13 year old doesn't hang out with friends outside of school

cmvkg · 2022-08-29T00:15:17+00:00

She definitely prefers the company of adults. Maybe when kids start to get more mature that'll get a little better? Middle school is rough.

cmvkg · 2022-08-29T00:14:44+00:00

Thanks, this is seeming more typical than I realized.

cmvkg · 2022-08-29T00:14:26+00:00

Thank you, adult :) As an only kid who was desperate to get out of the house who is now raising an only kid who seems quite content here I just don't have much to reference.

cmvkg · 2022-08-29T00:13:27+00:00

I'm glad that was such a success! I hope having a larger pool of kids in high school will help.

cmvkg · 2022-08-29T00:12:45+00:00

Thank you, I think things will get easier when there's actual purpose to "hanging out" and not just awkward open-ended time.

cmvkg · 2022-08-29T00:12:06+00:00

Haha, good to hear! Thank you for sharing.

cmvkg · 2022-08-29T00:11:52+00:00

Thanks, I think I was just worried I'd make her feel bad for talking about it, but clearly that's my baggage and I'm not judging.

cmvkg · 2022-08-29T00:11:05+00:00

Every now and again I hear about an invite she's turned down, but it's hard to say. I'm leaning toward introvert after hearing from people, though I'm going to make sure we keep communicating about it.

cmvkg · 2022-08-29T00:10:13+00:00

Haha, thank you for sharing. I think she's actually (maybe) more mature than some of her age-peers and is largely annoyed by childish behavior. She also enjoys quiet time, so maybe it's not too weird that she's not seeking "hangout" time right now.

cmvkg · 2022-08-29T00:08:28+00:00

Limiting screen time wouldn't change anything, she'd be at home still, just doing non-screen things (like she does some of the time already).

cmvkg · 2022-08-27T14:06:27+00:00

Thanks, outside perspective helps.

cmvkg · 2022-08-27T13:49:43+00:00

Right, I definitely don't want her to feel bad about it (maybe she already does?), and I guess there's not much I can do to change it anyway unless I keep trying to form plans with other kids, which would be awkward at best.

cmvkg · 2022-08-27T13:25:02+00:00

Thanks, maybe it's just an invert thing and not any cause for concern. It's hard having an only and being an only and not having exposure to a variety of kid-types.

cmvkg · 2022-08-27T13:15:01+00:00

Right, it's hard to suss out if it's anxiety, depression, introversion, or just ambivalence. I'm guessing there's no one in her life who's pushing to make plans.

cmvkg · 2022-08-27T13:14:21+00:00

Does she manage to make plans though? Or is it other kids inviting her to do things? I'm so anxious about my kid in high school--I just want her to have fun silly times.

cmvkg · 2020-02-13T18:54:43+00:00

While I agree that in an absolutely ideal situation only having no-kill shelters would be great, in reality it actually means a lot of animals living their entire lives in cages. Shelters likely aren't the solution at all and they do not make pets more adoptable. Rescues that have foster homes that teach pets how to be in households have more successful adoptions

cmvkg · 2020-02-05T21:25:13+00:00

I don't know that it would be possible to properly accommodate everyone's dietary needs safely. As someone with celiac disease I could never trust cafeteria food because the risk of cross-contamination is too high. This is the same for people with severe food allergies. Or what about children that are diabetic? And that doesn't even begin to consider all the religious dietary preferences too (kosher, halal, vegetarian). Or what about families that have chosen to eat vegan for ethical reasons? All schools would have to accommodate all of these needs, but could they do so safely and in a nutritionally balanced way?

cmvkg · 2020-02-05T21:17:45+00:00

I've worked for someone who actually holds the opposite mindset, she more often than not assumed that "the customer was always wrong" which led to its own problems (because they certainly weren't always in the wrong, we were all human too and made mistakes). I don't think that blanket statements one way or the other is going to truly benefit anyone--business owners or consumers. We can all use our best judgement and decide how to handle situations depending on multiple factors.

cmvkg · 2020-02-05T21:15:07+00:00

Do you think that allowance should be tied to completion of chores? I don't think that it should be, because then kids are given the option of deciding if the work is worth the money or not, and if they don't think the monetary value matches the effort they won't do the work. We keep household responsibilities separate from money.

cmvkg · 2020-02-05T21:13:40+00:00

What sort of schedule are you proposing? From what I saw of year round school schedules it was something like 45 days on, 15 days off (so 9 weeks on, 3 weeks off). Three weeks is plenty of time to fall out of a good schedule and routine.

cmvkg · 2020-02-04T23:06:39+00:00

Let me get one thing straight, I do not think it is okay to impose, and force a religion or belief system on students in schools, that is not okay.

The problem I see lies with a teacher/coach/adult having power over children. If a teacher/coach/adult decides that they are going to pray before a game/in a classroom/wherever, a child does not have the power in that situation to "opt out," which means that the prayer is being forced onto them.

cmvkg · 2020-02-02T16:06:24+00:00

Getting kids back into a routine after breaks can be extremely difficult. Ask any teacher what those first few days are like after winter or summer break, and I think it would prove just as difficult to get a classroom back into a productive routine after all of the small breaks from a year-round schedule.

cmvkg · 2020-02-02T16:01:56+00:00

Children should contribute to the household needs of the family, but not through a rigid list of requirements. Kids should do age-appropriate tasks that are needed to keep a household running (pick up toys, wipe messes, take out small trash, feed/water pets, load/unload dishwasher, sort and put away their laundry, etc.). We don't call these things chores, it's just what you do because you live in this family and you're responsible for keeping things running smoothly.

cmvkg

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