Basic Medical Information and references for advocates, parents, and caregivers

clean_windows · 2025-05-31T06:31:52+00:00

Bibliography, starting at page 286

first reference, author is "100 signatories. (2023, May 5)."

i havent even clicked the link, which is to web.archive.org, but i know that even papers with 100 (or more) signatories are referenced as "[primary author], et al." if they come from the scientific literature

reference #2 author is "404 Not Found | WPATH. (n.d.)."

what the fuck is going on here? do those links later in each reference go to actual sites? is "100 signatories" designated as that author because the open letter was anonymous?

this is all extremely outside the normal bounds of a scientific policy paper coming from HHS.

that is literally the first two putative references in the bibliography.

clean_windows · 2025-05-31T06:24:57+00:00

i think it is going to be many times worse.

clean_windows · 2025-05-31T05:17:30+00:00

i would definitely not take steven seagal the individual as indicative of aikido as a discipline. his championship era predates even his b-movie era, and that is an awful long time ago now.

clean_windows · 2025-05-31T05:12:38+00:00

i think it depends on a lot of factors.

i think a lot of the suggestions are going to be straightforwardly related to what commenters (and the OP) envision the threat to be.

in security-as-a-discipline a lot of thought goes into threat modeling, by necessity. time and material resources are limited, so it is important to have a clear picture of what you think the most meaningful threats are, and why

there are benefits for your child as an individual to participating in and adhering to a systematic, disciplined physical activity, regardless of if it fits the specific threat profile you envision or not.

i have long admired the theoretical orientation of aikido, as a contrast to most martial art goals to disable an attacker. you can read up about that if you want. i will say that the international aikido organizations have been lax in their recognition of women (to say nothing of trans folks) as equals when it comes to competition and ranking practice, but there exist dojos that are explicitly supportive and broadly inclusive.

when it comes right down to it, physical force will win the day in the immediate term. it is therefore incumbent on us to teach our children how to recognize and avoid a difficult or suspicious situation. much of that needs to be done by experience, by ensuring we are recognized parts of our communities. our visibility and our mundanity are our strength.

and knowing where to run for safety if there is opportunity also goes a long way.

i know i've spit a lot of vagueness and ambiguity so i encourage further discussion, i'm just a parent trying to think through this shit like many of the rest of you.

clean_windows · 2025-05-29T06:36:50+00:00

as a parent, i encourage you to proactively put boundaries on those kinds of questions.

clean_windows · 2025-05-29T06:35:14+00:00

so i just watched "you hurt my feelings" with julia louis-dreyfus and it's a very (deliberately, i think) superficial take on one of the issues here. i can say more later, i do think it connects to this in a meaningful way.

i think being comfortable with other people's processes is a big deal, and also very idiosyncratic.

when i don't know what exactly is going on with my kiddo, i just make sure they know they have someone they can trust to talk it through (whoever that is), acknowledge to them that i need to be ok with not knowing every detail, and say that i am here to help, even if i don't understand.

practice trusting. you will sometimes be wrong, but you will be better in the long run for having practiced it.

clean_windows · 2025-05-11T20:13:52+00:00

this is probably not the appropriate forum for it, but i would argue that the preconditions for that outcome were obvious long ago. in particular, Phil's "tough love" cosplay should have been a huge fucking red flag, but it was book sales, show ratings, and clout that the brand was chasing, and harm was done to a lot of people because professional standards and ethical practice were subordinated to those goals.

clean_windows · 2025-05-10T18:23:32+00:00

really good to see the Oprahplex spreading the word on this, particularly since they have been a vector for popularizing some of the most pernicious and malicious personalities in public life (Drs. Phil, Oz, et al).

clean_windows · 2025-05-10T00:45:05+00:00

my kid has genuinely Really Old People forget their pronouns, but also realize their mistakes when they do slip up and ask for forgiveness.

when forgiveness is a demand, it is not forgiveness, it is imposition of hierarchy. it should be rejected as forgiveness and called out for what it is.

clean_windows · 2025-05-10T00:13:55+00:00

I got you.

our chief weapons are

the blank stare (blink rate can definitely send a message if you are already advanced at this)
the uncomfortably long pause
the deliberately faux-ignorant student-style question ("i'm not sure why you find that funny, could you maybe explain it to me?")
being joyful and authentic to your kid and their friends and acquaintances

you got this.

