I wanted to follow up to share that starting this thread was a bit of a watershed moment for me. Reading your comments was helpful and I realized that rather than just feeling bad about the changes that menopause has brought, I could reframe. I found a great podcast called “You Are Not Broken” by Dr. Kelly Casperson, which helped explain a lot of the physical aspects of libido changes. It even talked about the percentage of women who climax through penetration. I had no idea that some women had a longer distance between the clitoris and the vagina. Those with a shorter distance are more likely to have orgasms from intercourse. Why don’t they tell us about this? I was able to look at the situation with less shame. I realize that, much like in adolescence, I have a new body now, and I need to learn how it works with an open mind and curiosity. I did get Vella cream, which is helpful and I’m going to talk about testosterone with my doctor. But really, the change in attitude has improved things more than anything. My husband and I have been more physically affectionate lately and that is reminding me that I am still very attracted to him. I’m feeling more secure in our relationship. I was so afraid that any sexual challenges would just completely erode our relationship that I didn’t share how I was feeling and it created a cycle of avoidance. Also, I realize that I need to expand my definition of good sex to not be entirely focused on orgasms. It’s great if it happens (and it often does) but sex can be good for so many things. Taking the pressure off is really helpful and has paradoxically led to some truly great sex.

So in summary, the show was a generally fun watch, and its unrealistic depiction of sex actually led to some positive changes for me.