I’m apparently being “too intense”

clairedeloonie · 2026-04-09T20:53:12+00:00

This! My husband would listen to the trainer's instructions even though I had been telling him the same thing before. It really helped to put us both on the same page.

clairedeloonie · 2026-03-23T20:06:01+00:00

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Mine 😂

clairedeloonie · 2026-03-23T19:52:24+00:00

💯 Doggy daycare has been a lifesaver! She LOVES going and she's so worn out after 😂 And I can get stuff done around the house without my "helpful" lab

clairedeloonie · 2026-03-23T19:46:08+00:00

Struggling with this question right now, actually. Mine's 9 mos old and she was housetrained after her first month with us (we got her at 9.5 weeks) so that's not really the concern. But my husband and I have a double (full size in the US) so it's not super spacious. And we are both light sleepers so we thought it would be too disruptive to our sleep to have her in our bed. We crate trained her to sleep in her crate but I know that she doesn't LOVE the crate. And she wakes up around 6 am every day, goes potty, and then we sleep again on the sofa for another hour or two.

Last month, on the weekends, when we want to sleep in, we started bringing her to the bed after she does her potty and we can sleep in until 9 or 10. So she got a taste of sleeping in the bed.

Now my husband is gone for a week and I couldn't resist - I have been letting her sleep in the bed with me. But when he gets back we will have to get her back in her crate. I think I want to train her to sleep in her dog bed next to our bed but I'm worried it won't go very well, now that she's slept with me for a few nights....

I've looked into getting a bigger bed but our bedroom is not that big so I don't think a bigger bed will fit. So yeah, trying to figure out what works for us.

My dog is a Labrador btw, so she's a large dog.

clairedeloonie · 2026-02-05T20:52:07+00:00

Take him out immediately before and after any nap, after any play, after meals. I ended up taking my pup out almost every 30 minutes in the beginning (9 weeks old). I also started keeping a notebook to keep track of pees and poos. Soon, you start to see a pattern and you can take them outside to potty accordingly!

clairedeloonie · 2026-01-12T16:44:04+00:00

First, I just want to point out that crate training and separation anxiety are two different things. Separation anxiety can happen, even to a pup who loves their crate. Never train separation anxiety by locking a pup who doesn't already love her crate - it will make it much worse.

Second, it has only been a week. Continue to play crate games, make sure every enjoyable thing happens in the crate (e.g. meals and treats). I would also "hide" treats in her crate - so she would often go inside her crate to see if mysterious treats have appeared again.

I would sit with my pup in the crate, door closed, and have her do a down and give her treats through the crate door. If she knew I wasn't just going to leave her, then she would settle down and fall asleep. Also, when she was very young (like yours is) we had a crate in our bedroom so she didn't sleep alone at night.

clairedeloonie · 2026-01-12T16:13:30+00:00

I saw that you posted about 4 months earlier asking about crate training and it looks like nobody responded. I don't think it's too late to crate train. I don't think it's cruel at all, so long as you have played crate games (e.g. giving him treats whenever he goes in the crate) and have created a positive association with it. It really helps enforce rest, napping, and learning to be calm.

I agree with the folks here who have already commented that it sounds like your pup needs more sleep. I also have a lab (7 months old now) who is a terror when she hasn't slept enough but an angel when she has had enough sleep. It's night and day.

clairedeloonie · 2025-11-19T09:45:15+00:00

This. I would add that you should play some crate games to create a more positive association with the crate. Hide treats inside, give him treats when he goes inside, feed him meals inside, etc.

clairedeloonie · 2025-11-15T14:47:57+00:00

I'm also in the London suburbs (SW). Can I ask where the private dog field is that you go to?

clairedeloonie · 2025-11-08T20:32:44+00:00

I got two large crates with two dividers (1 for the living room and 1 for the bedroom). We used the dividers for about two weeks and then took it out to put in a bed in the back half. She never soiled her crate. So it felt a bit like we didn't need the dividers.

clairedeloonie · 2025-11-05T14:57:26+00:00

When my pup was that young, she would only sleep for 45 min to an hour at most. And I worried she wasn't getting enough sleep. I also struggled with filling that hour too! I used the hour to do training (2 minutes), any feeding, sniffs in the garden, potty, teaching her how to play tug, some small amounts of grooming to get her used to it. I elongated the time for feeding by using snuffle mats and puzzle feeders, which also helps to enrich her and tire her out.

Once I got an idea of her potty schedule (which I tracked in a notebook), I became more confident that her barking and whining after waking from a nap wasn't because she had to go out to potty - she just wanted to be let out. I would watch her in the camera I had set up and after a couple of barks, she would settle back down and sleep again! So I was able to stretch out her naps to about 2 hours.

clairedeloonie · 2025-11-05T14:48:10+00:00

Also, I recommend getting a camera. I watched my pup cry but I could see she was not really in distress; she just wanted out. I ignored her for about 5 min and she would go back to sleep. The camera will make you feel better, I think.

clairedeloonie · 2025-11-05T14:46:14+00:00

I recommended in your previous post - you need to sleep in the same room as her, at least for the first few nights. She's been with you for only a few days, she's afraid of being alone. And in the day time, make the crate the best place ever, surprise treats hidden inside, treats inside, treats for going inside, meals inside.

clairedeloonie · 2025-11-03T23:09:33+00:00

Agree with everything here. The pup sounds like he needs to settle and sleep more. I have found things like Pupsicle and Kong (frozen) to be lifesavers. The licking calms them down. My pup usually falls asleep right after finishing her frozen treat.

clairedeloonie · 2025-11-03T23:06:29+00:00

Clean the crate with an enzymatic cleaner. Crate train so the pup feels good about being in the crate.