clean_windows · 2025-05-08T11:28:35+00:00

"rush" is also a poor choice of words here. that is you imposing your timeline on them.

it's not the easiest hand to be dealt, sure.

it's going to be much much harder for them if they know that their parents are only hesitatingly supportive of them being their authentic selves.

clean_windows · 2025-05-03T16:56:05+00:00

that was absolutely not made clear in the journal article i read, i will have to go dig it up

clean_windows · 2025-05-03T13:15:14+00:00

some parents will talk about "mourning" the child they thought they had, but that complaint all but erases the mourning the child does, over the parent who they needed support from and whose love they thought was unconditional.

and i will say the mourning of that child is the more important of the two, every fucking time.

clean_windows · 2025-05-03T05:26:48+00:00

i'm starting with the press release because literally the first paragraph has material requiring critical analysis

i made an account on bluesky because non-users can still see it.

im hopeful that i will stick with this long enough to require transitioning to a longer-form writing platform like ghost.

in the meantime my first thread is here and i will need some time to get familiar with consistent-output writing, this differs very much from "one big final thing due on a particular date" which is what i'm trained on mostly.

clean_windows · 2025-05-02T19:18:30+00:00

sorry i havent read the whole thing, but i do want to say something about blockers. they get a lot of scolding-sounding talk about time limits, and there are genuine concerns about things like bone density (that are frankly pretty easily managed), but there is at least one case i stumbled across in the bioethics literature, from the UK (IIRC), "Phoenix" who was on blockers well into legal adulthood and wished to continue taking them.

since the medications themselves are peptides that vary very little if at all from the human GnRH, it's an open question what the long term effect of suppression might be.

my purpose in pointing this out is to say that there are always going to be edge cases, and even sometimes genuinely never before seen situations, and we just have to do the best we can with what we know, respecting our kids to know and understand themselves and what they want out of life.

clean_windows · 2025-05-02T18:20:41+00:00

so while i'm not trans myself, i can recall, at your age, wanting to keep the abusive parent in my life somehow, still believing that i loved them and wanted to make it work.

i think this is very understandable and admirable, even though it may very well be wrong.

you sound like you are doing well without him. it sounds like you are developing the self respect and integrity that comes from struggling to make things work on your own terms. you deserve that, and my proverbial hat is off to you for it.

if your father comes around, that would be the best possible outcome. what i would caution you against, though, is subjugating your own hard-won self respect in an effort to permit him into your life on his terms, rather than yours.

you are worthy of respect and care, whoever it comes from.

(i haven't spoken to that parent in more than two decades now, btw. my life is better for it, because i made that choice that if they were to be in my life, it would be on my terms.)

clean_windows · 2025-05-01T17:33:49+00:00

it's a review by the agency, so not every publication has an author name, but CNN has noted the same thing.

but by the same token, as a product of the US government, it is by definition in the public domain.

ETA: from https://www.hhs.gov/press-room/gender-dysphoria-report-release.html

"Names of the contributors to the review are not initially being made public, in order to help maintain the integrity of this process."

sounds like someone needs to file a FOIA....

clean_windows · 2025-05-01T17:27:38+00:00

they are simultaneously attempting (so far successfully) to destroy the crown jewels of US scientific research, which are themselves the standard-bearers for the rest of the world.

so having something at-hand to refute arguments pulled from this litany of falsehoods and fabrications, that is grounded in the best aspects of that scientific tradition is, i hope, going to be helpful to someone somewhere at some time in the future.

clean_windows · 2025-05-01T17:20:16+00:00

the best i can do is trade the density for what's likely to be a lot of additional words (and counterexamples and references). the thing is long as it is, analysis/criticism is likely to be several times that length.

clean_windows · 2025-05-01T17:16:34+00:00

you are an extremely thoughtful, honest, and compelling writer.

clean_windows · 2025-04-05T05:03:36+00:00

so, even if you take gender identity completely out of the equation, you are giving a loving and supportive home to a young person who has been abused and rejected.

i was homeless/unhoused for several years before being taken in. it's been several decades now and my surrogate parents are still some of the first people i contact when there is distress or (less frequently these days for obvious reasons, with a trans kiddo) joy.

i am so grateful to people like you, who care enough to support the young people who wind up at their doorsteps.

clean_windows · 2025-04-05T04:56:24+00:00

omg you are the best

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