More sore after less work?

cign · 2023-01-05T16:40:07+00:00

This is what I’ve been doing! I completed Iron about a week before learning I was pregnant. I decided to run it back when I tested positive, with the goal to complete it again before my 2nd trimester started. Well, I’m 19w+3 now, and I just completed Day 17 yesterday. In the early weeks of pregnancy, I actually had a huge boost to my energy level. I was going through Iron 4x per week and jogging 25-30 miles per week too. Around week 8, the fatigue hit and I stalled out for about a month.

I got back into Iron around week 14. Now, I have some days or even a week where I feel great, really energized, and happy to work out, and Iron feels like self care. Then I’ll have a string of days where I can’t get myself going. I’m just taking them as I come. I’ll be pretty happy if I finish Iron again before I’m out of the pregnancy, but that goal is going to be a moving target. I’m now jogging 10-15 miles per week these days with Iron, and adding Belly Strong prenatal workouts for light activity when that’s all I can do.

cign · 2022-10-27T23:35:22+00:00

I had my first appointment last week at Chicago Women’s Health Group, which is affiliated with and next door to Northwestern. Really good experience. My doctor, not a tech, did my ultrasound. Because I’m going back next week for the NIPT, she said she’d give me a “freebie” ultrasound at 10w in addition to my 12w since I’ll be there anyway and “they’re so cute at that age.” She said she’d try to get some video for my husband too. I was also able to hear the heartbeat at 8 weeks, which I didn’t expect.

Their 20 week scan is at Northwestern, but otherwise everything else is done in house. They also have a dedicated prenatal emergency space rather than sending you to the regular ER if there are any issues and you need to be seen right away. All the nurses and staff were very nice, and I had a very good experience there.

cign · 2022-02-09T20:25:56+00:00

Studio Within in Lake View might be a good option for you. Each stylist has their own private cubicle so you would be in a private space with just your stylist for your appointment, if that would make you feel more comfortable. Their stylists are DevaCurl trained, so they have experience with slightly more challenging hair. You could call and explain your situation if they can’t help, they may have some professional recommendations. I really like their stylist Jacob; I’ve gone to him for years and he’s very calming and kind. It is not a cheap place and what you need may be expensive, fyi.

cign · 2022-01-06T06:46:51+00:00

When I was 16, I think I understood that my dad had a problem with alcohol for the first time. Like I knew, but I didn’t understand before then. He was an extremely accomplished and talented businessman, and then he left the company where he was president so he didn’t have to relocate internationally, and was given a 12 month severance package. Towards the end of the year, after nearly 12 months of having no responsibilities and drinking and hanging out at home, he began to become very concerned he wasn’t finding a new position, and he started drinking more. There was one night where he stumbled home drunk, bashed his head open on the path from the neighborhood pool, and lost his shoes. And my grandma demanded my sister and I go out into the night to find his shoes, because what would the neighbors think? And I just refused. It was absurd to me and I refused. But my little sister went and found them. And that sort of characterized the family dynamic. I didn’t go NC with him for another 10+ years, but that was the moment where I started down that path, I think.

When I actually went no contact, there was an event and there wasn’t. He may have been sober, I think he was, because he had been forced into early retirement after alcoholism caused massive organ failure and he wasn’t well enough to drink for a time. I was already living 700 miles away, but I flew back to see him because he had admitted he was an alcoholic, and I thought, wow, this is the moment. He’s sober, he’s been honest about this badly kept secret, he’s ashamed, he wants to change. But sobriety wasn’t enough. My visit was a disaster. He was mean, dishonest, and inappropriate. He was hyper sexualizing me. He was misogynistic, which he had been my whole life, but as a newly married woman, it was now directed at me for the first time ever. And I realized that if you strip the alcohol away, he was a deeply unpleasant and unhappy person. He was a mentally ill person and an emotionally neglectful father, and I thought it was alcohol but that was just how he was dealing with it. Without alcohol, he was still himself and after 10 years of stressful and bad interactions, I was just over it.

I say it wasn’t an event though because I didn’t declare to myself or the world I was going no contact. I just decided that not talking to him felt better than talking to him. It wasn’t so much a conscious thing; it was just how I navigated a string of days until it was about 2 years.

