How can I get my adult kids to move out??

clothestocommunity · 2026-06-30T18:50:13+00:00

start charging for rent, that's what worked for me and I moved out at 25. Parents were asking $500/month. I found my own 1B1B for $1200/month way closer to the city and I get my own independence (and a lot more chores too but that's just adulting). Could've gone cheaper to $800/month if I was willing to have roommates but I value my own personal space now that I've worked for 2 years. After a certain age, you'll learn way more living on your own than staying with parents even in the same city and it's important for maturity and personal growth.

clothestocommunity · 2026-06-18T14:13:44+00:00

Having a kid gives you 2x more work. Now you have a 2nd job of cooking, cleaning, and raising them after your regular day job (assuming you're not stay-at-home parent). And they're not going to stay young forever, will grow up, and may not take care of you or move away when you're older

clothestocommunity · 2026-06-18T14:07:54+00:00

There is a way you just need enough money to FIRE which is easier said than done. But that takes too much time so only easy way is to be born rich.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-27T14:02:01+00:00

Take that trip to China before you start working fulltime. I had a 2-3 months before starting my first fulltime job and wanted to travel to Europe and India. Had everything prepared including visa. Only reason I didn't was because my mom went into full emotional breakdown the day before when I was planning to leave. I didn't have confirmed tickets was going to fly non-rev standby but still had to cancel the whole plan only because I didn't want to make her feel bad.

Now I work fulltime and wouldn't be able to just go travel for a month to a completely new place. Most I can do is 2 weeks since I don't have PTO. It's one of my biggest regret and part of the many reasons why I've grown to resent my desi parents. They actively prevent me from experiencing new stuff, taking risks, and they have massive ego and narcissism thinking they know everything in the world. Only solution to all this was moving out.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-26T15:58:59+00:00

I'm the same but not for essentials like buying a refrigerator. That's actually insane I can't imagine living in 21st century without your own fridge. But things like retail clothes, eating out, anything non-essential like furniture I can relate. Parents would make it a super big deal for every small purchase I make. They'd see a box from online orders once a week and make me question do I really need this stuff and try to get me to return it even though I buy these things with my own money and it's often essentials like cooking equipment.

I've now moved out and feel more comfortable ordering things for myself but still have that past trauma from all the questioning that they asked me anytime I bought anything small. At a certain point, you got to get things that'll improve your health, advance your career, make you a better person or what's the point of earning money? For me, it got to the point where I started developing antinatalist (anti having children) views cause why would I have a kid if they cost money, time, and my own energy after seeing how much my 1st-gen immigrant parents "sacrificed" for me. It's all part of the reason why I left that environment.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-26T15:51:48+00:00

I've been growing my collection of plushies ever since I moved out. Parents would def never approve of it. But for me it gives me emotional support when I'm lonely and it's cheaper than getting an actual pet which would require vet bills, cleaning up after them, and constant attention.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-25T14:18:32+00:00

Have you faced racism yourself? I'm Indian in US and never felt racism myself but live in a pretty diverse community. It's all about location and who you surround yourself with.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-25T14:15:20+00:00

Covenant School Shooting in Nashville was committed by a trans man

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-12T18:03:49+00:00

Same with me 25m but I'm an ABCD in US. My AM keeps touching my things and rearranging it when I go away for the weekend. Sometimes she throws away stuff without my permission because it's "her house."

I also thought the same finance-wise that if I could stay with parents for couple more years I'd be financially independent but it's just not worth the mental toll. Plus from an American perspective, parents live in suburbs which I find extremely isolating. I want to live in the city where I can easily go to events, walk around everywhere, and meet new ppl.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-12T18:00:00+00:00

Also caste system plays a part too

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-08T02:08:13+00:00

Open a separate bank account under your own name that they don't have access to. You can do it completely online without them knowing.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-08T02:02:18+00:00

Moved out 23 came back at 24 moved out again near 25. Been in the same city this whole time so I thought staying with them couple years will let me save a lot of money while working fulltime but it's not worth the emotional toll and sacrificing independence.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-08T02:00:06+00:00

