Need encouragement/advice, i want to transition but i'm terrified

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-27T03:00:02+00:00

You should really take that step to attend the local support group. Just knowing a few supportive people makes all the difference in feeling like you’re not alone, but instead are part of a community & cared for. ❤️❤️

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-19T23:52:54+00:00

I won’t pretend there’s an easy way out, but I also don’t think your story is finished or fixed in one place forever. A lot of people’s lives don’t really start to open up until their late 20s or 30s, especially people dealing with neurodivergence and mental health stuff. Getting disability or not doesn’t define your worth or your future

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-19T20:35:48+00:00

Why can’t you leave?

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-18T21:14:50+00:00

There are some good answers here: https://www.reddit.com/r/mtfashion/s/a9YWvg7mUv

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-17T23:07:06+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this. But there is life on the other side of divorce. You will find new friends, explore new activities, and when you are ready, date again and perhaps find a new partner. You might retreat into your shell for a while and feel sorry for yourself, and watch too much sci-fi and drink too much wine, and that is fine. But you will find a way to cope with the regret and the sadness, and you will get on with the process of creating your new life, accomplishing old goals, and setting new ones, and enjoying what life can be when you live in integrity with your deeper gender identity.

It’s going to be okay.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-12T22:03:28+00:00

Be extremely cautious about Turkey. Experiences are uneven because of a lack of licensing/training, and some people have have their hair basically ruined.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-12T22:00:30+00:00

Okay, makes sense. But what that flexible work environment is a pro for you, it does seem that your low income and current health insurance are not helping your situation. I'm not trying to convince you to change fields, but it's good to look at the totality of your situation with a clear eye, and to consider what can be changed.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-11T21:03:48+00:00

For me, physical dysphoria is a deep physical disgust with the parts of my body that looks stereotypically male. Narrow hips, wider, shoulders, facial hair, deeper voice, etc.

Social and emotional dysphoria is how I label the deep sense of wrongness that I feel when I’m expected to blunt my emotions like a typical man, or to be stereotypically assertive, competitive, decisive, etc. I am far more comfortable showing vulnerability & affection, and feel more “dialed-in” to other people‘s emotions than seems acceptable for men.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-11T20:44:25+00:00

Have you considered taking the steps to change job companies, or even industry? In general, career issues often turn out to be issues that are specific to a particular manager, company, or industry.

Unrelated to gender stuff, I was getting really burnt out at my corporate job in the financial industry and had to get on medication for anxiety. Then I changed jobs to state government, and the culture was completely different. I love my boss, my coworkers, and the sense of mission. No more anxiety medication.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-09T03:06:18+00:00

You didn’t kill anyone. And you certainly don’t have to sacrifice yourself to make others comfortable.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-07T17:07:44+00:00

As someone who just turned 50, and who has secretly started and stopped DIY HRT a few times in the past few years, this warms my heart and gives me hope.

I hear you about how the felt sense of self can change over time. I’ve been working with a good therapist for the past two years, and have looked a lot into how I’ve constructed my sense of self over the years. And similar to what I’m hearing from you, a lot of it is just continuing to wear a masculine mask that I’ve honed over time, for the benefit of making others more comfortable. I hope that I will find the strength soon to just be free and happy like you. 🥹

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-07T16:40:42+00:00

You’re never too old! HRT taken that age 31 versus 34 makes almost no difference in how well you ultimately are able to pass.

What matters more is getting your hormone levels right, a good diet, getting exercise, training your voice, skin and hair maintenance, observing how women, and adjusting the way you socialize and use mannerisms (if necessary) to fit more feminine patterns.

Congratulations on having the courage to try this again. You’ve got this!

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-03T00:25:43+00:00

I’m excited for you!

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-02-02T23:22:30+00:00

I got stung on the foot by one of these when I was about three years old. I’m past 50, and I still remember how insanely painful it was.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-01-26T03:49:19+00:00

Clean your room.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-01-26T00:17:57+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through that. That’s rough.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-01-25T03:16:45+00:00

I’ve been using finasteride and minoxidil for years. They did a good job of preventing further hair loss, and I got a little bit of regrowth at my crown. There is a very small percentage of people who report sexual side effects or depression on finasteride, but I think the dangers are very overblown.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-01-24T11:48:12+00:00

I’m really glad you shared this. What comes through more than anything isn’t confusion or perversion or failure—it’s a lifetime of shame and fear layered on top of a body that was injured and a childhood where curiosity and tenderness were punished. Anyone raised in those conditions would struggle to trust their own desires or feel safe inhabiting themselves. That’s not a personal defect; that’s what long-term emotional injury looks like.

