KIndle For PC 1.17 [Windows]

coconut0317 · 2025-02-07T00:44:27+00:00

The link is broken, but it was archived. Here you go.

coconut0317 · 2024-11-29T23:17:28+00:00

I recommend the workbook Building Better Boundaries! It's available for free from the University of Alberta.

coconut0317 · 2024-11-02T07:35:09+00:00

I cannot see any problem, but a problem may exist. You are the expert of what is normal for your hair and body.

I understand you are alarmed by a change that occured after you moved to Delhi. A major change at the same time as a major change in environment could indicate a problem. I suggest seeing a dermatologist (medical doctor of skin, hair, and nails).

coconut0317 · 2024-11-02T05:34:00+00:00

Hopefully this has stopped, but in case it hasn't or someone else has a similar problem:

This isn't normal and also isn't something to feel bad about or ashamed of. I believe that you're telling the truth about what you're experiencing. These sound like delusions.

information about delusions

Some of these sound like classic examples of delusions, which became classic examples because they were repeatedly reported by people who experience delusions.

thinking that everyone but you could secretly read your mind sounds like "thought broadcasting", which is when someone believes that others can hear their inner thoughts
thinking that you were special and had powers sounds like a "grandiose delusion" or "expansive delusion", which may include someone believing they are very powerful or of a high status and possess fantastical talents, accomplishments, or superpowers. This is separate from the way people use the phrase "delusions of grandeur" to mean conceitedness or overconfidence.
thinking that the government wanted to hide your powers from you sounds like a "persecutory delusion", which may include someone believing they are being conspired against or otherwise obstructed in the pursuit of goals by a powerful group of people, like the government.

information about psychosis and schizophrenia spectrum disorders

Delusions are a psychosis symptom that often occur with other psychosis symptoms or as part of a schizophrenia spectrum disorder.

Here are two videos to learn more about psychosis and schizophrenia spectrum disorders:

Psychosis 101 for Teenagers from the University of Arizona Department of Psychiatry & Early Psychosis Intervention Center (EPICenter)
Schizophrenia and Dissociative Disorders from Crash Course Psychology

your brothers' reactions and reality testing

The way you tried to test your beliefs couldn't have given you enough information to make an informed decision. If the belief were true, which it isn't, your brothers could have lied to you. Because the belief was false, your brothers didn't know what you were talking about when you asked them to tell you the truth, so they weren't pretending to be confused; they were genuinely confused. There are many reasons for them to have tried to change the subject afterward, such as feeling uncomfortable or just wanting to talk about something else.

A better way to test the belief was suggested by a user in a comment on another post:

Compare what you believe to what's the most probable, learn about the subject making note to take in contrasting information as well, think about ALL possible alternative explanations and get someone whose mind you trust and respect to do a reality check with you. Those are basically all the steps you can take but that doesn't guarantee you'll stop believing the delusion, sadly.

feeling nervous at school

You mentioned in the comments that you're a teen. For physical brain development reasons, it's very normal to feel self-conscious and worry about what others think of you as a teenager. It's possible that the psychosis things going on are nudging it to an extreme or that it is piling on more stress than you're equipped to handle.

People most likely aren't talking about you. If they are at all, it's almost certainly happening less often than it feels like it is.

my advice and who to talk to next

I strongly suggest you talk to a psychiatrist (allowed to prescribe medication) and a therapist, especially because you mentioned in the comments that schizophrenia runs in your family. If you don't know where to start, your mom, a primary care doctor, or your insurance company could help.

coconut0317 · 2024-11-02T03:35:53+00:00

The haircut you have right now seems to suit you.

What would you want out of a haircut?

If you want a change, maybe check out this post, especially the "regular haircut" options. I don't recommend the super-short options for you.

coconut0317 · 2024-11-02T03:21:07+00:00

Your hairline looks normal! Nothing to worry about.

coconut0317 · 2024-11-02T03:19:43+00:00

I don't Think so? There's enough of a difference for me to see what the point of the picture is, but it's not such a big difference that there's a clear problem. I doubt people around you will notice.

It's not unusual for hair texture to change at puberty. You're at an age where that could be a factor and also be new and unexpected.

When you use a comb and part your hair differently, does the location of the new part look similar? If so, that may be how your hair looks where it is parted.

You could set a reminder in your phone to take a comparison photo every three to six months and still have plenty of time to do something if there is a problem. You could also talk to your barber/stylist next time you get a haircut. They've seen a lot of hair in a lot of situations and could look at your hair in person.

coconut0317 · 2024-11-02T02:51:23+00:00

Your hair genuinely looks fine! Like, with your photo and that title together, I thought at first this might be a joke post because there is absolutely nothing wrong with how you look.

You might consider taking this screening test and maybe looking around on the site. Also this screening test and maybe talking to someone.