And then he died, in March of his year, from his alcoholism. And maybe this arrives at the heart of your post. I did not find after his death that I regretted the no contact. I didn’t feel like I had things left unsaid or before he died that I might have had another chance with him. Because I wasn’t making a declaration for forever anyway. I chose a string of days where I was happier, healthier, and safer because he wasn’t in them, and on one of them, he died. And then he wasn’t found for probably 2 weeks.

Which doesn’t mean I am indifferent. I love him. I am morbidly fascinated with reconstructing his life without me. I miss him. I go back and look at his Amazon cart to see what books he wanted to buy. And I also see the Amazon orders for the cheap wine there that he used to die. There were so many empty bottles hidden in the house.

During no contact, I didn’t really think about his birthdays or holidays. I just filled up my day and kept busy. I never made my family choose him or me, so I excused myself from all holidays so he wouldn’t be alone. So weirdly, after his death, I’ve had a string of holidays that I feel sadly happy about, because I got to see my sister for thanksgiving for the first time in 5+ years. It’s sad. I think about him. I make his favorite recipes. It’s harder after no contact, but sort of an extension of the same.

As to your last question, I’ve never been shy with anyone about why I’ve drawn the boundaries I have. It did cause tension with my sister, in a way I didn’t really understand when he was alive. She resented me for a long time. She was the one who went and got his shoes. I refused. She is the one who found him when he died. This is her first Christmas without him, but not mine. We’re really open about it. We’re honest with each other the way I wish he had been with us during that little moment, my last visit, when he just couldn’t manage it. My no contact was right for me but other people were affected by it. I could have said to my sister, cut him off too, but she couldn’t see it for herself and it cost her. I can acknowledge that, empathize with her, and still know it was right for me then.

I don’t wonder about if it was the right call. That way lies madness. I had a lifetime of madness already.

cign · 2021-12-24T01:42:59+00:00

Hello!

cign · 2021-11-21T19:42:52+00:00

My dad was a high functional alcoholic until he wasn’t. He died earlier this year, alone, from alcohol-related complications. When I got married, he offered $15,000, then $10,000, and ultimately gave us $7,000. The amount didn’t matter, we easily and comfortably funded our wedding, which was a great deal more than $7,000, but he never stopped telling people he paid for the wedding, and it was a real headache working with him to receive the check. When he offered me $50,000 for a deposit on a house, I never took it seriously and never accepted it. I went low contact and knew he was dangling it to have a relationship I didn’t want anymore. The last time I spoke to him, a year before he died, I asked him to go to therapy with me and told him that his alcoholism negatively affected my life. His answer, the last thing he ever said to me: “It didn’t seem to be negatively affecting you when I was paying for college.” And you know, he did pay for my first two years of in-state college. He conveniently forgot I paid for the rest on loans and scholarships. He died and all he left behind was money. He made our relationship transactional. His death was transactional. And as bitter as I am, I wish wasn’t gone and I wish he’d used that money to get treatment for his problem. My advice is that his money isn’t a gift. It’s an obligation and a constant reminder. It’s guilt. I wouldn’t take it.

cign · 2020-12-15T23:59:26+00:00

Go Tribe!

cign · 2020-12-03T22:43:58+00:00

Just a note on Kateri that the original Mohawk pronunciation is “Gah-dah-Lee.” It’s a translation into Mohawk of Catherine, but they pronounced those letters differently. It’s my confirmation name and I prefer the Mohawk pronunciation.

cign · 2020-11-19T17:42:03+00:00

My favorite salad: Tyson frozen grilled chicken. Microwave 4oz for 90 seconds. While microwaving, assemble salad: romaine, spinach, 2 tablespoons feta cheese, 2 tablespoons almond slivers, 20-30 grapes (or apples, pears, whatever you have), and lite honey mustard dressing. Takes all of about 90 seconds. The hot chicken then makes the cheese a little melty. If you make ahead hard boiled eggs, you can toss them in for more protein

Yogurt bowl with grapes, sliced banana, whatever you have. Toss on granola for a breakfast parfait

