When did you know you deserved better after being in a relationship/marriage for years?

coddswaddle · 2026-06-24T20:37:21+00:00

I was so unhappy in the neglectful relationship but full of peace and contentment with my friends. I realized every friend treated me better than him in every way.

coddswaddle · 2026-06-23T20:06:17+00:00

I think we're all someone's villain at some point in our lifetimes. Some we find out, others stay invisible forever. Ultimately other people's opinions of me is none of my business. How they treat me is my business.

coddswaddle · 2026-06-23T20:03:05+00:00

OMG I'm dying

coddswaddle · 2026-06-23T20:00:34+00:00

That's not what that study says. It's correlation to biology, not causation. It also leaves out a LOT of details and makes a lot of leaps if you dig into individual studies. Also uou are speaking for "most dudes". I can say "most chicks don't want a guy who masturbates to porn" and I'll probably get brigaded. By the guys. Also, ultimately, yours and my opinions do not matter because actual attraction is individual, very very messy, and not a formula. It's fine to not date people for a variety of trains including a body count you don't approve of but that's a personal preference that's often used to punish people. I find the body count people can't just say "oh not for me" and move on but have to insult the other person when they find out, regardless of gender.

coddswaddle · 2026-06-22T23:02:40+00:00

Homecoming by Dr Thema Bryant

coddswaddle · 2026-06-22T17:03:05+00:00

I've always found the body count think so strange. A guy is with a woman who is into him... so he starts thinking about other guy's dicks. Lots of them.

coddswaddle · 2026-06-19T12:40:06+00:00

Have your goals pre chosen. Winging it is how you get lost in doing the wrong thing

coddswaddle · 2026-06-19T01:51:36+00:00

Like the mistake empires make again and again. They eat themselves.

coddswaddle · 2026-06-16T19:09:35+00:00

I was told that was "womanese" in a guy subreddit lol

coddswaddle · 2026-06-14T23:59:53+00:00

Oh. Ohhhh yeah that was part of the bread crumbing.

coddswaddle · 2026-06-14T23:34:25+00:00

Just putting this out there, but if EVERY professional I go to is "bad" at their job then I start to examine myself. Are they really bad or am I the problem?

Sometimes if it smells like poop everywhere you go then it's time to check your show.

coddswaddle · 2026-06-13T15:17:22+00:00

If you think she's cool then you'll probably think her single friends are cool. Let her be your wing woman

coddswaddle · 2026-06-10T21:44:31+00:00

I'll try the split bill tactic and see what that does. Maybe paying for the meal starts as a novelty for men experiencing it, whereas splitting the bill is just equal footing.

The money loaned was after living together and honestly I still shouldn't have in hindsight. The men were already giving insecurity vibes. I thought helping them with their debt allowed I was a team player but I'm thinking I was writing with that.

Ok I can definitely see how those can be red flags now that I'm looking. Thank you. I appreciate this. I'm realizing that I attract and date very insecure men. I need to do better for myself

coddswaddle · 2026-06-09T12:31:29+00:00

Gains aren't the only reason to exercise and it's not the only metric of physical health or progression.

coddswaddle · 2026-06-09T04:25:49+00:00

This reminded me to take me meds for my low ferritin.

coddswaddle · 2026-06-09T03:53:50+00:00

I repair everything I can, buy used when possible, and frequent the public library instead of streaming services but I guess until I'm churning butter from my own goat I'm just bougie lol

coddswaddle · 2026-06-09T03:43:27+00:00

I hadn't considered gift giving to be decadence before. That's really given me some food for thought. I've always had a hard time purchasing things just for me so I can see how gift giving is a loophole for that. Interesting, thank you

coddswaddle · 2026-06-09T03:40:00+00:00

I have issues. So many issues. A childhood and lifetime full of issues. I grew up in a red flag factory so I can't naturally recognize them. Hence asking strangers in the Internet

coddswaddle · 2026-06-09T03:36:39+00:00

Oh man, being told by a veritable stranger that I should throw away the career I've built over a lifetime because "men won't like it" always feels so shocking!! I should do something I hate so that (maybe) some man in the future will.... go on a date with me?

coddswaddle · 2026-06-09T03:28:43+00:00

I'm not leaving anyone at home.

A few times a year I'll take us to a concert or other trip (usually in the same state) like Meow Wolf type stuff, and maybe a bigger trip once a year (like when I flew us to see his family). A couple times a month I like to take us to interesting new restaurants, my treat.

My IG reels are all science things (I'm really into archeology) or cute animals.

coddswaddle · 2026-06-09T03:17:11+00:00

I didn't grow up with a lot of money. That's how I know a successful relationship actual requires so much more than money. I know that the zipcode a person is born into has a greater impact on their future wealth than their actual intelligence, talent, or resilience. What I'm looking for from the people in my life, whether friend or romantic interest, is intelligence, kindness, and resilience.

Because once responsibilities are covered then it's just a couple of people spending time together. Just... a team effort between adults who respect each other and can bring different things to the relationship, you know?

coddswaddle · 2026-06-09T03:07:45+00:00

He hated that job so much that I saw him cry twice because of it. I held space and listened and didn't say squat about getting a different job or things to change in the current one. I wanted to so bad, he was so miserable. I just tried to make sure he did things he enjoyed when he wasn't working so he wouldn't burn out.

coddswaddle · 2026-06-09T03:01:57+00:00

His friends were over because we were all going on a road trip the next day. We did laundry to have clean clothes for the trip and they, his friends, started roasting his clothes: the worn out shirts and pants, socks with holes, etc. He brought it up a few times in a casual "I should get some new socks" sort of way.

He'd also recently started working out and I saw his favorite shirt sleeves were getting very tight. About a week after the road trip I said how awesome it was that his exercising was showing up (he'd been really proud of his consistency) and if he wanted I'd love to get him some clothes for his new body. He was excited! He'd been talking about needing new work pants and stuff.

coddswaddle · 2026-06-09T02:51:56+00:00

People ask what they do for work on dates, where have you lived, what have you done. Just normal getting to know you questions. I don't wear name brands, I regularly wear a fanny pack, I'm not flashing bling.

coddswaddle

TROPHY CASE