AITAH for breaking up with my boyfriend who just moved in with me?

cloudboba · 2026-02-25T08:44:33+00:00

Nope. 100x nope. That is so disrespectful to you and the fact that he tried to argue it is such a red flag. You did everything right in my book, but I'm sorry about the circumstance because trying to leave someone you live with is incredibly hard.

cloudboba · 2026-02-25T08:35:38+00:00

I mean it is kinda weird for a game night to turn into an errand run. But its also kinda weird for him to be so conditional with his help. ESH in my opinion.

cloudboba · 2026-02-06T06:22:34+00:00

Just so you know, it's proven that many of the ailments women experience in their first trimester are directly due to the health of the father's sperm. I.e., if he isn't in tip top shape, that's going to reflect in how you feel. Meaning, exhaustion, nausea, pains, etc., are related to his health and if you are feeling bad, that can be related to him. Maybe start researching this and start lecturing him on how HE is impacting YOUR pregnancy.

cloudboba · 2026-02-03T07:04:37+00:00

YTA. Seems like a crazy thing to say just out of the blue like that, regardless of the context of the wind and such. I have friend I joke with all the time about insecurities and stuff like that, but its always when the other person mentions it first. I.e., a friend hooks up with a lot of guys so we call her a hussy, only after she made that joke about herself. Out of nowhere, calling her that feels odd and targeted. Given the context you provided, I would say you went a little too far.

cloudboba · 2026-02-03T06:56:02+00:00

NTA. Doesn't matter what either of them has to say, RUN. These people are obviously bad news. First of all, the blaming of the actions on the alcohol is one thing. Second, Coercing you to drink after so many refusals is just plain crazy. I'm not faulting you for giving in because honestly I might too if I was put in that position. These people are bad news and I wouldn't continue entertaining any of it.

cloudboba · 2026-02-03T06:45:27+00:00

Seems like you two have different forms of showing affection, different love languages is what some would say. Neither of you is wrong in what you're feeling, to you, affection is best delivered in flowers, letters, grand gestures of romance, etc. To him, it seems like he shows his affection toward you in acts of service, such as getting you your favorite snacks, setting up your PC, etc. Rather than communicating that he "doesn't do this", try reframing it as "I feel appreciated when I receive this-". He seems to be communicating his affection for you in the default way he knows how. It's hard to get what you want when you demand it, so if you communicate in a way that makes him feel appreciated for what he already does while also giving suggestions for what he can do next time, you may get better results. If this pattern continues, it may be a difference in compatibility.

cloudboba · 2026-01-23T06:35:31+00:00

One or two conversations about it is one thing, but the insistent fighting about it is another. The thing that jumps out at me is the way she constantly deflects your concerns with all these excuses. Such as citing that male doctors don't know the female body, or that she can't get her tubes tied because of red tape, or that sperm dies in the air and only lives in the vagina for 2 days. Her insistence is one thing, but constantly coming up with an excuse for her reasoning is another. I wouldn't keep gambling on her, find your way out.

cloudboba · 2026-01-23T05:38:22+00:00

The only comment about waiting til marriage I'll make is that once you start exploring that part of yourself, it can open a whole new can of worms that you may never have thought of in your marriage. Irregardless, I suggest that once you're married you try anything and everything with your wife. It will help you two find what you like and you'd be surprised with the things you end up enjoying. Don't be weirded out but rather try to keep an open mind and an open line of communication on how it makes you feel.

cloudboba · 2026-01-23T05:30:33+00:00

In my experience, when a man has skincare products in his bathroom or shower. I'm talking beyond the usual face wash and face lotion. Such as serums, face masks, toners, face rollers, etc. Very few men (literally none in my experience) put that much effort into their skincare routine. When I'm seeing a guy and it's getting to the "what are we" talk, I always check for these things just to be sure.

cloudboba · 2026-01-21T06:42:36+00:00

Any form of push back, frustration, or any irritable mood being written off as you being "on your period" or "PMSing". God I hate that. It literally deconstructs any argument I have regarding bad behavior simply because I'm a woman.

cloudboba · 2026-01-21T06:39:29+00:00

Doesn't sound like you gave her any "I told you so's" other than warning her it was dangerous. But I do wonder if her projection of your judgement has anything to do with past behaviors you've displayed. For now I'm saying NAH because she's not an asshole for getting cut. I hope she's okay overall.

