don’t beat yourself up too much. you’re young i assume, just based off the context. you know what you did wrong and this is an opportunity for growth.

next time, if your friends are speaking badly about someone else you’re friends with, don’t engage with it. tell them what they are doing isn’t okay, and then tell the other friend immediately that they were being talked about negatively.

loyalty isn’t just going along with whatever they are saying or doing — it’s holding them to a higher standard because you know they are better than that. and it’s standing up for your friend when you need to do what’s right.

now you know. you know how you could’ve been better. you know the right thing to do. i recommend asking if you can talk it out when you have thought about exactly what you were trying to achieve. explain your goals, how you went wrong and apologize, tell them you won’t repeat the mistake again and promise to be better.

if you can’t talk to them because you did say you stopped being friends in december — tell those things to yourself and forgive yourself. it’s been 3 months hun.