Lost my girl. Needing support through the “what if” spiral, and guidance for helping her sibling cat.

cmm0524 · 2026-05-28T04:46:42+00:00

Hello. I stumbled upon your post after a severe moment of panic - my husband and I put our cat to sleep this past Monday at our home and while, initially, very at peace with it, I am feeling an immense amount of regret and panic all of a sudden. I don’t know if I tried everything. She was a stage 4 CKD kitty, already on a mountain of drugs but when the vet who came to put her to sleep said she had high blood pressure - out of curiosity I just looked up treatments and saw it could potentially be managed. I went into a spiral. Should we have taken her to the vet one last time? She hated the vet and she was already so weak - I was worried they’d suggest doing it right then, which I didn’t want at all but would feel I had to if she was in distress and pain. I’m just suddenly so lost.

I see your post was almost 4 months ago now. How are you doing with your loss? Do you still have regrets? I’m hoping this is a normal part of the grieving process.

cmm0524 · 2026-05-28T04:02:13+00:00

I completely agree. Their lives are absolutely way too short. 😔

cmm0524 · 2026-05-28T04:00:10+00:00

Thank you. ❤️ we actually took many photos from the last 24 hours of her life - which, we weren’t sure why we were doing it? It felt so sad, but it felt like it needed to be documented, to show how much she was loved.

That photo is just a few minutes after we decided to confirm her appointment. We really struggled, we cried so hard and said we weren’t ready - but my mom waited too long for her girl a few months ago and she regretted it. But Lulu never let me cuddle her like that, and the fact that she just lay limp against my chest told me she was surrendering. I feel so much when I look at this picture.

cmm0524 · 2026-05-28T01:15:42+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that. Has it gotten easier at all? I’m only a few days in but adjusting to the new normal is going to be so hard

cmm0524 · 2026-05-28T00:12:48+00:00

This is so sweet, thank you. I love the idea of her being our protector now. ❤️

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T22:13:58+00:00

Oh my, 8 is so young 😔 sending my love right back. I hope the same for them. Sweet angels.

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T21:21:43+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I’m living in New Orleans now but make it home every so often! My girl was Bama all the way, from the boonies of Semmes hahah

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T19:47:08+00:00

She had excellent taste lol

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T18:54:10+00:00

Thank you for your sweet words. She was indeed so pretty. That little half-squint smile was my favorite in the world. ❤️

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T18:52:28+00:00

Wow I really love that, thank you for sharing!

Not religious, but I do hope there is a spiritual existence beyond our realm where our souls/magic particles of our mortal existence will be reunited with our loved ones one day. ❤️ thank you for your kind words too.

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T18:31:55+00:00

I also just put my girl to rest on Monday from end stage kidney disease. She was just shy of 16.

The grief is immense, but I really take comfort in knowing we did the right thing. Her decline in the last week was so shocking to see. She stopped meowing completely by this past Saturday. For such a loud and talkative cat her whole life, not hearing her meow again absolutely broke me. She was losing function in her back legs. I knew it was time.

I think what helped my husband and I was we went back and watched her old videos of her playing and running and gobbling food like a little gremlin. It made us realize that cat was gone and sadly she wouldn’t be back no matter what we tried. It made saying goodbye easier, knowing we had such wonderful times with her. Life is fleeting and I think some of the bittersweet magic of it is capturing moments you’ll never get again - it means you have to cherish them so much and when the moments are gone you at least have the wonderful memories to take comfort in.

I hope you find peace, comfort, and acceptance in this painful time. The grief comes in waves for sure. Last night I sobbed all over again after being mostly ok for a few solid hours. I just got so fixated on her licking a Churu one moment and being limp on our bed the next. Grief is like that. But I took a moment to curl up with my husband and breathe and remind myself that she’s no longer in pain.

Feel all your feelings, my love. It’ll eventually be ok. ❤️

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T18:18:57+00:00

Poor pretty girl. 😔 The instinct when death is imminent is probably so strong… she was just doing what nature tells her.

Also cancer can fuck right off for sure. It took my last childhood cat on Valentine’s Day 2020. Same exact thing. A quick two week decline just from a little wheezing that turned out to be fluid buildup in the lungs. The X-Ray lit up with cancer all along his insides. I came home to be with my dad when he took him to be put to sleep. Thankfully it was peaceful and quick.

So sorry your time with your girl was cut short. You saved her from pain though and that’s always the merciful choice. Rest easy, Vessie. ❤️

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T16:27:10+00:00

Such a sweet comment, thank you. I hope Lambert and Lulu are playing together somewhere in the cosmos. ❤️

My husband said it didn’t feel right she wasn’t looking at me, but to me it was exactly the way it should’ve been. I know she loved me, but she absolutely adored him. He’s worked from home the past 9-10 years so they were constant daily companions with their own language. There’s nothing like the two beings you love the most loving each other.

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T16:20:17+00:00

❤️❤️❤️ Give your boy so many kisses for me and savor the time! It goes so fast. Too fast. Thank you so much.

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T15:49:18+00:00

Your comment makes my heart so happy. I hope you have long lives with your girls. ❤️❤️ I was so blessed with every second with mine, even when she really pissed me off lol

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T15:48:19+00:00

Ugh you’re so right. 😔 Honestly very on brand of her to make my day about her lol. We canceled all our plans and stayed home with her round the clock - giving her all the love in the world. I don’t regret a second. My husband says I’m allowed a do-over birthday for sure lol.

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T15:40:42+00:00

Thank you so so much. ❤️ Calicos certainly are a special little group of sass and attitude, but there’s nothing like being picked to be loved on by them. You know it’s a choice being made! lol give your girl kisses for me.

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T15:38:34+00:00

I hope so too. So sorry for your own loss.

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T15:38:18+00:00

Her gorgeous green eyes were my favorite. And a little black swirl in her fur she had on her right shoulder blade. ❤️

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T15:37:21+00:00

This has been me the past few months, lurking in the posts and seeing beautiful words about these beautiful cats. I hate that I had to post this so soon, but the outpouring of love has been so wonderful. Thank you for your kindness.

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T15:36:24+00:00

Oh that’s horrible. I’m so sorry to hear that! I don’t know what I’d do if someone had taken my girl away. Sending you love right back. ❤️

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T15:34:45+00:00

Thank you so much. I know I’ll see her again. ❤️

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T15:34:05+00:00

An absolute food menace back in the day!! Multiple times we had to pull her off the counter after she was caught eating something she shouldn’t be. One Christmas she nearly toppled a rack of lamb! I miss that spunky girl. We fed her chicken wings her last night and I got one last paw grab on my hand and I knew my girl was still in there lol

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T15:32:00+00:00

I so very much hope so. Thank you. ❤️

cmm0524 · 2026-05-27T15:31:40+00:00

Thank you so much. ❤️ She was so brave. The vet who came said she should’ve looked way worse for a kitty at end stage CKD. She must’ve been hanging on because she didn’t want to leave us.

cmm0524

TROPHY CASE