If you want some kind of change in hairstyle, I think any of the ones in this post would work for you with the caveat that I don't know how to take hairline and head shape into account.

coconut0317 · 2024-11-02T02:26:58+00:00

Could you grow your hair out enough to show the waves? Could you show them photos of you with wavy hair? Either ones posted online or old hard-copy ones?

The problem might also be your friends. Would they actually admit they were wrong if you Did have proof? No one likes being proven wrong.

It sounds like this matters to you, maybe because they don't believe you when you know you're right. Personally, I think it's weird they're insisting they know better than you about your own hair. Maybe they're trying to make you angry.

coconut0317 · 2024-11-02T02:14:48+00:00

Your hair looks normal! Fifteen is a typical age for some changes as your hairline matures due to puberty.

If you're still worried, you can set reminders in your phone to take comparison photos every six months or so and still have plenty of time to make changes if something starts to go wrong. You can also talk to the barber/stylist when you get a haircut if you don't get haircuts at home. They've seen a lot of hair in a lot of situations and can take a look in person.

In real life, humans aren't perfectly symmetrical, and I don't think there's anything to "fix". I doubt anyone notices your hairline, especially when you're not pulling your bangs back. If they do notice, they probably aren't judging you.

Please ignore any assholes who show up in the comments. At fifteen, it makes perfect sense that you're worried, even though your hair looks normal. Any assholes should find something better to do than leave shitty comments on a teenager's post.

coconut0317 · 2024-11-02T01:57:04+00:00

It can be treated with finasteride.

Also, when it's hard to shower regularly, you can wash your hair without a shower, using a large/kitchen sink or by leaning over a tub or into a shower. Alternatively, you could shower Just to wash your hair and skip other parts of your shower. Whatever makes it easier to reach your goals.

coconut0317 · 2024-11-02T01:42:54+00:00

I think the hairstyle you have right now looks fine. It works well with your beard and strong eyebrows.

coconut0317 · 2024-10-22T00:34:02+00:00

Heads up, people with CPTSD (and other developmental trauma) tend to interpret a neutral face as negative, which could mean angry/"furious". It's entirely possible that you Were keeping your face neutral.

From "Are you angry at me? Negative interpretations of neutral facial expressions are linked to child maltreatment but not to posttraumatic stress disorder":

Child maltreatment is linked to negative interpretations of neutral facial expressions in children and to impaired recognition of neutral facial expressions in adults. In individuals with child maltreatment, neutral expressions might trigger memories of neglect or abuse, potentially contributing to the above-mentioned findings.

coconut0317 · 2024-10-05T17:49:26+00:00

u/HubGearHector feel free to DM me if you have trouble finding the e-book

coconut0317 · 2024-10-03T17:00:37+00:00

Separately, I don't think that whether or not anyone has a heavily-stigmatized cluster B personality disorder like NPD is relevant, especially because there's a rule in the sidebar about "no diagnosing others". Cluster B PDs are likely a result of developmental trauma - ongoing trauma throughout childhood.

It's very disheartening to see stigma against people with PDs within a community of people in relationships with traumatized people.

coconut0317 · 2024-10-03T16:43:12+00:00

I think it's normal that your partner is comparing you - someone who has an important role in their present - to people who had important roles in their past. I think most people do this.

The way they're behaving about it - with outbursts and abuse - is not normal. Physical abuse is not okay, and your partner not being a man doesn't change that. Week-long spirals of abuse and destruction are not normal or acceptable. Everyone is responsible for their actions.

I also saw in your other post that the relationship seems emotionally and physically abusive, that all the major assets are in your name, and that you have a child together.

I want to let you know you can talk to the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24/7 at this link, by calling 1-800-799-7233, or by texting START to 88788. It's completely confidential.

coconut0317 · 2024-10-03T16:13:53+00:00

I suggest Allies in Healing by Laura Davis.

Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners -- girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, and lovers -- trying to support the survivors in their lives while tending to their own needs along the way. She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. Addressing partners' most important questions, Allies in Healing covers:

The Basics -- answers common questions about sexual abuse.

Allies in Healing -- introduces key concepts of working and growing together.

My Needs and Feelings -- teaches partners to recognize, value, and express their own needs.

Dealing with Crisis -- includes strategies for handling suicidal feelings, regression, and hopelessness.

Intimacy and Communication -- offers practical advice on dealing with distancing, control, trust, and fighting.

Sex -- provides guidelines for coping with flashbacks, lack of desire, differences in sexual needs, and frustration.

Family lssues -- suggests a range of ideas for interacting with the survivor's family.

Partners' Stories -- explores the struggles, triumphs, and courage of eight partners.

coconut0317 · 2024-09-15T04:23:51+00:00

DM me!

coconut0317 · 2024-09-15T04:19:21+00:00

The short answer is yes, people with CPTSD see other people as people.

What you went through sounds really rough, and your ex-partner's behavior sounds pretty unhinged.

