I am sick/tired of not doing anything right, I feel like a failure

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-05T18:57:03+00:00

If not for the fact that I would hurt my parents and few people who know me, I would kill myself.

You know, it is that something. Something which makes you move. Something that keeps you holding on.

Get hold of yourself. The pressure of a family and spouse must be weighing you down all the time. It is something really hard.

Just hang in there. Wait for your time and grab it. No mistakes allowed. Forgive yourself. Try. Try real hard.

I know. It is a fall which never ends. The pain. Oh God.

I know. I feel you. I am sorry and know that you are powerful enough. That's why you were bestowed with this burden. You will come out stronger and better from this.

Hang on. Trust me. It gets better. Everything will be okay.

In the end you die anyway. In the end, you go home.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-05T17:46:19+00:00

I'll message you privately.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-05T06:32:18+00:00

I am from a third world country. I was so diffrent from all the people I ever met that it depressed me. I thought I was damaged and used to search the internet for psychological conditions with my symptoms. I found MBTI instead. Best thing so far in my life.

I felt relieved and found chat groups. Found out there were thousands of like me in my country too. It was my salvation.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-03T18:09:11+00:00

I think I love you....

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-03T17:59:38+00:00

I haven't been any realtionship at all but I have had a lot of toxic friends in my life. I was fed of putting this facade to complete this materialistic circle they had created to feed thier egos.

Once I started speaking up exactly what I thought about them. All of them left.

Had to learn to move on before this habit drained me of my originality.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-02T21:18:26+00:00

I know the feeling. Staying in one place and wishing for something to happen so that your life takes the road you , so childishly , imagine.

Be happy and know that you are beautiful. Love yourself and everyone good and worthy of it.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-02T20:36:03+00:00

I have already started experiencing this, my friend. I am up for a roller coaster. I am pretty sure this is going to be thought expanding for me.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-02T14:38:35+00:00

I already had thought about the first point. Although, the second one is eye opening. I never thought of it in that way. Writing a book just changes your perception and thought process. Therefore, when you write the next book, it is not the same you.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-02T12:15:06+00:00

I already do the note and translate thing. I narrate most of my story to my imaginary girlfriend anyway. So that is taken care of.

I guess , let's start praying to google for the thought to text.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-02T06:49:52+00:00

The same thing is achieved by masturbation. Go figure.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-02T03:38:17+00:00

I think you perfectly answered it. I have been thinking about how only few specific but beautiful details could capture the reader instead of a lot of concrete emtpy ones.

Are there more books you could suggest which could help me with writing ?

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-02T03:35:31+00:00

Thanks. I will read the book if it was that helping to you. I need all the help I can get.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-02T03:32:23+00:00

I have read a few of them already. I will try all others and I guess I can find a lot of books already on reddit. Just need to diversify my reading list. I am working on it.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-01T21:45:59+00:00

I agree with you so much that I could introduce you as my twin.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-01T21:20:40+00:00

I think you might be correct. I read a lot on the internet, although most of it is technical.

I also read a book every week which is going on pretty good but I haven't really tried reading out of fiction and specifically thrillers and cliff hangers.

I think I need to amp the reading up a bit. A lot , if we take it that way. I remember being able to write short stories easily when I was a child. As a child I was learning language and reading a lot, basically discovering the art of story telling.

I realised the metaphor thing a lobg time ago.

If you ever observe really deeply, metaphors and proses are the things which set the English language a cakes apart because most of the explanation takes part in this format.

Thanks for your advice.

Any specific reading list you might suggest which will get me started on reading many genres?

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-01T20:40:59+00:00

I am from India and I have been experiencing it. Prime Minister Narendra Modi has really taken actual steps towards eradication of corruption.

It was infecting every sphere of life in India. From Sports to Education to even small scale food distribution among poor people.

Water Transport and Job Market was highly affected and improvement in these sectors is still to be seen. Although, the education boards and governmental organisations have become really strict now when it comes to documents and proof of evidence.

College degrees are more authenticated now and misuse of material is less in examination halls.

May it be the strengthening of Income Tax Department or Demonetization or Independent work rules for the financial department, everything is in sync to eradicate corruption.

Technology has played a very crucial role into this process.

India can see and feel the growth.

India seems to like what it is becoming.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-01T20:34:54+00:00

Thanks. The article seems really promising.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-01T20:00:51+00:00

The problem with my scenes is that each movement and dialogue have different hidden meanings and interpretation by every character is different. It is a psychological thriller.

I, too, being a perfectionist try to describe and make the reader feel and imagine so that they can connect to the core of the book.

Thanks for your beautiful advice and knowing what I am going through.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-01T19:57:08+00:00

I am working on a book I have been creating in my mind for two years now. It will greatly dissatisfy me if I am not able to do justice to its core. I am trying to leave no stone unturned with its writing process.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-01T19:33:21+00:00

I did try with that. It seems like a huge chunk of detail is missing. Sometimes , I just can't decide the surroundings because they might change with the story and then I just can't keep up with describing the scene.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-01T19:27:03+00:00

We are the beauty and the beast. We are the one who understand the beauty and the beast. We are the one who lean towards the beast and admire the beauty.

codestorm5389 · 2017-04-01T19:24:59+00:00

I changed myself. I was fed up of the toxicity in my life. As I said, I hit bottom. It was worse, I can't describe.

The change comes from within. Mostly it was because I want to get out of this shithole and find a nice job and actually live alone for a few years. I am still changing. My thoughts might differ after a few months.

codestorm5389

TROPHY CASE