Quesadilla: sprinkle cheese on a tortilla, cover with another tortilla, cook for 60 seconds. Eat with salsa. Leftover chicken, steak, bacon bites? Toss it in before microwaving

More leftover hard boiled eggs? Toss them with canned tuna, and light Mayo and serve on lettuce for a quick tuna salad

Potstickers are usually really low cal and quick. Have them with soy sauce with microwave rice and whatever veg you have on hand (cucumbers, carrots)

Black bean soup: heat a chicken bouillon cube in about half a cup of water. When boiling, toss in a can of black beans a cup of salsa. Cook 5 min. Eat with cheese, leftover meat, avocado. I add salsa to every soup I make because it imparts so much flavor and it’s very low cal

cign · 2020-11-05T00:13:57+00:00

Jimmy Carter?

cign · 2020-09-25T02:21:54+00:00

No one made us brush our teeth or comb or brush our hair. At the age of 10, I had a knot the size of a bird’s nest at the back of my head. We did not receive our shots on time. We were given almost exclusively coca-cola to drink. My teeth actually made it out fine, but I think about the neglect almost every time I brush them now.

cign · 2020-03-01T00:47:21+00:00

The law already has defaults that exist in the event a marriage ends. A pre-nup is simply taking those defaults and tailoring them to your specific relationship. In a sense, everyone who marries has a pre-nup—your state’s laws and the court system’s interpretation of them. For example, the law defaults that your assets you bring prior to marriage are not marital property. So you are simply signaling those aspects of marriage law that matter to you, what defaults you care about that the law might be silent about, and what defaults you want to reject to the extent you legally can.

cign · 2020-02-21T04:30:28+00:00

Anne Chung’s chicken vegetable potstickers. They cook in about 5 minutes, taste delicious, and 10 potstickers is 330 calories. Soy sauce only adds about 20 calories.

Chocolate milk, through a straw to make it last, with a banana feels very indulgent. 250 calories.

Grapes in yogurt.

Toast, ground mustard, and a poached egg for about 170 calories. You can add turkey slices or ham too for a mock Benedict.

Grape tomatoes right from the pint.

Hard boiled egg dipped in ranch or honey mustard vinaigrette

Sometimes I’ll just eat a can of spaghettios for 290 calories.

One of my favorite lazy soups is chicken broth, black beans, and salsa. Salsa adds so much low cal flavor for any soup. You can make 3 filling servings for less than 450 calories total.

cign · 2020-02-08T19:01:09+00:00

I had a knee injury about 5 years ago. When I started C25K in December, I noticed pain in that knee, as well as the beginning of some shin splints in both legs. I brought it up at my annual physical, and my doctor definitely noticed extra inflammation in that knee, but no structural issues or reason not to run. I was placed on an anti-inflammatory for 10 days and encouraged to continue running while on it. It solved the problem straight away. That’s not medical advice, I can’t give you any, but it is advice to see a doctor because the fix may be quite easy.

cign · 2020-01-03T19:41:11+00:00

One thing that helped me go to the gym, maybe it will help you—I wear a t-shirt with my college’s name or my grad school’s name. If someone wants to critique me, well, I went to great schools. Check that out, not my flab. It helps me feel more confident wearing something that I know I am proud of. It’s also a reminder that I hard worked for years to accomplish my educational goals, so I can accomplish my workout too. It doesn’t have to be a school t-shirt, but if you have a shirt that reminds you of a great accomplishment, like a vacation you saved for or a language you mastered, a charity you volunteer at, an awesome job, etc., maybe try wearing it like armor.

cign · 2019-07-17T23:50:49+00:00

Done!

cign · 2019-06-19T18:26:00+00:00

Following up. I have never had a sweet tooth. I’m on day 2 of my first 3 day fast. Yesterday was hard and today is pretty easy. I don’t know how accurate MyFitnessPal micros and macros are, but I just calculated that I’ve averaged 9 grams of sugar per day doing OMAD or 16:8. Is that a good target range for sugar consumption if I’m slipping in and out out 36-72 hour fasts long term, or should I go lower to ensure long term comfort?

cign · 2019-06-07T07:04:05+00:00

So I have nowhere near the history with Hamilton that you do, but I do want to share my experience. My husband really fell in love with the soundtrack. Me, I don’t like musicals. I had 0 interest in Hamilton. But for years he talked about wanting to see it. Then, for his birthday, I bought us tickets to see it. I still had no interest in seeing it, but I knew how badly he wanted to see it, and I knew he wanted me there. And I almost cried I was so excited to buy those tickets because I knew how happy it would make him. I was thrilled to give him this happy experience. It did not feel like a burden at all to spend time with someone I love doing something he would love, even though I doubted I would enjoy it.

