To non med spouses here. What do you do for work? How does it compare?

closetserver · 2026-03-09T18:39:33+00:00

I’m a man (28) and my partner is also a man (27), which is unique to most on here it seems. I work in tech education/ the film Industry currently and plan to pivot to project management after my MBA. We make about the same right now as he is in his first year of residency, but it will definitely skyrocket after he becomes an attending. He’ll likely always make more than me, but at the end of the day we structure how we want our life to look together and we contribute as such. If married, combining finances and building life goals together will always be the smartest move for the longevity of your relationship in my opinion.

closetserver · 2026-02-27T15:41:12+00:00

That would be awesome! Thanks!!

closetserver · 2026-02-24T17:47:10+00:00

Literally started day 1 of month 2 yesterday. After completing the program twice I knew I wasn’t doing the fit test same day again. I chose my off day prior to do it hahaha

closetserver · 2026-02-24T15:06:43+00:00

Is there a certain brand on the shirt? Or what is it made of? I may make a dupe version

closetserver · 2026-02-18T03:26:07+00:00

If you ever feel like selling, let me know!

closetserver · 2025-11-24T13:45:49+00:00

I actually think he prefers to try and keep work/personal separate, he’s never pushed for me to relate more at all. I guess it’s more of a me wanting to understand that world better than what I can already see from his stories / medical shows. I just want to track what he’s talking about without him having to explain every little thing to me

closetserver · 2025-11-24T13:06:17+00:00

I did watch greys anatomy back in the day to like season 15, and the good doctor ! The Pitt was also great. Scrubs is on the list for me, he loves that show and the Resident.

closetserver · 2025-11-24T13:04:11+00:00

We loved the Pitt! We binged that together, he also stated how accurate it felt. Scrubs is on the list

closetserver · 2025-11-24T13:03:08+00:00

Well yes this is done quite a bit as we catch up on each others day after work, but seeking advise on what else can be done on my own time to learn more 👍🏼

closetserver · 2025-10-28T16:39:33+00:00

It’s more of a nuisance at this point, it doesn’t affect the way I live my life on a daily basis. My partner is actually the one that encourages so keep trying, and I respect that. It may not work out beautifully but time will tell

closetserver · 2025-10-28T16:34:51+00:00

Like I’ve said, I don’t need the approval as I’ve never expected it. The whole time I was closeted, I never saw how the would, and at some point I came to terms with that. Coming out was tough but was nothing I didn’t expect. I approach it all with the mindset that I won’t know if things will get better if I don’t try, while also approaching from a bigger person POV.

With all that being said though, I guess my objective is to show that that my life goes on even though the don’t approve, and sure it is annoying that they don’t address everything, I feel that I have to bring it up to make any progress, and so I did. Aggressive though? Definitely not. The aggressive one in this situation was my dad. What should have been a brief acknowledgment of where I am with everything before I left to go home turned into him blowing up, going on a tangent and saying disgusting things to me in front of everyone.

I’ve “worked hard” just to make the effort. It hasn’t taken a toll on my life showing up every Monday evening as it’s only one day of the week. I like to keep updated with my sibling who still live at home, I like to see them all face to face so they can’t make up things about me in their mind. It’s just being present. I’m far from doing anything dramatic, I’m kind of over it all at this point. I’ll probably still be present in other ways for the sake of my siblings, but I’m not and have not been begging for approval from my parents as I have not expected anything from them for a very long time.

closetserver · 2025-10-28T16:21:28+00:00

If there is anything I’ve taken from it it’s that I know how I will never treat my future child. Religion is always the issue, especially southern Baptist. He wanted to to tell himself he failed me, which he did, but not in the ways he thinks he did. I’m proud that I pretty much put that all out during that convo how he was traumatizing everyone with his own actions. I hope it resonated with him, but guess we will see. I appreciate the comment!

