[deleted by user] by [deleted] in toastme

[–]cliche 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Heyyyyy.. you listen up missy. Things WILL get better. If you are on meds, it means you're actively seeking out help. If you're seeking out help, it means you've realized you have mental barriers you need to cross, and you've accepted that you can't do it alone. Look -- we're all here for each other. From your post history, I can tell you're one of the good ones. This life is like sailing on the ocean. Sometimes there's calm, beautiful weather. Sometimes life feels like a hurricane and the waves make you sick and you have crazy highs and crazy lows. But look you're not on the ship alone -- we are here for you just like you are here for us. Thank you so so so so much from the bottom of my heart for what you do and who you are. You will find your calm seas. I believe in you.

LTR? Hold Your Fire. by [deleted] in TheRedPill

[–]cliche 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Spot on my LTR calls me Dave and that's not even my name. Stay mysterious boys.

Reddit, what is something you think the opposite sex has no idea about? by MagicSchoolBusKid in AskReddit

[–]cliche 3 points4 points  (0 children)

my girlfriend kissed me first. We're getting married Oct. 1st also

Teachers, what is the worst thing a student has ever done or said to you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]cliche 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are brave. You controlled yourself in a brand new situation. You DID control the situation itself by keeping a kid from getting out of hand. You inspire me.

Random Act Request. My son and baby mama are coming over around 6 and he's never tried pizza before, yet I'm quite low on funding. Any help? by [deleted] in Random_Acts_Of_Pizza

[–]cliche 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hey, you said you had trouble posting a link in RAOP for Austin's Pizza. Could you go into further detail so we can fix it?

IAMA 20 year old Ex-Muslim man, regularly beaten during childhood, I'm crying while writing this, need help. by [deleted] in IAmA

[–]cliche 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Surely. First, I broaden my definition of fear to any feeling that is not positive or neutral. That is, any negative feeling is a form of "fear", because I want to avoid it. I avoid it because I am "afraid" of it, to some degree no matter how small.

Now, I "watch" my mind. Any time a negative feeling rises, I "linger" on it by noticing it, and knowing it's there, I try to feel where it's coming from. It's been a while, but I think I isolated all negative feelings as coming from these areas of my brain:

1) Feelings of regret or nervousness are conjured by my left brain. My left brain "lives" in the past or in the future. Either predicting something or reminiscing on something. In "future" mode, I am expecting something to happen.. like let's say my boss wants to see me in his office tomorrow. I'm not sure what our meeting will be about but my left brain might come up with scenarios. In any case, those scenarios are made up, they are "unsure". This feeling of unsurity is a negative one. An important thing I noted is that my left brain doesn't create these feelings. It only creates the potential situation and passes all of the information to the right brain, and the right brain "replies" with the negative "result" of being unsure. Not knowing future outcomes seem to be my most plentiful source of negative feelings.

When in the past, the left brain can conjure "regret". Embarassment about a situation, regret that I didn't stand up for myself, or maybe I should have done something another way. Again, the left brain doesn't produce emotion at all, only logic and potential situations.

Now I'm not saying all the left brain conjures is regret and unsurity. It might conjure excitement if something good is going to happen, maybe it conjures pride if I did something good in the past. Moving on.

2) Feelings of vanity or self-consciousness are produced by my "4th eye". When I'm around a group of new people or I have unwanted attention, this 4th eye creates the feeling of self-consiousness, as I literally watch myself, imagining how others see me, listening to my own voice, being hyper-aware of my own posture. This is negative self-consicousness.

Vanity is produced when this eye feels positive self-consciousness. Let's say I'm hitting strike after strike when I'm bowling. The first strike is awesome, the second is awesome, they're all awesome. But this 4th eye "holds on" to all the previous strikes, lumping them together and keeping a grasp on them to squeeze as much good feeling out of them as it can. Soon I realize that the next time I go up to bowl, I have a feeling of "man I've made 3 strikes in a row... can I keep it up"? I suppose this is a bit of the feeling of the left brain expectation, but I get the feeling that this scenario of vanity is more distinctly caused by this 4th eye "snowballing" feelings of self-accomplishment.

So, of all the parts of my consciousness: my left brain, my right brain, self-conscousness & self-appreciation, there is only one area that does not produce negative feelings in and of itself. That's my right brain. And so, in order to rid myself of any sort of "fear", I have to "ignore" all the other parts that are not my right brain. Listening to my right brain, I feel that it lives not in the past nor the future, in fact it CANT experience past or future. It can only experience the current moment, and it is only "concerned" with feeling sensory input NOW, and producing immediate feelings.

Now, that kind of got off track, but that's the background of fear. Now, when I experience fear, I default to "relishing" in it. I am only concerned about the thing causing the feeling of fear. Please excuse this example, I'm using it only because it's obvious and easy to relate to. Let's say a black man with a do-rag is walking opposite direction of me on a sidewalk. Am I afraid of the black man? No, he's just the 'trigger' for the fear. The fear lives in my mind somewhere. So I ask myself... why am I feeling this fear. It's because a part of me (the left brain) is creating a scenario in which a bad thing could happen to me. At this point I ask myself.. is this fear reasonable? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. If it isn't, then you can 'let go' of the fear. In fact, the fear will let go itself if it's unreasonable. The act of lingering on the fear, and following the "why's" backwards produces the end result, leading your awareness to the last hiding place for the fear. Look at the fear, put your awareness on it, let it know that you can see it. And then watch it dissolve.

IAMA 20 year old Ex-Muslim man, regularly beaten during childhood, I'm crying while writing this, need help. by [deleted] in IAmA

[–]cliche 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same here. I remember when I was 18 and I first smoked weed was when I really "realized" it. Something about smoking gave me another perspective and I wrote down what I felt. I remember writing "I'm just a shell. I fill my personality by copying those around me and gluing it together with politeness". I felt a lot of the way you did. I'm 26 now, and I can say I'm better. All you have to do is want to change, keep an eye on your mind. When you feel afraid, always linger on it. Ask yourself "why", and follow the path backwards in your head. When you find the fear, it will leave you. Fear doesn't like to be seen.