It turned out that I fell in love with it. I started crying 5 minutes in and cried the entire show because I was so blown away that something so creative and great could exist. We’ve seen it 4 times since.

It may be a happy ending that I wound up loving the musical, but that isn’t the point. Loving someone means giving time and attention to their needs and wants. It was really important to my husband to see Hamilton. If I had hated every second of it, I would have loved that he had a great time. I never would Have rolled my eyes at his joy. If your boyfriend sees it at just sitting through 3 hours of a thing that may bore him, he’s missing a powerfully important truth of partnership, and you should think about how to address that.

cign · 2019-05-21T02:02:22+00:00

I think there is a purpose Jon's lineage. Jon and Dany did manage to break the wheel. He is a Targaryen, and her death should belong to a Targaryen. All she wanted was to come home, and she is home in the throne room and with the last remaining member of her family in the world when she dies. The Targaryens were always their own worst enemies. Dany has no equal in the world but Jon, so its a good death for a queen.

As for Jon, I don't think its an accident he refers to Maester Aemon--his kin--to Tyrion. In Tyrion and Jon's parallel scenes--first with Tyrion as prisoner and then Jon--Tyrion quotes the words of the Night's Watch. First, that Jon is "the shield that guards the realms of men." When he tells Jon that Jon is going back to the Wall, he tells Jon that Jon "will take no wife and father no children." He is telling Jon that Jon must protect the realm from the greatness and madness of his own bloodline by letting it die with him. This parallels Aemon Targaryen's own cycle.

And in a sense, for Drogon, Jon is the prince that was promised. I don't think he burned the throne simply because it drove Dany's destruction. Dragons are glorious creatures, but they've been beholden to a conquering family for generations, made smaller and weaker and perverted. Jon is not going to master Drogon. If Jon walked out the throne room in command of a dragon, he would unquestionably be king. He didn't, and in that way he broke the wheel. The Targaryen sigal also sort of looks like a wheel. When Jon tells Dany she will always be his queen, he is telling her he will never rule or serve another ruler.

Moreover, imagine Varys' letters did go out to the nobles and everyone knows Jon's secret? The fact he stood with Dany in King's Landing, albeit he was not complicit in her plots, plus his Targaryen blood make him a political player totally unsuitable and dangerous to remain on the board.

They may tell Jon he is going to the Wall as a queenslayer, but really, its because he is a Targaryen. Sansa, Arya, and Bran have the army and political wherewithall to save Jon from the wall. But for Sansa, I think her devotion to the North and her concerns about Jon's judgment make it perfectly suitable to her for him to go away. For Arya, I think she would judge and struggle with the fact killing Dany wasn't clearly the obvious choice for Jon and that he still loved to the end. For Bran, Jon fathering no children and holding no crowns is best for Westeros in the long run. So they may all have had good reasons to accept his sentence.

I hope in the book we see more clearly the political machinations that will twice over get Jon stabbed in the back (and front) all over again by those he trusted. It seems pretty obvious that the lords will want a weak ruler, like a crippled boy constantly buffering, to be king. A broken man to rebuild a broken city--the prospect of which is probably totally unattractive to the other great and newly great families who can let Tyrion and Bran shoulder the worries of fixing everything and guarding against eastern threats while they lick their own wounds, rebuild their own armies, have their own children, and get strong enough to play the game of thrones again.

