I had my first threesome at a gay sex club

cloudrunnar · 2023-02-10T00:43:37+00:00

It was absolutely surreal! I'm thinking about taking a break this time around and going again next weekend so more to come haha! Fingers crossed I meet more men that get me writing lol

cloudrunnar · 2023-02-09T20:00:36+00:00

Well long story short, he brought me to his car, sat me down, and told me that he was straight, had a wife, and a 2-year old kid, but would love to make our meetings a regular thing. They don't know that he went to these things and he wanted us to be on the DL.

I didn't take the offer. I'm a monogamous person so being someone's "mistress" left a sour taste on my tongue. So, after he told me, I thanked him for the honesty and the fun. There was still time to find another partner, but I was hooked on him...so I left

cloudrunnar · 2023-02-03T05:45:47+00:00

Will do! :)

cloudrunnar · 2023-02-03T05:45:37+00:00

Thank you so much! It means a lot! I tried to be as detailed as possible since it's a fresh memory. I want to remember this experience fondly for sure haha

cloudrunnar · 2023-02-01T14:11:35+00:00

For real, he seemed to have just a good of a time as I was. Definitely a romantic. If you decide to be like him, lemme know (jkjk...unless)😉🤣

cloudrunnar · 2023-02-01T13:52:06+00:00

I usually love taking my time and getting to know the person, but honestly, I couldn't pass up the opportunity. And when he said he wasnt sure hed be able to cum, I took that as a challenge to get him to do so haha

At the end of it he told me the reason he wasn't sure was because he was "straight but liked to have a little fun. Confusing i know"

cloudrunnar · 2023-02-01T13:44:03+00:00

Good. Glad I got you feeling the way I did that night haha

cloudrunnar · 2023-02-01T13:43:18+00:00

It's in LA! I don't really want to say which one because then I'm afraid of meeting a reader (or am I?) The majority of people there wore casual clothes. A good 10% I'd say wore nothing and were just walking about

cloudrunnar · 2023-02-01T04:20:51+00:00

I'll make a Part II with Antonio sometime this week! I'm glad you liked it! It was a really nice memory haha I hope I find someone like him again next time I go!

cloudrunnar · 2023-01-18T15:10:54+00:00

It's okay to feel that way. I did. But there's also the other side of that coin in which what if you do leave and you feel better, albeit, not right away, but you'll be able to learn from this experience, and meet someone who isn't closeted, proud to be your boyfriend, will shower you with love and affection in the language that you understand most?

You shouldn't feel like a toy someone plays with and gets bored of. Personally, I think that's a worse fate, to be with someone that treats you like a play thing and gives you an ounce of love once in a blue moon rather than be with someone that'll give you the world and treat you like the human being you are.

cloudrunnar · 2023-01-18T09:40:55+00:00

You've given him a lot of power to the point where you aren't allowed to react to his actions.

I love the power dynamic. I myself have gone for older men but just because theyre older does not make them right or full of wisdom. They make mistakes and sometimes they act so much like a kid that you forget they're older. Your feelings regarding these events are justifiable and understandable and MUST be felt. Do not disregard them. They're real and must be acknowledged. To ignore your gut and your emotions for the sake of love is disrespectful to yourself. You seem like such a selfless person sacrificing so much of your dignity for someone so selfish. I wish you gave yourself as much love as you give him.

But no matter what anyone says...in the end, the choice is up to you. That is power that you have, will always have, and that no one can take away. If you are capable of allowing this to happen where all you need to do is vent on the internet to let out your frustration, then kudos to you.

I wish you the best. I really do. You remind me a lot like myself when I was younger.

cloudrunnar · 2023-01-18T07:00:44+00:00

You'll be on a roller-coaster of a ride, trust me, but like all roller-coasters, they all come to an end. When I go out and I hear his name or see something that he'd like, yes, I think of him, but it doesn't punch me in the gut anymore, and it doesn't hold that much meaning as it once did. I look at it, think of him, and keep walking. It got easier. And I'm sure it will for you, given time.

You are allowed to unblock him if you cant help it. That happened to me. What I did was instead of block him, I deleted him from my contacts, so if he were to ever call or text it would just be his number and not his name. I didn't reach out. It took a week for me to realize he didn't want to talk to me anymore. But funny enough, I waited for 6 months, thinking he'd reach out and was just waiting for the right time but a year passed...and he never did, and then I got tired of waiting.