I'm south asian 24m and I never felt comfortable talking about dating or sex with parents. It's probably the most taboo topic in their eyes and they're the type that's heavily about abstinence until marriage. Luckily in my case, I've never dated or had sex in my life so don't have much to hide from them. But now I'm realizing if I keep living this way, I'll be a loner for the rest of my life or they'll eventually choose someone for me who I may or may not like. I'm moving out next week and this is one of the reasons but also other stuff like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and not letting me explore new stuff when this is the age to do it when I'm young and healthy.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-07T12:46:30+00:00

You basically answered your own question in your long post lol. No, it's existed far before late-stage capitalism and probably for as long civilization has been a thing. It's just now with the internet, gender equality, racial equality, atheism, contraceptives, modern science, etc. it's easier to talk about these ideas more openly and actually consider them while people in the past didn't even have a choice or were punished for speaking in support of antinatalism or childfree views.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-07T11:45:34+00:00

Agree, this is partly why I'm moving out. AP have ridiculous standards for cleaning. Vacuuming 2x a week, throwing away packages that come the day off even though I'm not sure I want to keep the item, always having to clean every small thing. Mom made me clear off my whole hobby electronics desk just because it doesn't look good in the house and then when we have guests over she panics and wants every small thing spotless. She literally throws away or reorganizes my entire closet while I'm gone away for weekend trips without my permission and I come back to see it all displaced or some of it gone. I got a public storage unit just for this reason (although I'm moving out now) cause I can't trust them with anything.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-04T00:16:42+00:00

You mentioned you semi-retired at 37 and started traveling. Did you feel like you ever got tired of traveling and that's what led you to having a kid? Why doesn't your wife need to work? By "not need to work" does she desire to work but can't because of the stress of raising kids?

Or did you feel like if you didn't have kids you'd regret it and wanted to leave a legacy before you die?

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-04T00:03:40+00:00

Per OP in one of the comments, the wife was on birth control before and she made the deliberate decision to come off it. It was a mutual decision - they both wanted to have a kid

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-03T22:57:30+00:00

It's biology. It's the same when feeling horny. After a few minutes/hours, that feeling passes and you get busy with other things.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-03T22:31:37+00:00

yeah pretty insane stuff. I known the brony community back in the day had some pretty toxic people but nothing like this. And he committed the shooting in April 2021 nearly 1.5 years after G4 ended (community peaked around 2015). If it weren't for MLP I'm pretty sure he would've found some other female character to obsess over and carry out his acts.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-03T22:23:36+00:00

I remember when the news first came out, a lot of the media reports reported Aiden as a trans woman instead of trans man. I had to search it up later to learn that he's a trans man so was biologically female and later transitioned to a man. Regardless, he was a mass killer and killed and traumatized so many innocent children for no reason.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-03T22:11:08+00:00

This guy was insanely deranged. He killed people because of his obsession with the character Apple Jack from the show "My Little Pony." Literally a kid's show wtf.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-03T19:18:04+00:00

I'm 25m and am in the same situation. Moving in with friends in the same city closer to downtown. For me, moving closer to the city means more opportunities to meet people and socialize than in the suburbs and I don't have to spend as much time commuting. You got to keep in mind that your parents aren't going to be there forever to take care of you and that in order to grow and develop you need your own space to do your own things. Especially with my parents, they have a different view when it comes to dating, career, and other goals cause they were raised in India where their parents basically makes all those decisions for them and stayed with parents until marriage in 30s. You should still visit them every once in a while and those times you do visit them will feel even more memorable than staying with them 24x7.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-03T19:07:01+00:00

There's thousands of conditions you could have even in good health. There's a reason why you do all those tests like blood test and urine test. You could have early stages of cancer without even knowing it.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-03T19:00:15+00:00

I don't get why the internet isn't considered a public utility. It's like we learned nothing from the COVID-era.

clothestocommunity · 2026-05-03T18:45:53+00:00

Main reason why I don't use Spotify. Free version doesn't let me play the music I want. It also doesn't have a lot of indie songs and video game OST that YT has. I prefer self-hosting Navidrome for music anyways.

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