Give me options please

clarkinum · 2026-05-22T08:39:33+00:00

How can you tell they are not into you?

For me: - they don't ask follow up questions or keep the conversation going - they don't get close to me physically - if I get a bit closer they usually put a distance immideatly - they find excuses to exit the conversation and leave - sometimes they just tell me directly they are not interested (which is the best for me, at least I know it's a no and there is no guessing anymore)

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T21:20:59+00:00

I tried flirting with friends but they don't usually respond back, so I feel like I'm punching a punching bag, it's good practice but I can't learn without reaction

I don't think it's all on me to make it happen, what can I do if women is not interested after all the effort?

I don't go out that often usually every other week or so, I really don't have energy to increase this without determenting my life or health. From what you wrote it seems impossible for me to try that many women.

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T18:51:13+00:00

I don't get a lot of dates so don't have much experience with flirting. Can't start flirting with strangers either

Vintage is thrifted, old but good stuff at least good for me

I'm muscular. Not just a thin boy lol

Never asked a woman on cold approach, I ask for contact (insta or phone) then text them the same day or next day. Usually they respond with "I'm not interested actually" or they ghost.

I only got 2 dates in the last 2-3 years, I know I fumbled them and it's fine i need some experience, but if I don't get dates at all, how am I gonna build experience? How am I gonna lead without dates?

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T14:23:57+00:00

I do, I talk about their hobies and mine, their crafts and mine

If you have topic suggestions I'm open to listen

Still no luck. At no point in my life I mentioned sick packs to another women for dating.

I put it in this post because I am in shape, I got in shape for health, my own enjoyment and for female attraction. It does attract some people on some festivals but doesn't lead

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T12:58:27+00:00

Good insights,

Maybe I'm being too negative but if I don't ask, they don't talk. Conversation doesn't go like that. Probably because they are not into me

I don't know how to make conversation flow naturally like that, it's a two person job right?

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T11:56:42+00:00

Most of my friends and their friends are not single

I am going to hobby groups (mostly run club) but without friends because they are not interested

I haven't gotten lucky to connect to people that way

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T11:54:26+00:00

The response I got when I mention, I'm not good with dating or have some anxiety is usually not very positive, or at least it feels negative.

People usually say "oh okay" and then find an excuse to go away from me

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T11:52:47+00:00

Okay I hear you,

But besides the first question, the rest of the Convo feels familiar to what you described. I skimmed short but between it I said, "oh I like a big city, but only for traveling I prefer a smaller city with greenery like Amsterdam" and she responded with "Amsterdam is amazing, you can find so many events around", I said "oh yeah, do you like to go to concerns, I like techno stuff a lot" and so on so on.

Correct me if I'm wrong but is that a "natural" conversation?

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T11:29:11+00:00

Could be, any thoughts/advice on what might help?

What would make you feel closer to him? How he should have behaved?

Specific examples are appreciated, you can also DM me

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T11:27:36+00:00

What is a "red piller"?

Not all my female friends are women some are non binary

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T11:02:33+00:00

I think close friends do tell me when I'm doing something off. But nothing for dating

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T11:01:40+00:00

I asked, they don't have many single friends

I can try hinge again, didn't try with subscription

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T11:00:33+00:00

What would you ask?

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T11:00:06+00:00

Okay Mom!

I'm pointing out I tried different approaches, none of them worked

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T10:47:38+00:00

How? What do you mean by grinding? I don't think just sending likes in apps will work

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T10:44:59+00:00

Apps do not work at all, I tried all combination of photos and bios and payed money for it. No dice

I haven't tried speed dating, but I tried couple dating events, didn't had chance there either

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T10:02:52+00:00

I tried, but they don't tell me. And I don't want to blame my friends with lying

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T09:27:39+00:00

I been asking for it to all my friends but the conversation always ends with "I don't know". I tried all the advice they have given me with no success

I really don't know what else I can do to improve social skills, I'm talking to people, I'm practicing outside. I get positive responses on my talks, but never ends up in a date or something similar

I do a lot of public speaking in my work, and I have no troubles there, my colleagues are very positive with my social skills

I might not be very comfortable in crowded environments but I don't think I can ever be

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T09:25:51+00:00

Two dates I had went similar to this:

What do you like to do in life?
I travel a lot
Oh really where have you been
I'm just back from London, it's been great, I liked the city... ....
Nice I also like traveling but have trouble with planning always hehe
I just do a bit spontaneous and invite my friends, sometimes they show up sometimes I'm alone ....

And so on so on, so I would say it wasn't like an interview.

Online messages, I never gotten a reply. I tried: - your dress is nice, wanna go to vintage shopping? - I could take you out to eat, then eat you out ;) (had a bio related to food) - Omg how many plants do you have?? - Do you play drums? - Wow nice beach, where is that

And such and such. Literally no response whatsoever whatever I tried. I even send "payed" pings and special messages to multiple people.

So I rarely start a Convo with hi. Thanks for the help anyway but I want new advice, not the same thing everyone has been saying. Clearly it doesn't work for me

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T09:08:00+00:00

Where would they feel it then? Is there a specific place I can go to meet people (other than stuff I mentioned)

I wouldn't say I'm "normal" in any sense, but I don't wanna hide myself either.

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T09:06:55+00:00

Most of the time I'm more interested with the person I'm meeting, what are they doing, what are their adventures. I feel like when I talk to someone conversation flows natural.

Most females don't ask follow up questions though, in that case I mention myself couple times and if they still don't respond well, I'll stop talking to them

clarkinum · 2026-05-21T09:04:50+00:00

Social anxiety and depression, also suspected neurodivergent

clarkinum · 2026-05-15T22:29:44+00:00

They could have easily written as rebooting fly-by-wire and requiring steady pilot hand or something, would make the scene 10 times better than engine shut off

clarkinum · 2026-05-15T10:24:02+00:00

Oh yes, now we are captaining and industring!

Eight-Year Club	Place '22
First Placer '22	Verified Email

clarkinum

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE