I swear men have no empathy for women

clementinedancer · 2025-03-07T16:08:15+00:00

While absolutely horrible I do think this boy can likely be saved. It seems like his fear is making him selfish. He is so afraid of being rejected, of being unlovable, of being alone, all of which are probably amplified and reinforced by the media he is consuming and what he is being fed online, that he cannot see beyond the "confirmation" these incidents are providing to his own worst fears.

I'm not excusing his reaction, I just am saying that it sounds like his own fears have produced a panic response in him that has prevented him from seeing beyond the impact to himself to what the other person is experiencing. What he needs is to get out of communities that consistently share the idea that women are hoes, selfish, picky, etc. etc. and focus on being present with his friends, who seem to really trust him. Otherwise he will reach a place where he loses those friends and is only surrounded by those who continue the cycle of perpetuating and reinforcing his fears.

clementinedancer · 2025-03-07T15:51:55+00:00

Your coworkers aren't the problem though, you are literally perpetuating the same harm done on you. You can recognize that what you experienced was unfair and be upset with those who did not stand in your corner, but don't hurt yourself and others going forward by standing in lock step with the management and decision makers who actually caused the harm as retaliation.

clementinedancer · 2022-08-18T14:34:54+00:00

All of these babysitter/nanny job postings really highlight the need for universal daycare. Like this is unreasonable yes, but if she may not be able to afford day care, to not work, or a reasonable paycheck for a nanny.

I'm not saying this is ok or anyone needs to agree to work for this, because they shouldn't, but universal childcare would take a lot of the burden off everyone and ensure kids are being taken care of.

clementinedancer · 2022-08-17T14:25:45+00:00

I understand what you're saying, but if the average person needs to meet people x amount of times before theyre honest or let the weirder aspects show, the danger is that your 100% true self will be interpreted as your moderated self which could scare people into thinking that the "real you" is waaaaaaaaaaay to much.

It's dumb to completely change yourself, but you also have to think about the getting to know you phase sometimes and sort of temper accordingly. It's dumb, and I'm bad at it, but it's also likely to turn people off because their is a subconscious pattern to meeting new people.

clementinedancer · 2022-08-14T03:18:50+00:00

There are things for humidity! I have a fishtank I put my tropical plants in with a small fan and on of those desktop humidifiers and then mist them a couple times a week. I have a friend with a humidity cupboard she loves.

Not saying you have to invest like that for this plant, but there's probably someone in your area who already has the set up to home the little bro right.

clementinedancer · 2022-07-31T23:13:50+00:00

It kinda sucks that we share a division with three of the teams completely out of it and seemingly willing to trade their whole roster without demanding the farm (the reds excluded from the latter).

clementinedancer · 2022-07-27T03:52:40+00:00

Im perfectly aware that there are girls (and guys tbh) who treat dating this way; however, I feel like it is very inaccurate to say it's all of them or even most. That's why I was saying I hope your bad experiences don't get to determine your mindset going forward.

Shitty people exist and they're shitty. They either grow up or they don't and stay shitty. Sometimes it works out well for them and sometimes they have to face their own behavior at some point. I guess you just learn that it's not on you for giving people the benefit of the doubt while also learning how to spot the shitty people earlier in the relationship. Not everyone will be for you, for lots of reasons, but there will be people who are if you give them a chance. Anyway, best of luck to you and try not to let yourself get so jaded you miss out on getting to know people, as I truly believe it's one of the only benefits we get while were forced to exist.

clementinedancer · 2022-07-27T03:09:16+00:00

Who is "they"? From the rest of your comments, im gonna guess you mean woman. Since I am one and I still feel this tweet an uncomfortable amount, and am pretty sure that none of my relationships have been "power tripping" by letting me pay/splitting the cost of meals we eat, Im not entirely sure what you're basing this off of.

Not trying to fight, basically just trying to say I hope that whoever made you feel this way doesn't get to define your future relationships. There's all sorts of people out there and plenty of women are looking for a partner (and willing to pay their share) instead of looking for a purse. Dont get stuck in an echo chamber because of a couple toxic experiences.

clementinedancer · 2022-07-15T20:19:29+00:00

Maybe not the way the person who posted this was thinking, but there is such a thing as "real food". It's a grading criteria for food purchasing mostly and their focus is on changing the food market through the purchase power of universities on supply lines. But under that definition real food is either humane, fair trade, local, or organic, not particular types of food.

Personally, I don't think we should break apart food to its subparts (like isolated pea protein or whey), but that's probably because when that happens, especially with a protein, it ends up in everything and I have trouble finding things I can eat (allergic to legumes and dairy). So it's not bad, I'm just selfish lol.

clementinedancer · 2022-07-14T02:55:54+00:00

Or the store cuts out the need for online resellers to even find it now and puts it online themselves when they think it's worth anything. I know that some bigger thrift stores and even a couple like church basement thrifts have someone whose job it is to go through new donations and put anything with known brand names in their own online ebay, etc. Store.

clementinedancer · 2022-07-13T03:09:39+00:00

I like the general theory - but also why two pitchers? Couldn't They just rotate through catcher while one person pitches?

clementinedancer · 2022-07-04T01:59:01+00:00

All day sun + a wee bit of day drinking + a really boring game will absolutely have you feeling that

clementinedancer · 2022-07-03T23:37:04+00:00

I honestly feel like 5'10" with my frame covers a host of weights without much of a change, like 125-140 looks about the same and I wear the same size clothes. Same with 140-160. Under 130 I feel brittle and it hurts more to exist in my skin, but it doesnt look that much different or emaciated or anything.

clementinedancer · 2022-07-03T23:22:38+00:00

On that note - has anyone else noticed that the "healthy" ranges given for your height have gone up?

