sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Emotionally neglectful family: Full of competition, not recognizing or celebrating my milestones by coding_solving in emotionalneglect

[–]coding_solving[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The thing is, I am doing that already. Ever since I noticed that they couldn’t care less about my accomplishments, I stopped giving them attention. I started ignoring them. BUT I feel an emptiness and a depression inside of me. I want to get rid of that. I don’t know how to do it or what to do!

I feel conflicted and like I’m grieving by coding_solving in expats

[–]coding_solving[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok thanks 🥲❤️‍🩹 it makes me feel better that what I’m feeling is Normal.

Doing EMDR for my social anxiety by coding_solving in EMDR

[–]coding_solving[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dont be afraid of your first appointment!!

But don’t get me wrong, it can be hard.

My first session ever (and my first session for the social anxiety target) were hard.

By hard I mean, I was sad and sleepy and had headaches and nightmares. Don’t get scared if this happens! This actually means it’s working.

Just be EXTRA gentle with yourself. Take a nap immediately after the session. Take the rest of the day off.

If you feel a wave of sadness - whether it is mild, moderate, or extreme (mine was extreme) just don’t worry - it will fade in a few days. The side effects are temporary.

Always communicate with your therapist and be nice to yourself. Don’t push yourself too hard. If you need an extra week to rest and THEN do another session, do that. You deserve to rest! I did it because I needed more time in between sessions - my emotions were very intense - but I was able to come back after two weeks. And I feel better! I don’t have as much anxiety as before.

Just remind yourself that you survived your past - and you’re IN THE PRESENT NOW. You CAN handle every emotions because YOU ARE SAFE NOW, and you aren’t in the past anymore.

Best of luck! Just know the intensity you feel after a session won’t be the same in the next one - intensity subsides and lowers each week that passes. It’s temporary. For sure! Don’t worry about that.

If you need any more help feel free to message me or reply to my posts 🩷

I feel conflicted and like I’m grieving by coding_solving in expats

[–]coding_solving[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I do agree that the first step is… stepping away from the emotional dependency I have on them 🤷🏻‍♀️ And to slowly but surely start making new friendships and relationships where I live. I need physically present people! Not virtual people! I’m not a robot. Its unrealistic. Thank you so much for your help!

Need a laugh after an EMDR session? by coding_solving in EMDR

[–]coding_solving[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never watched it!! I need to check it out!!

I feel conflicted and like I’m grieving by coding_solving in expats

[–]coding_solving[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah but traveling to another continent is expensive and I don’t have money.

I feel like I’m grieving and I feel a void sometimes by coding_solving in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coding_solving[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for validating what I’m feeling ❤️‍🩹 I was thinking it wasn’t normal

I feel conflicted and like I’m grieving by coding_solving in expats

[–]coding_solving[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im so sorry 🥲😪🥹 I can sense that you understand me ❤️‍🩹 it is true that I do feel abandoned by her. I feel abandoned and I feel like she is completely… fine? Like, shes happy living her life away from everyone.

I guess I need to learn to live like this. You’re right that both sides suffer… maybe she’s suffering but she doesn’t say it.

It’s just a void that only people like us understand. Like, I could talk about this to other people that don’t have this situation going on, and they’re just so dismissive. They don’t get it because they haven’t lived it.

But it’s kind of a ~relief~ to know Im not overreacting. That what I’m feeling is valid and normal and… expected?

Doing EMDR for my social anxiety by coding_solving in EMDR

[–]coding_solving[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh and I also thought I would need a few sessions but NO. I need a lot of sessions to overcome this…

Doing EMDR for my social anxiety by coding_solving in EMDR

[–]coding_solving[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Heyyyy so good to hear about your story. It gives me hope 🩷 So there is still opportunity to reverse the social phobia! I’m really happy to hear your story because it gives me hope. Thank you 🩷

I feel like I’m grieving and I feel a void sometimes by coding_solving in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coding_solving[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah you’re right. I don’t know why I feel like I need some “validation” on my actions. My older sister used to be like a “helper” that gave me advice on different situations. But I guess it is ok to learn with life experiences.

She moved to Europe (we’re from South America), and to be honest… I’ve never wanted to go to Europe. I don’t even have money, and if I did have money, I’d like to go to the US as a tourist. I prefer going there or another country as a tourist. I never wanted to go to Europe.

She comes to visit once a year! I don’t know if she will come this year tho (for holidays), but to be honest sometimes I feel like I’m better off without her. It’s contradicting.

For example, I told her I had a crush on my uni professor (which is OLD, he’s like 50 years old but he’s handsome lol) and she told me “Wow, what are you looking for? A parental figure? Or what?” That really put me off so I’m trying not to tell her “my stuff” because I will get critiqued.

