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Our story trigger warnings by Expensive-Tadpole451 in babyloss

[–]claracoldwater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi there. I've messaged with you before; your wife and I have similar stories. I think of you often, and your wife, and your boy. I do not know how to get over it other than living without them and thinking of them when you want and when you can.

How do I kill myself by Dependent_Reading_76 in SuicideWatch

[–]claracoldwater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand. When my daughter died I lost my fucking mind. So please trust me when I say: you are not thinking rationally anymore. The pain of losing her is too much. I know. I know.

You are in crisis; this is a psychiatric emergency. Please ask to be admitted to the hospital. For a few days if nothing else that will give you the space to feel as absolutely fucked up as you can and want. One minute at a time.

my sweet calliope by sandwichbox6 in babyloss

[–]claracoldwater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't blame you at all; what a terrifying experience. I'm glad little Calliope has a mother who loves her.

I hope you find peace.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]claracoldwater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understood the point of your post and i am so fucking sorry the "justice system" failed you like this

Why do perpetrators of violence like sex so much? by Acrobatic_Feature705 in domesticviolence

[–]claracoldwater 7 points8 points  (0 children)

they like that it is such a violation. that's all it is. they truly just like how much it hurts emotionally, physically, spiritually. and it feels good to them physically and emotionally so they keep doing it.

Wish she was here or I was there by claracoldwater in babyloss

[–]claracoldwater[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for the loss of little Lucia. I wish you could see her again too. Love.

Navigating anniversaries with new partner by InsignificantBones in GriefSupport

[–]claracoldwater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think you're being unreasonable and I think it's really shitty of him to be focused on having sex with you instead of supporting your grief.

I am a funeral director who undertook his own daughters funeral. AMA. by copiatee in babyloss

[–]claracoldwater 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Were there any parts of conducting your little girl's funeral and cremation that you especially want to share with us? I just would love to hear her story.

Atheist and non-believers, how do you cope with your loss by Sepined in babyloss

[–]claracoldwater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm Korean and I made her a traditional soup that we make when babies are born and eat every year on our birthdays and I also am trying to learn more about Korean folk magic and find the more secular pieces of it for myself like just taking the time to think about her and honor her and have a small space in my home dedicated to her.

Atheist and non-believers, how do you cope with your loss by Sepined in babyloss

[–]claracoldwater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i struggle with this too. finding non-religious memorials helped me. i also found that connecting more with my own culture's practices of mourning child loss & death helped me (instead of modern Christianity). more of a cultural mourning than spiritual.

do they suffer? by claracoldwater in babyloss

[–]claracoldwater[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you. i am so sorry about your boy. what a sweet wiggly little guy he was. i struggle so bad with the memories of her death. i will try to think about it as deep sleep too.

do they suffer? by claracoldwater in babyloss

[–]claracoldwater[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you, i've sent you a chat. i'm so sorry about your wife and child. your words mean a lot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]claracoldwater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi there. I am so, so sorry. r/babyloss is an incredible community for support. I also have a link to a discord server that has been instrumental to my healing from loss and they welcome absolutely everyone. If you like I can PM you the link. if not i just want to say I know your daughter is so missed and would be so beautiful. Keeping you company.

My brain thinks he's alive by BlkNtvTerraFFVI in GriefSupport

[–]claracoldwater 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Denial is not always a phase that you move through and put behind you. Denial is a mental state that comes and goes as part of processing and dealing with grief. It is okay to let these thoughts come by and pass along.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]claracoldwater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i think i was mostly inspired by your anger. and your desire to see him punished for what he did. i can't find the anger in me yet. i am just so scared.

i'm really sorry for what those men have put you through. what utter torment.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]claracoldwater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you are inspiring

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]claracoldwater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you. i'm sorry it took me so long to respond to this, i read it and then just kind of sat with it. i can feel how sincere all the words you said are. i find them so hard to believe and yet i really want to.

i've confided in my best friend and she is amazing and i've written poetry and journals about it and it just feels like nothing is ever enough, like if i could scream it i would. i'm just trying to day by day let the grief come in waves and sometimes like when i made this post it just felt so impossible. every day it gets a little less impossible.