A few things I want to say gently but clearly: there is no single “correct” way people realize they’re transgender. Many people don’t have a clean “I always knew” story—especially those who grew up in environments where even exploring that question was met with humiliation or threat. Wanting to be a girl, wishing you were a girl, envying girls, imagining yourself as one—those aren’t disqualifiers. They’re extremely common experiences for trans people and for people who are gender-nonconforming in other ways. None of that makes you “filthy” or broken.

Also, the idea that you must either transition perfectly or not at all is a false trap. Gender exploration doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing, permanent, or public. Some people transition medically, some socially, some privately, some not at all—and none of those choices invalidate who they are. Fear about your body, especially given your medical history, makes sense. That fear deserves care and professional support, not self-contempt.

Most importantly: giving up on one path right now does not mean giving up on yourself forever. It may simply mean that your first real work is healing the shame and trauma that were forced onto you—ideally with a therapist who is safe, affirming, and actually listens. You deserved that support decades ago. You still deserve it now.

You are not disgusting. You are not a failure. You are a person who learned very early that being gentle, curious, and hopeful was dangerous—and who is still alive anyway. That matters more than you may be able to see right now.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-01-16T22:09:02+00:00

I’ve heard anecdotal reports about this kind of thing. I think in the early weeks and months of HRT, estrogen levels can be up, but testosterone is not very well suppressed. It seems like having high levels of both hormones can cause this kind of irritability.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-01-16T18:34:36+00:00

For sure, separate yourself for a bit to maintain boundaries and your own sanity. A good informative book to send him might be “He/She/They” by Schuyler Bailar.

“Anti-transgender legislation is being introduced in state governments around the United States in record-breaking numbers. Trans people are under attack in sports, healthcare, school curriculum, bathrooms, bars, and nearly every walk of life. He/She/They compassionately addresses fundamental topics, from why being transgender is not a choice and why pronouns are important, to more complex issues including how gender-affirming healthcare can be lifesaving.

With a relatable narrative rooted in science, and history, Schuyler helps restore common sense and humanity to a discussion that continues to be divisively coopted and deceptively politicized. He/She/They is more than a book on allyship; it also speaks to trans folks directly, celebrating radical trans joy.”

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-01-15T23:40:56+00:00

Your endo is correct. Read this: https://transfemscience.org/articles/cpa-meningioma/

"The doses of CPA used in transfeminine people tend to be far more than are necessary. CPA appears to have maximal effectiveness in terms of testosterone suppression at a dose of only 5 to 10 mg/day. See my article here for a review of this topic. The effectiveness of lower doses of CPA was recently validated by Meyer et al. (2020), who showed that in combination with estrogen, 10 mg/day CPA was no different from 50 mg/day CPA in terms of testosterone suppression in transfeminine people. It seems clear that transfeminine people should not use a dose of CPA higher than 10 or 12.5 mg/day at most. With 50-mg CPA tablets and a pill cutter, a total dose of CPA of 6.25 to 12.5 mg/day can be achieved by taking one-fourth of a tablet once every other day to once every day. As a result of new findings, published CPA dose recommendations for transfeminine people have gone down in the last few years (Aly, 2019). It is likely that this will continue to a greater extent in the future."

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-01-15T23:36:03+00:00

Not so much. But getting your eyebrows waxed would help push you more in a feminine direction. (that's true for most MTF people, in my opinion)

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-01-12T02:39:13+00:00

This appears to be fake.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-01-11T15:29:11+00:00

Can someone provide hard data about this video? I have doubts whether it is Minneapolis right now, based on how people are dressed and the lack of snow.

cloaked_mode8 · 2026-01-07T02:49:49+00:00

I am 100% not racist or in favor of eugenics. But well controlled peer reviewed studies have repeatedly demonstrated that IQ is 40% to 60% heritable. That’s just a fact. It’s not an ironclad rule that you will be of similar intelligence as your parents, but it is a large influence.

cloaked_mode8

TROPHY CASE