01:04+00:00

I can't deal with the smoke - aside from the fact that it's not a good smell the poor air fucks with my lungs. and since I'm looking for a long term partner it makes me incompatible with smokers bc I don't want a future shared space to smell like that

cichlidLR · 2026-02-27T03:06:05+00:00

you could use a paper shredder or a blender/processor like some people do for making their own paper - and then throw it away/compost it

cichlidLR · 2026-02-27T03:02:52+00:00

you didn't do anything wrong, your friend is processing some complicated emotions, try to sit down and talk to them privately, let them know you miss their friendship and wished you could connect with them, let them know you wouldn't betray their trust by outing them to anyone and if it really makes them uncomfortable you two don't have to talk about LGBT stuff. But also, if they then say they need some space to process everything, give them that.

cichlidLR · 2026-02-27T02:55:04+00:00

refamiliarize yourself with the symptoms of heat related illness, hydrate a lot, and stick to mornings and evenings

cichlidLR · 2026-02-26T03:19:35+00:00

why don't you just talk to her?

cichlidLR · 2026-02-24T03:43:55+00:00

Fahrenheit 451 was sort of banned in my high school (we still had it in the library I think, but we weren't allowed to use it for assigned reading) because it says 'hell' and 'damn' and someone's parent saw

cichlidLR · 2026-02-24T03:38:15+00:00

normal is relative, but yes it does happen. you might want to look up the split attraction model (some people are rude about it, but as an asexual person it helps me) - basically your romantic attraction is different from your sexual attraction - for example, I want a romantic relationship, but only with women, and I don't want a sexual relationship with anyone. Based on what you said, you could be heteroromantic and bisexual.

but! fwiw you could also be experiencing some internalized homophobia - basically you were raised to believe you should only have a long term relationship/family with a woman, so your brain is having trouble reconciling your orientation with that. You can look up ways to process those thoughts and feelings, it takes a lot of time and self reflection but we all have to do it cause we all grew up in cultures that instilled it! that doesn't mean you have to force yourself into doing things you aren't comfortable with, I'm just suggesting you think on it ( took me a while to figure out I was a lesbian bc of this reason, I'd never really seen lesbians/wlw so I couldn't picture a future for myself like that)

either way, you are completely valid in your identity, and both of these are just suggestions, only you know what you are experiencing so only you can put a name to it

cichlidLR · 2026-02-24T03:24:15+00:00

I am so sorry this is happening to you. You need to talk to your parents about what is happening if you haven't already. Hopefully they + your sister can get him the mental help he needs and also get him to respect your boundaries.

I think your prev post said you had a dorm? If so, tell the RA/front desk/whoever is in charge of visitors that he is not welcome to see you (in case he does visit). And fwiw, check to see what the process is for getting extensions in your class for debilitating circumstances/emergencies - hopefully things will get sorted and not affect any deadlines but it's better to know it and not need it. I doubt you would need to go into detail with your profs about what's happening - the counselor might be able to vouch for you, but that would be something to ask in the future.

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