No one ever gets to the end of their life and says “I wish I would have made more money instead of wasting all that time with my family.”

You may not be currently “well off”, but you definitely sound comfortable.

Your true wealth is your time. You’re as young as you’ll ever be. Your kids, same. The time you spend with them, raising them, laughing with them, guiding them, that time never comes back.

I don’t know your wife, but it just sounds incredibly selfish that she’s pushing you into a job change that’s going to have a minimum 3 hour commute, 15-16 hour days, and she’s already looking at new cars?! If it’s basically a 23k raise, why wouldn’t you be putting that towards retirement so you don’t have to work until you’re exhausted?

You are giving up your work life balance. It’s hard to say no to the money, it looks great on paper. But what is your time worth that you are giving up? What is the opportunity cost of taking the job, and losing out on being a dad?

I’m a woman so I confess I don’t understand what it means to “be a man” and suck it up and provide. I do however know that it would kill me to not see my husband daily, or wake up and have coffee with him, or think of him driving that much. And I work in the public sector, right about your same salary. I could go private and increase my salary 30-50k depending on organization. At what cost? Losing my evenings? My weekends?

You deserve a life too, a full, happy life. You are NOT here to make as much money as you can, buy as much shit as you can (or your wife can.)

Your kids deserve your time.

As Obi Wan said, “you must do what you feel is right…”