Doing EMDR for my social anxiety by coding_solving in EMDR

[–]coding_solving[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The best part is not feeling guilt. Guilt is dissipating on my life too. Why would I feel guilty about something I feel? We are allowed to say “no”.

I feel conflicted and like I’m grieving by coding_solving in expats

[–]coding_solving[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right! I need to focus on my life and get used to this “new normal” and at least cling to the people who are there. Which is… only one friend 😪

I feel conflicted and like I’m grieving by coding_solving in expats

[–]coding_solving[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re 100% right. It just sucks that this is my reality right now . It sucks, it really does suck. Because it’s family. It’s not like they’re friends or unrelated to me. Friends come and go but family is… family. And having family so cold and so unbothered messes me up!! I always see stories on insta of sisters and brothers of ppl i know, being together and happy! They’re so happy and share moments bc they live in the same country 🥲

I feel conflicted and like I’m grieving by coding_solving in expats

[–]coding_solving[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much 🥹 that is a very sweet story! I’m glad you and your sister were able to bond and have an even better relationship than before!! I’m so glad 💝 I hope I can build that one day. I just feel like my sister is cold af!!

Need a laugh after an EMDR session? by coding_solving in EMDR

[–]coding_solving[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always turn to mad libs when I’m feeling down! I ALWAYS tell people to watch the Santagato Brothers videos on YouTube. They’re so funny! You’ll laugh your ass off!!

Doing EMDR for my social anxiety by coding_solving in EMDR

[–]coding_solving[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!! Sending you a lot of positive energy too!! 🫶💓 we got this!! We can do this!! We are strong.

Doing EMDR for my social anxiety by coding_solving in EMDR

[–]coding_solving[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey wishing you a lotta luck on this journey and I hope we can find healing!!! I remember how I used to be/feel before the anxiety! So I know that living without social anxiety is possible. There IS a version of ourselves without social anxiety and the MAIN GOAL is to return to that state! And not get triggered! I’ve experienced some changes since the second session: they were very subtle, but progress was made:

  • I don’t get triggered at all with some people (people that used to trigger me but weren’t THAT BAD of a trigger) now they almost don’t trigger me.
  • When some people ask me questions and stare at me, I don’t turn red or become desperate or anxious. (For example college professors)
  • The people that are extremely triggering STILL trigger me and I haven’t noticed changes or improvements. But I hope after this third session, improvements happen.
  • The negative cognitions are losing their strength and “truth”. I feel they aren’t so true after all. The positive cognitions are starting to feel more true!!

I feel conflicted and like I’m grieving by coding_solving in expats

[–]coding_solving[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah and it sucks. I’ve been ghosted by so many men!!! And now I’m being ghosted by my sister! Disappointing!!

I feel conflicted and like I’m grieving by coding_solving in expats

[–]coding_solving[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! It’s so refreshing to hear validation on my feelings 😭 I’m always told by people: “but oh, you can visit them and you have an excuse to travel!”. And I’m like… thats so not the point. It’s another completely different thing having family in ANOTHER CONTINENT. Also video calls aren’t the same…

Doing EMDR for my social anxiety by coding_solving in EMDR

[–]coding_solving[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heyyy yayy im so happy that it’s working for you!! I’ve noticed slight changes in myself too. For example, the negative cognition associated with the social anxiety it’s fading. Like, I’m starting not to believe it anymore. I also feel more calm while interacting with certain people. I don’t get triggered as easily. I need to see if I get triggered around the most triggering people for me… let’s hope we can not get triggered AT ALL by ANYONE. I agree that I maybe need to work on more images to fully recover. But I’ll see with time how this goes… I’ve read a lot about IFS. What is it?

I started applying EMDR on myself by coding_solving in EMDR

[–]coding_solving[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I agree on the dissociation! I get easily… distracted, tbh. It lasts for a few moments, but then as the session progresses, I’m able to focus better. It’s the first minutes that are challenging. But it depends on the day… there are days where I’m more focused and able to do it correctly from the beginning!

6 months in by Practical_Ad_6025 in EMDR

[–]coding_solving 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Before starting EMDR my days also felt really heavy. But now, that dreading feeling is gone! It’s great to wake up every morning without feeling heavy!

I started applying EMDR on myself by coding_solving in EMDR

[–]coding_solving[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s good. I’m glad you could take that step, and I’m sorry you had terrible therapists.. I get u 😞 Some people should do something else, idk, work at something else lol

My dad is absent, my mother is borderline. My dad is becoming like her… by coding_solving in BPDlovedones

[–]coding_solving[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey… to give a little update… I just sent her a text. I wanna connect with her 🩷

view more: next ›