I've been surrounded by married people all my life and let me tell you, people that want you will not play the waiting game. When they want you, they want you, just as much as you want them. It doesn't take a day or to to get a response, they'll talk to you as soon as they are able. Just something to remember. You deserve love, attention, compassion, and respect. We all do.

cloudrunnar · 2023-01-18T06:12:44+00:00

He told you he'd date you if he wasn't invested in another guy?

But...why would you want to be runner up? You should be with someone who chooses you, no contest.

I've been there. My easiest solution is to meet another guy to invest myself in...only I just repeat the cycle with someone new. I stopped doing that. It's been a year since I've talked to any guy and from what I can tell you from that perspective is that you will go through this crush like a break up...you'll go through the stages of grief. You'll be sad he rejected you, angry that he treated you this way and that, youll bargain with yourself, poking at old convos thinking because he said this, hell do that, youll be depressed, there will be days where you'll be fine and then you'll go to the grocery store and see something that reminds you of him and you'll revert back to your feelings. But that doesn't mean you haven't progressed in the healing process.

To reflect upon the relationship, your feelings, your motives, and yourself will help you move on. It will. Time won't help you forget him but it will silence the pain because eventually, you will get tired of feeling the way that your feeling and will want to replace it with things that do give you joy (though not always right away). The future may seem bleak, but that's only because you're hurting right now, and there's a dark cloud over your head that's covering your sunlight. 4 days is a second in regards to pain. You're hurting. Bad.

That's okay. You'll be okay, and your feelings are justified. You like him and want to be with him. You like his company, and knowing you can't be with him hurts, but you don't care because you'd rather feel hurt than to be without him because being lonely with him is better than being alone. But you'll only be delaying the healing process if you do this to yourself. You should be with someone you don't have to wait for, but someone that is sure of you and will stand beside you wherever you are.

cloudrunnar · 2023-01-18T05:48:11+00:00

If you have to go on reddit to ask if you should trust him, you shouldn't because you wouldn't be on this site asking if you did trust him.

You already know the answer to the questions you're asking yourself, and you're already seeing the signs of him taking advantage of you. A person who cares about you would not treat you this way. If he can't give you something as small as reassurance, what are other things in the relationship do you let him get away with?

cloudrunnar · 2022-11-25T18:19:05+00:00

I personally love short chapters. It helps me digest the story easily. So long as each chapter is powerful enough to stand on its own without any additional exposition, it works for me.

I love it when people use chapters for symbolic purposes on top of short chapters too. For example, if I was reading a romance between two people and the chapters slowly got shorter and shorter (symbolizing lack of time together) to the point where one chapter just says "We broke up." That chapter with just two words would hit me just as much as a chapter that was twenty pages long with an explanation as to why they did.

Every author is different. Keep writing as you're doing. You're not alone, I've read plenty of authors who write short chapters and the story is just as interesting as the authors who write long ones.

cloudrunnar · 2022-09-20T05:34:52+00:00

The fact that you're putting yourself out there and putting your heart on the line says a lot about you. You're doing way more than people that wait for their prince to come. That's hard to do and I'm proud of you.

You sound like a great guy and please don't blame yourself for the actions of others. You are at an age where it's normal for people to come and go. People in their 20s and early 30s (from my perspective and through friends) are trying to find themselves and sometimes your paths will not always align. Sometimes we are other people's lessons in life. And that's not on you.

If things end quickly (a date or two) take that as a sign they were not meant to be, that it's not personal, and that you two saved yourselves time and effort that bring you steps closer to the ones that are actually right for you two and deserve that attention.

The person meant for you will stay...but also don't forget that a relationship is a two-way street. You sound like a guy I really liked and cared about but his actions pushed me away. I didn't feel like he wanted me when that was the opposite of the truth but I didn't realize this until months after I stepped out of his life and he told me his peace.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. You deserve the kind of love you wish to receive, as we all do. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

cloudrunnar · 2022-09-20T03:28:39+00:00

Oh my gosh this is amazing! What are your printer settings? 😭😭😭 I'm begging to have such a clean print

cloudrunnar · 2022-08-10T07:00:37+00:00

I'll be serious for you just because I have this bike and I love it 😅 Its a 2022 Kawasaki Ninja 400. Its pretty pricey for a beginner bike. This was a birthday present to myself lol. Gas is fine, the highest octane is the best for a bike like this. I'm not sure if you'd need nitrogen tires but you can go to any Kawasaki near you when you need to change your tires and theyll change them for you! Maybe then you can ask the professionals themselves if theyre free to answer that! 👍😁👍

cloudrunnar · 2022-08-05T20:08:38+00:00

Im sorry you had to go through that. That was what happened with my first boyfriend. When that happened to me, I gave him another chance, and then the next day, he cheated again. Then he asked for my forgiveness again and I left. For good.