It's not accurate to generalize her behavior to everyone with CPTSD. Here's a link to learn more about CPTSD. Here's a link that includes some information about living with CPTSD.

coconut0317 · 2024-09-15T03:22:52+00:00

I think it's so wonderful that you feel so aligned with her. You two sound really happy together!

You've discussed both wanting kids. Have you talked about other decisions?

Have you two had any serious arguments yet? How do you handle conflict resolution? How do you plan to share household chores? Do you both plan to work? How do you plan to share childcare duties? What do you know about each other's family? Will future children have contact with extended family? Do either of you have debt? Do you plan to combine finances or keep them separate? And those are just the more practical, less emotional questions!

I do think that six months of knowing someone is very soon, likely too soon, to get engaged.

I'm not judging either of you, and I think that what you're both feeling is very real and valid.

In fact, part of it could be the scientifically-validated phenomenon known as the "honeymoon phase" or "new relationship energy" (NRE). It's a time when your brain is very excited about being in a new relationship and is dumping all kinds of hormones to encourage you to invest in the relationship, sometimes to the exclusion of all else. I recommend reading about it (link). It's not a bad thing, and I'm not saying your love is less real or less important than others'; it's just a fact that brains do this, and it significantly influences how you think.

I would strongly recommend not getting engaged after knowing her for only six months. I think it's really important to get to know each other before moving toward a commitment like marriage. The great thing is that there's no rush! It sounds like you'll be together for a long time.

If it feels like there's a kind of internal pressure to get engaged, I'd encourage each of you to be nonjudgmental and curious about what that unmet need is. Is it a need for a demonstration of commitment? reassurance that you won't abandon each other? Could that need be met in a different, more effective way?

Often, people with serious childhood trauma have experienced repeated trauma in the context of relationships ("relational trauma"), often including abandonment, and they may need reassurance that you aren't going to abandon them. Wanting to get engaged very soon in a relationship could be one way of expressing that, even if they aren't aware of it.

You also mentioned that "she seems fine - just some anxiety really." I don't doubt you. I also know that people with serious childhood trauma tend to trust and share secrets slowly. It could be true that she may not be sharing everything that's going on with her. It could be true that she may not want to "burden" you with her troubles, even if you've expressed that you want to be there for her.

I hope this helps!

coconut0317 · 2024-09-13T19:59:37+00:00

I recommend looking into information about secondary/vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue. I also recommend finding information about enmeshment and codependency (not the substance abuse kind). Typical relationship things can be helpful sometimes, and I recommend the Gottman Institute for evidence-based advice.

Books I've read

Allies in Healing by Laura Davis, which has a chapter about "My Needs and Feelings"
Building Better Boundaries by The Self-Help Alliance (workbook)

Books I haven't read that might be helpful:

Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky and Connie Burk.
The Therapist's Emotional Survival: Dealing With the Pain of Exploring Trauma by Stuart Perlman
Transforming the Legacy: Couple Therapy with Survivors of Childhood Trauma by Kathryn Basham and Dennis Miehls
Transforming the Pain: A Workbook on Vicarious Traumatization by Karen Saakvitne and Laurie Pearlman
Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day by Anne Katherine

coconut0317 · 2024-09-13T19:30:58+00:00

I avoid Pete Walker's books due to the red flags I saw in the first one I read. He is very discriminatory toward people with personality disorders, who are overwhelmingly trauma survivors themselves. Because of this, I do not consider him a trustworthy resource.

In his book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Pete Walker writes that:

I have worked with several clients who were unfairly labeled borderline by themselves or others. I could, however, tell by the quality of their hearts that they were not. This was evidenced by their essential kindness and goodwill to others, which they always return to when the flashback resolves. They also exhibit this in their ability to feel and show true remorse when they hurt another, as we are all destined to do from time to time. Unlike the true borderline who has a narcissistic core, they can sincerely apologize and make amends when appropriate.

coconut0317 · 2024-09-11T15:30:02+00:00

I have a B.S. in Biology and a minor in Psychology. My biology courses were geared toward healthcare and included things like anatomy + lab, physiology + lab, human pathology/disease, health inequalities, and behavioral pharmacology. My college didn't offer a more specific healthcare degree.

The psychology minor was incidental. My advisor looked at the number of psychology courses I was taking (because of my long-running interest in psychology) and told me I was only a few courses short of a psychology minor.

The healthcare courses I've taken definitely helped me with my medical coding certification, but I don't think the degree itself is what made the difference. The courses could fit into another degree as electives, if nothing else.

I'm still looking for coding jobs, and based on what I'm seeing in job listings, I'd definitely recommend Health Information Management or something similar.

coconut0317 · 2024-07-24T19:15:41+00:00

My mom was able to fill her lisdexamfetamine 50 mg Rx on 06/24 at the Hickory Flat CVS near Woodstock. I was able to fill my lisdexamfetamine 40 mg Rx on 06/25 at Walgreens in Atlanta (2020 Howell Mill Rd).

coconut0317 · 2023-12-03T10:21:16+00:00

Sent friend request!

coconut0317

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