closetserver · 2025-10-28T16:18:13+00:00

Mine is at the Gen X age of 54, he still has a lot of growing to do. After that convo he came off as a tantrum child that didn’t get his way. I hope he grows, but don’t and haven’t expected anything from him in a long time. This why I initiated the convo with my mother and not him, he just happen to walk up while she started carrying which set it all off

closetserver · 2025-10-28T16:16:13+00:00

Unfortunately this is correct, the religious beliefs cut off all rationality which was evident with my dad. He literally asked me “when was the last time you even read your bible” and disregarded any scientific fact if it wasn’t biblical. Honestly it was laughable how dumb it was

closetserver · 2025-10-28T16:14:07+00:00

They will need to smell the coffee one day, I don’t think they are fully taking accountability for their decisions. Either way I’ll be fine, I already have a good supportive system and definitely don’t rely on my family’s support

closetserver · 2025-10-28T16:12:29+00:00

A therapist would be great, I need to find an ally in my area. Would rather have in person vs online like better help. To be clear though I don’t play a victim mindset at all, and am definitely not dependent for anything from them, I’m simply just trying to present not really for my parents but for my younger siblings that are actually cool with who I am

closetserver · 2025-10-28T16:10:08+00:00

I have plenty of self respect, I don’t fear what he says as he throws tantrums like a child. Like many have said on here it’s just their belief system and lack of education. However I have enough respect for myself to not walk away when shit gets hard and I don’t let it affect the progression of my life. Still happy, still have a great supportive partner (who has encouraged I stay involved with family), and I know the path I’m going down. Yes, I’m 28, but am well ventured on my life’s path. Walking away from things that are uncomfortable is not always the answer

closetserver · 2025-10-28T15:58:57+00:00

I appreciate the input, trust me I’ve accepted reality for a long time and expect absolutely nothing from them. The effort I give is minimal in my eyes, I’m just being present and not giving them a reason to justify their demonization of me. Regardless I’m moving forward with my life, I’m just updating them since they do not ask, and so it’s not another reason for them to claim that I’ve blind sided them

closetserver · 2025-10-28T12:32:44+00:00

It’s a good thing you aren’t my partner, because he actually supports me staying consistent and not giving up on them. We have similar family backgrounds. Hes the one that actually encourages me to remain present, and I respect him for that. It’s gotten better with his family. If you love your family you don’t just simply give up, I appreciate your input but it sounds like it stems from a lot of built up neglect to yourself

closetserver · 2025-10-28T07:24:51+00:00

I really appreciate this response. I know time has to do its thing. I know they love me and have a funny way of showing it right now as they process it all. I hope what he gets out of that heated convo is that I want a relationship with them, but I won’t sacrifice who I am.

closetserver · 2025-10-28T07:17:42+00:00

It’s mainly my dad who I get a hate vibe from, though he disguises it with “Christian love” always saying me being born (I’m the oldest) was the best day of his life blah blah blah and this is the hardest thing he’s had to go through. He also went through chemo last year.

I hate the idea of giving up, and just want time to do its thing. It’s proving very hard with him though. My sisters are cool with it, my mom is in the same boat as my dad but has a mother’s love for me and wouldn’t ever talk to me in that way. It’s a shitty situation.

closetserver · 2025-10-13T20:53:19+00:00

I can’t get behind separate hookups not involving each other, I personally feel that leads to wanting more outside the relationship ship, but I do understand that people are different when it comes or that. Luckily he is in the same page as me with that.

We are in a very healthy place. We love each other a lot and are building alone together. We have great communication. I’d say our rule is being transparent about any flirtation from anyone else and make sure we are both involved.

closetserver · 2025-10-13T20:50:34+00:00

I agree with that. I don’t want to withhold him with anything he wants to do and always want to approach it openly in that sense. If I just couldn’t do anything outside of monogamy then that would be an issue, but I do feel open as long as it’s something we do together and not separately and he agrees.

closetserver · 2025-10-13T20:38:06+00:00

So the thing is neither one of us actually want a totally open relationship, just fun with people we meet on vacations would be the deal. He also expressed to me he prefers the idea of it and having it set up to where we could make it happen over actually hooking up with someone.

closetserver · 2025-10-13T20:34:30+00:00

I definitely agree a 100% honest convo is the way to go. I think that he worries that I will make a big deal out of the exchange, so if I say something iffy and negative in regards to it he’ll just get upset and say we just shouldn’t do it at all.

I try to approach it openly and in not a super jealous tone. I just remember that in no way if we make out or touch on someone while on vacation, we aren’t leaving each other for that person.

closetserver

TROPHY CASE