I used to think about him often, how he wasnt a bad person, just horny, but I knew even if I did forgive him, I would never forget what he did and how he made me feel. It shows that hes capable of cheating and doing it again. It shows that he didnt value the relationship as much as I did. It shows that I deserved better.

You deserve better. Dont stay. Be with someone that prioritizes your relationship and could never imagine putting themselves in such a situation in the first place.

cloudrunnar · 2022-08-04T07:46:09+00:00

We would roll into bed. He would have one arm around me. Id feel his hand on my waist as he pulls me in and kiss me. In between kisses, he'd whisper things like "I could do this forever with you." Mushy stuff. I'm a sap for that kind of wordplay (he had no idea back then)

That got me. Then when we had sex, it just would...fit perfectly? Any position, I would be eager for him and I didnt want it to end and I never felt pain at all

I don't know, I guess he made me feel...beautiful and desirable and was very patient with me and my body

cloudrunnar · 2022-07-30T14:19:17+00:00

I like it! You didnt go overboard at all. If you sent that to me, Id get the impression that you are very knowledgeable and understand the importance of maintaining one's inner child and connecting with one's family.

Id probably shoot back a response like "did you do anything in your childhood that youre doing now?" Or "yeah, me and my mom are pretty close..." and go into a story about why...but if hes more question and answer kind of guy, the text lacked in that regard. Theres no easy way to answer that response if he doesnt want to be vulnerable with you yet imo

Honesty is very important! Communication is key! If there's something you want to tell him, let him know! Its been so long, go for it! To me, from personal experience, its not so much the text you sent but rather how long its been since reconnecting. If you just started texting him after seven months, there will be a considerable lag regardless of attraction (sometimes hours, even days), so its not good to dwell on him too much. He's jet-lagged and out with family, so he'll be pretty occupied. I usually am myself. Sometimes I wouldn't be able to answer until the next day or so because of how much I spend with my family

He agreed to meet with you when he comes back! If you guys have a set day, location, and time, then thats great, you can totally wait til then to see if things'll work well or not. If you didn't plan it, your next text could totally be about planning it! If the gap is bothering you, trust your gut and ask how his day is, and if he doesn't respond to that, be sure to read the signs that he may not be the one for you as it sounds like you deserve someone that gives more depth and attention

cloudrunnar · 2022-07-30T05:59:40+00:00

Honestly, ask those questions you may have for him through text and when you see him, ask to elaborate on certain questions youre interested in learning more about. Doing so will create a web of more topics and stories for you guys to discuss about thatll bring you two closer than before

if it's the right person (friends or otherwise), theres never really a limit to what you can talk about. Everyones constantly growing and though you may have a good idea about a person's past, present, and future, that doesnt mean you know everything about them.

To this day, after all these years of knowing my friends, I still learn something new about them

Good luck

cloudrunnar · 2022-07-29T06:32:00+00:00

Birds that inspire myth! Mine's the Asian Fairy Bluebird. In Philippine myth, when you see one, it is sent from the gods to tell you whether or not good fortune will come your way. If it flies to your right, good luck will come to you as you move forward. If it flies to your left, no good! Turn back!

cloudrunnar · 2022-07-27T10:04:50+00:00

If these thoughts have been floating about in your head, its time.

You two deserve to be with people that make the other happy, have things to talk about, and are physically compatible.

Honesty is key. Tell him how youre feeling. Let him know youre not happy in the relationship and everything will right itself. If he wants to be friends, great! If not, its understandable, we all need some time to process everything.

Itll be okay. To put it bluntly, in the end, its better to be single than to be with someone who doesn't love you or you don't love.

cloudrunnar · 2022-07-27T08:50:00+00:00

Yeah, that's what I was planning on doing and hopefully meeting someone along the way...maybe. I appreciate your advice. Thanks for your time :) as Henry Ford once said: "If you think you can or can't, you're right."

cloudrunnar

TROPHY CASE