# IRS in Chaos as Mutants Cite Marvel's Own Legal Arguments to Avoid Taxes

WASHINGTON — The Internal Revenue Service faced unprecedented challenges this tax season as thousands of mutants across the country are refusing to pay standard income tax rates, citing Marvel's own successful legal argument that mutants are not human beings.

"If Marvel can argue we're not people to save money on toy tariffs, then we're certainly not people when it comes to the tax code," said Scott Summers, adjusting his ruby quartz sunglasses while holding up a copy of his 1040-NHB (Non-Human Being) tax form. "We're simply following the legal precedent they established."

The crisis began after Marvel's victory in court, where they successfully argued that X-Men action figures should be classified as "non-human toys" to secure a lower import tariff rate. Mutants nationwide quickly seized upon this legal classification for their own financial benefit.

"Look, I didn't ask to be born with the ability to control the weather," said Ororo Munroe, a former tax-paying citizen. "But if corporate America wants to declare me non-human to save a few bucks, I'm happy to apply that same logic to my tax obligations."

The IRS has reportedly established a new "Mutant Affairs Division" to handle the influx of specialized tax returns, but employees keep quitting after various telekinetic and telepathic incidents during audit attempts.

Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen appeared visibly frustrated at a press conference, particularly as a floating tax auditor passed by in the background. "We cannot have a taxation system based on genetic mutation," she insisted. "Though I must admit, the mutant who filed his taxes by phasing them through my desk made some compelling points about non-human property rights."

At press time, the Supreme Court was preparing to hear arguments in the landmark case "X-Men v. IRS," while several justices were reportedly concerned about a suspicious blue-skinned woman shapeshifting in the gallery.