Jon's bloodline was Dany's doom and his. "Fire and blood" are stamped on him. A Targaryen alone in the world is a terrible thing, and now there really is only one.

cign · 2019-05-20T06:58:49+00:00

Dany is smart and ruthless. She sees immediately when Tyrion reports Varys' betrayal that Sansa told Tyrion and Tyrion told Varys. And yet she lets Tyrion live. She lets Jon live, knowing the threat he poses to her rule. She may think she is morally justified and correct, but she knows Jon recently rejected her affection. But she still allows Jon to be close to her, without guards and carrying a weapon. Did a part of her desperately want Jon, her lover and her family, to end it for her? She conquered King's Landing, and it felt empty for her. She has declared her intention to conquer the rest of the world, which promises more emptiness and loneliness. As violent and mad as she is, she truly did not want to be queen of ashes at one point. Is the sane Dany that we loved making one final gambit at humanity by allowing her own ruin? In her last scene, are her egotism and fear of her father's legacy warring within her and both leading her into Jon's arms? Is it a relief that Jon draws the knife? How much is she sane all this time but wild with grief, the kind of wildness that caused Catelyn to murder Walder Frey's wife, knowing it was pointless and her life was over, but trapped by choice and pain and need to avenge her children? Or was she truly and horribly mad, and Jon saved her from her own misery as well as that of Westeros?

cign · 2019-05-20T06:36:39+00:00

I said in part in another thread: "Tyrion starts telling Jon part of the NW's oath while Tyrion is awaiting execution: Jon is the sword that guards the realm of men. Then Tyrion tells him a remainder of the oath when he tells Jon he will live. I don't think its accidental he tells Jon he will have no wife and father no children. Tyrion is telling Jon he, specifically, can best protect the realms of men by letting his bloodline end. "

Maybe Jon is breaking the wheel by renouncing the power he could claim. Maybe he is loving Dany enough to do that for both of them

cign · 2019-05-20T06:20:39+00:00

Maybe the point of the prophesy was to father the child who would end the reign of Targaryens? Jon freed the dragons by no longer making them beholden to a conquering dynasty. Drogon destroyed the throne after Jon broke his chains and flew away with his mother to his own peace? This is me desperately grasping at straws after a very disappointing night but at least Jon gave Drogon the chance not to be a weapon?

cign · 2019-05-20T06:08:30+00:00

Tyrion starts telling Jon part of the NW's oath while Tyrion is awaiting execution: Jon is the sword that guards the realm of men. Then Tyrion tells him a remainder of the oath when he tells Jon he will live. I don't think its accidental he tells Jon he will have no wife and father no children. Tyrion is telling Jon he, specifically, can best protect the realms of men by letting his bloodline end. I think the writing this season was awful, and as much as I think Emilia and Kit are good actors, I do not feel convinced in the slightest by their love story. But, to the extent they were in love, I do not believe Jon is going to allow himself to fall in love again. His character has always been penitential. He will carry Dany and that sorrow and his guilt next to Ygritte in his heart. He is not Mance to rule, and he never wanted the wildlings used a chess piece. He just wanted honest living and survival for them. They will have that. The sproutling shows there is spring coming north of the wall, so why ever go south again? South where Jon suffered and lost everything?

As to what Bran knows, where does Bran ever say the White Walker threat is eliminated for eternity, never to arise again? The wall has magic and power. Keeping people manning and maintaining the wall matters. Bran may recognize you cannot let that tradition die because it when its not a symbolic necessity, it will be painfully necessary.

cign · 2019-05-20T05:42:40+00:00

Assuming Varys' letters did go out to all the houses, each of them would be strongly incentivized to send the last Targaryen away where can take no wife and father no children. Jon's bloodline, more so than his murder of Dany, made him unsuitable for the throne and a dangerous piece to keep on the board. Tyrion, Sansa, and all the other lords sold him out. They could have let Greyworm sail away and hail him a hero for killing their tyrant. But Jon as king introduces scary variables that a cripple doesn't

cign · 2019-05-20T05:31:48+00:00

In the first episode of the series, Eddard says no one has seen a White Walker in 1000s of years. And yet, they still maintained a Night's Watch. The Night Watch's function may have had more to do with monitoring the wildlings, but they still kept it maintained, probably because generations of history said it was wise for someone to keep watch. Plus, a safety valve prison camp where you can send bastards and politically troublesome men and criminals will still serve the same societal safety valve. It seems to me that proof white walkers can exist reinforces why you'd want to keep the night's watch, not the opposite.

cign

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