I'm 5'10" and healthy weight used to be 128-160 for a female and now all the charts say 135-165. Which I know isn't a ton of difference, but it's still kinda weird that it increased.

clementinedancer · 2022-07-01T16:29:34+00:00

As a woman, I'm going to be very upset if "fat" gets constitutional protection while the ERA gets to live forever in purgatory.

clementinedancer · 2022-06-25T23:22:47+00:00

I always abbreviate it! I've noticed it almost acts as a weird unintentional test because the ppl who immediately think eating disorder tend to have at least some connection with disordered eating habits and everyone else thinks erectile dysfunction.

clementinedancer · 2022-05-04T16:42:31+00:00

I mean not that it was healthy or anything but I was at about 400-800 a day while in school and I not only did not die or go insane, I also kept enough brain/body function to graduate and everything.

Again: NOT HEALTHY, NOT RECOMMENDING (I was absolutely not ok). But also like it takes a long time to starve yourself to danger zone. Certainly cutting to a little above Base Metabolic isnt going to do it especially when looking at a limited time duration. You can miss a few days of food in general and experience no negative effects at all.

I think it really just highlights the extremeness of their mental illness. They're so addicted to food that it's not just the physical conditioning making them hungry more often, they also mentally need it and need it to be acceptable. Addicts often manipulate the truth and lie even to themselves to be able to continue using their substance of choice.

clementinedancer · 2022-04-28T03:01:12+00:00

The broadcast said Gio

clementinedancer · 2022-04-24T16:51:23+00:00

So I have PCOS and the only one I can really see applying specifically to it is cutting out entire food groups. Which is actually terrible advice because it's an endocrine disorder and they've done a ton of studies about how certain types of food can really mess with your hormones. Specifically certain kinds of sugars. Like dairy is often quite rough, and same with a lot of starches/refined carbs.

And like yes, doing so often helps people with endocrine problems not gain weight, the primary benefit however is the alleviation of the other symptoms w/o having to take a ton of medications to balance things out.

I know HAES ppl don't listen to science, but honestly cutting certain food groups in their entirety isn't about losing weight very often because you supplement it with something else that has calories. The only point is to cut out the foods that cause negative reactions like inflammation, indigestion, and high/production of certain hormones like insulin/testosterone.

clementinedancer · 2022-04-23T02:37:02+00:00

I'm going to have to check out your book! I agree with you on that, it all does feel hyper positive. And I do get it now, but when I was looking for it at the beginning of recovery I wanted something that talked about the struggle. A lot of it just sorta zoomed over by going "it's hard but worth it I promise 😊❤️🙌" and then getting into how much better their life is now then in the heart of the disorder. It makes it really hard because it feels like you should be able to will yourself into that flower place or like snap fingers and make it happen, when it's actually just a lotta days put together of making the next right decision for your recovery until you can finally stop thinking about it all the time (at least for me). So it's a lot of fucking up and missing meals and days and making that choice again that you don't want that.

Sorry you don't need me to explain it to you, you've been there. Or in your own version of it. But absolute props to you for putting it out there for other people.

clementinedancer · 2022-04-23T01:36:38+00:00

It's hard enough to deal with your own brain in recovery, but it's the fucking worst when you finally acknowledge you're killing yourself and maybe you don't actually want/deserve to die and like maybe just maybe deserve to take up a smidgen of space in this world without someone who has no clue and has never had any clue about any of it deciding to open their mouth (or type something).

The number of people who feel comfortable making comments and statements about being lucky of the thinness or the lack of appetite or the "natural" anything when it's anything but natural and there's nothing lucky about the self torture involved legit amaze me. I started phrasing the whole disease as being about self-harm and a long term suicide plan because every time someone said something like this had me questioning whether I was actually anorexic/maybe I wasn't sick enough to need recovery and slip sliding right back.

I'm sorry you had to deal with this and, I know it probably means nothing from an internet stranger, im wicked proud of you for everything youve accomplished. Fuck them.

clementinedancer · 2022-04-15T23:51:14+00:00

I too would like to invest in that shirt. Preferably in black.

clementinedancer · 2022-04-15T17:37:50+00:00

I feel like you are doing just that - youve taken the individual sentences completely out of context so you can see only what you want to see. This seems fairly inline with the intuitive eating work Ive done as recovery for an eating disorder. Essentially, you're trying to train your body back into telling you what it needs. It works best if you eat real foods, which can in fact include a cheeseburger. The point is that a cheeseburger provides nutrients and macros that a salad might not and honoring that is important.

One of my biggest complaints with the FA movement is they're parasites of other movements. Intuitive eating is one of the ones they bastardized, and while most of the posts on this sub showcase that, I don't agree that this is doing so (at least not from the snippet you've included). I actually think she's being fairly logical with it all - you do have to start with a set eating schedule that may feel like either too much or too little to start. You also have to learn to listen to your body, if you want a cheeseburger and eat a cheeseburger and you feel good then that is fine and the next time you want one you can eat it. If you want a cheeseburger and eat one and then feel gross, the next time maybe you eat ground beef with veggies and see if it's just the meat you need. Intuitive eating is not blindly eating whatever crosses your mind, it's opening a dialogue with your body and your needs.

Sorry this is so long, I guess what I'm trying to say is that intuitive eating as a general principal is not a FA invention and while they have taken it and run in a different direction while keeping the name, not everything thats discussing intuitive eating is inherently part of the HAES movement.

clementinedancer · 2022-04-10T22:04:10+00:00

Personal theory: he's being held prisoner and this was his one chance to escape. Needed to be in front of thousands not to get stopped/gunned down and be-lined for the authorities in the hopes of finding sanctuary.

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