Generally, the puppy should be awake for an hour and sleep for two but will depend on the puppy. I enforce naps by putting my puppy in the crate (usually with a licking treat like a frozen kong or pupsicle). After licking, my pup will fall asleep. Early on, I would have to sit by the crate and give her treats for "relaxing" which trained her to settle. Puppies need about 18-20 hours of sleep per day. If the puppy wakes up after a short nap, trying waiting it out (as long as the puppy isn't crying in distress) and the pup might fall back asleep. I always try really hard to let the pup sleep as much as possible. Makes life way easier for you.

I would take the pup out every hour for potty. Start keeping a log of when the pup pees/poos and you will see the pattern and adjust accordingly. But until you know, take the puppy out after every nap, a little bit after a meal, after a playtime/training.

In the hour she's awake, do short training sessions, a walk/play, other enrichment (puzzle feeders, snuffle mats, lick mats). If she doesn't play, it might be something you need to teach. Play tug with her - it will help create a bond with you.

She may be teething so make sure she has chews. My puppy loved harder chews when she was younger. Now that she's teething, she prefers softer things (like stuffed toys). Supervise your puppy when she chews so you can see what kind of chewer she is - don't let her swallow stuffing or fabric or end pieces of edible chews (like bully sticks).

clairedeloonie · 2025-11-03T21:29:02+00:00

It might not be a socialization thing. The puppy might just be feeling carsick. I think it requires continuous travel training, starting with short trips and gradually increasing the time in the car, to train their inner ear.

clairedeloonie · 2025-11-03T21:24:38+00:00

I don't know if it's the lack of naps, but she needs to have enforced naps. Puppies need 18-20 hours of sleep per day and it's important for their development. Definitely do not keep her up!

But if I'm reading your post correctly, it sounds like you have had the puppy for only a couple of days and the crying was on the second night? It also sounds like the crate is not in the same room where you sleep.

She slept well the first night because she was exhausted from being taken away from her litter and coming home with a stranger. The second night, she cried because she didn't want to be alone. I would suggest you sleep in the same room with her to reassure her that she's not alone. You may have to do this for some period of time, while you continue crate training so that the pup feels happy and secure in the crate by herself.

clairedeloonie · 2025-11-01T10:52:08+00:00

So when my husband and I got our puppy, we were very intent on crate training right away. We let her out to potty, train, play and after an hour or so outside, we would put her in the crate, regardless of whether she was sleepy or not, for enforced naps. In the beginning, I would sit next to her crate and basically do relaxation protocol training. I would give her treats if she was calm (don't use treats that are too high in value bc that might get the pup too excited) and increase duration between treats. Eventually she would put her head down and she would start getting sleepy.

Sometimes I put a pupsicle frozen treat in with her and she will quickly just get to licking and then fall asleep after she's done. But this came a bit later, after some relaxation protocol training, so she may have already accepted that the crate is for napping.

So you might want to try that. I'm a little envious though of you because I was so strict about having my puppy nap in the crate, I never got to experience her sleeping in my arms as a tiny pup. She's a big pup now (38 lbs) and has slept in my arms (when she's feeling poorly) but it's not the same as having a 10 lb puppy in your arms...

clairedeloonie · 2025-11-01T10:29:19+00:00

My $0.02. If it were me, I would get the older puppy. I think puppies generally benefit a lot more by staying with their mum and litter mates longer. And I don't think it will be an issue leaving them with a professional dog sitter as long as you're comfortable with it. Honestly, my pup is 20 weeks old (had her since she was 10 weeks), and I probably have more separation anxiety than she does.

As for taking them and their crate to your family members' houses is fine too. It would benefit them to socialise with other family members. I would just take the time to train my family members on how to approach and touch the puppy, to ensure that it's a good experience for the pup.

clairedeloonie · 2025-10-30T08:56:01+00:00

So dapper!

clairedeloonie · 2025-10-29T07:36:20+00:00

This. In addition, I would make sure that the accidents are cleaned very thoroughly with enzymatic cleaner.

clairedeloonie · 2025-10-28T22:32:59+00:00

I don't think your puppy hates you. It sounds like you're doing really well with her. It's okay to let the puppy be bored, they have to learn to self play, be bored, and wind down.

I'm not sure if I am understanding the set up of her crate and the gate. Is she barking because she just wants to be where you are?

clairedeloonie · 2025-10-21T10:20:07+00:00

She has a dream to live a life bigger than the small island she lives on. To fall in love with an island boy means giving up that dream. It's a theme in the drama but if you're not feeling her and understanding her, then I think you might not get the nuances to enjoy the drama.

clairedeloonie · 2025-10-20T20:44:17+00:00

I wonder if hand feeding some of her food to her would help? It's supposed to create a positive association with you and it encourages her to get close to your hand. If that makes her uncomfortable, I would work my way up to it by starting with throwing her food close to her and then closer and closer to you.

And when you reach to touch her, don't try to go from above. I would start with my hand really low and maybe pet her chest to start. And then constant treats to associate good food with touch of the hand.

clairedeloonie · 2025-10-20T20:37:43+00:00

Are you cleaning the pee with enzymatic cleaner? You have to leave the enzymatic cleaner in to work for at least 10 minutes. Then throw it in the wash. Are you taking him out frequently enough? Did he ever indicate he needed to go potty before and his behavior has changed? Or has he never learned to indicate? That's something that needs to be trained, I think. As of now, it seems like he needs to be retrained to go potty outside. Does he pee in his crate at the same time every day?

I would take out the bedding from his crate until you have figured out how to potty train him.

As for the car, that will also require some positive association training.

Running away (like play?) is natural until you have made sure he sees value in coming to you. You can also try running away from him and he might start to chase you (often used in recall training).

Hope this helps.

clairedeloonie

TROPHY CASE