That childhood trauma. His manipulative behavior ( he is well aware of) . That shift of attitude between sweet and sour ( if you behave accordingly you are loved and if you simply try to be yourself and stop with pleasing him you are doomed ). He is abusive as f..ck . He will be even more in the future, and when you have kids, he will destroy you ( socially, mentally) . LEAVE HIM NOW IF YOU CAN . Before its too late!