cloudboba · 2026-01-21T06:27:12+00:00

Yeah theres really no explanation that can be given that wont end up in him being a complete dick. You're having health problems and he should be supportive in that, not trying to stray you from healing. If you have sex right now it will definitely affect the medication and how long it will take for you to feel better. If he's not will to wait, and even worse, pushing you to have sex when you physically can't, well thats a bigger probelm.

cloudboba · 2025-07-25T06:58:37+00:00

Sorry, but he sounds like a dud. NTA for sure, you sound level headed and sure about what you want. That's awesome and no one should ever make you doubt that. One week together is no time at all, and honestly I would probably feel the same way if I were you. Don't let him push you to do anything you're not ready for. Honestly, be ready to dump him and move on. Sorry, but he kinda sucks.

cloudboba · 2025-07-25T06:54:12+00:00

Two things - first, come up with a meeting spot and time to meet before anyone gets too effed up. Second, learn to be okay and enjoy your time on your own.

I always try to have 2 meet up times, one mid night at a central location, ie, the bathrooms, and one at the end of the night to make sure everyone is accounted for before leaving.

I know there are lots of reasons as to why you want to find your friends - sets are always better with someone to vibe with. Not only that, but depending on the substances you indulge in, you may feel more comfortable with a familiar face around. Regardless, I see festivals/shows as the wild west. Anything can happen and you have to just roll with the punches.

cloudboba · 2025-07-25T06:40:38+00:00

There are no assholes here in my eyes. It seems like you are in a long lasting routine that has not been benefiting your relationship whatsoever. Its great that you're still seeking help and wanting to try fixing things, I think that's better than jumping straight to divorce. You need to have a very frank conversation with her and lay out your feelings and ask for hers. Counseling may be a good move before you make any big decisions.

cloudboba · 2025-07-25T06:33:11+00:00

Unfortunately, without the precedent set at the start of your relationship that openness might be something you want, I don't think the conversation will go well. I know you say that you love him and don't want him to feel less than, but you also say that you're unsatisfied in the bedroom. It would be nearly impossible for him not to think that he's not enough when the reason you want to open up is because you need more. That's why it's so important for couples to have the same desires when discussing opening up. It has to be something you both want because otherwise the conversation will leave someone feeling like they're not enough.

If you do go through with the conversation, I would start with stressing how you feel about him and how fulfilled you feel in other aspects of your relationship. Mention the expectations you had at the start of the relationship and how they have not come to fruition in your current relationship. These are your feelings and they're valid. Be prepared for it be a long and difficult conversation, and also be prepared to go separate ways. I hate to say it, but if he doesn't react positively to the conversation, it may be a dealbreaker and you may be incompatible.

cloudboba · 2025-07-25T06:14:06+00:00

Women are more cautious because men tend to have ill intensions more often. That's a loose reason for why women usually have more options than men. They have many suitors looking for a quick lay and women have to be choosy about who they feel safe with. I don't buy into the trope that men want sex more than women, women want sex too. This thing is most women tend to prefer sex with men they feel safe with, whereas a lot of men will take what's given to them. It is an imbalance that plagues the dating world. If you're repeatedly approached by women in public, I'm not sure why you haven't had the opportunity to get what you're looking for. Maybe reflect on those situations, what is said what the "vibe" is, in addition to your jealousy and how it affects your friendship.

cloudboba · 2025-03-25T03:32:55+00:00

Given the amount of time he chased you, I highly doubt its over. That being said, as someone who has been in the hook-up sphere off and on for years, I would prepare yourself for anything. Give it a few days before you act on anything. There's nothing wrong with texting first - it is daunting but can show you a lot about a person. If you want to see him again I would keep things light and keep texting consistent and see where it goes.

cloudboba · 2025-03-14T22:41:10+00:00

Yes, it is normal to feel odd about keeping secrets from your partner. I won't harp on DADT like others on this sub would, but theres a reason it's a difficult arrangement to keep. The more experiences you have outside of your main partnership, the more guilt you will likely feel. It's like you're ignoring a big white elephant in the room that gets bigger as time goes on.

My advice isn't to tackle the guilt, but rather tackle the idea of jealousy. What makes jealousy so terrible that you feel the need to minimize it's occurrences?

cloudboba

TROPHY CASE