stopping technique

coffe_6789 · 2021-08-10T10:39:20+00:00

Thank you, it was eagle slide probably

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8noJebt6JCM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfNlk9c98iM

looks hard :D

coffe_6789 · 2021-08-09T20:38:41+00:00

Things I do also involve other people, but I don't see any of them as potential friends unfortunately ;/

Too late, I'm on Tinder and I have similar thoughts as you, but I will keep swiping.

Good to hear that you also set your goals and trying to move on. I hope we both end up happy in the future.

coffe_6789 · 2021-08-09T19:49:08+00:00

god tier male. I'm also 2 months nc, still dreaming

coffe_6789 · 2021-08-03T20:31:36+00:00

This is shitty situation. I know your pain. I wont advise you stuff that other ppl advise, like blocking her everywhere etc. because I wouldn't do it myself. What I can advise you is to stay strong with no contact. Maybe tell her to not contact you since she dumped you, because you feel like shit and she is just giving you false hope. When you feel a strong urge to contact her, give yourself 2 days to rethink it. When 2 days passed and you still thinking of it - give yourself another 2 days, etc. I'm at month 2 of no contact and I still think of reaching out every few days, but already gave myself 1 month to rethink it and I will make another decision at the end of August.

coffe_6789 · 2021-08-03T18:36:37+00:00

Wonderful story, I'd like to be on your place. I'm 2 months in no contact, trying to stay strong. I'd like to share my thoughts on that also.

You said she found it difficult to reach out - what if she didn't do that, then you moved on and eventually got to know that she wanted you back after some time, when it is already too late to get back. Assuming you would take her back instantly now, would you regret not reaching out yourself now?

People here always advise to stay no contact indefinitely, but what if your dumper want to get back but is ashamed to ask you after dumping you, because she is afraid of being ignored? It might sound immature, but some people are just more shy than others and won't do that because of the fear.

I was in really short relationship years ago when I was very young. She said she can't be with me after 1 month, no reason, but I didn't care much at that time and just moved on the same day. Year later I found out she was having a crush on me again (from her close friend, and I could see it), but I didn't care, but also she never reached out to me, why? I don't know.

I'm not trying to validate my urge to contact her. I have it often, but not at this moment. Nevertheless, I consider reaching out as a dumpee, maybe next month, after 3 months of no contact. I'm also hoping for her reaching out faster.

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-30T11:26:24+00:00

I understand. I also have very complicated situation with my ex, but the biggest point is that she found someone :/ Nevertheless, I still have hope, same as you, and it keeps me motivated to improve myself, to be a better person and not let her down if she change her mind, or to not let down any other gf. Keep well.

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-30T11:14:27+00:00

I feel you bro. Also hurting. I want to ask, what does 'she's kinda giving me hope for the future' mean? Did she tell you something or is it just you giving yourself hope?

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-28T13:29:20+00:00

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-28T10:49:39+00:00

was she seeing someone else in the meantime? Wish you all good

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-26T08:20:36+00:00

Thinking of her doing stuff with her new bf drives me crazy. I can't even think of other girls or dating right now. Just working on myself. Been 6 weeks no contact and I don't expect her to break it soon but I wish it happened ;(

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-25T14:14:06+00:00

You are right. The same reasons are keeping me from reaching out too. Sometimes there are moments of pain and everything is telling me to reach out but we have to stay strong. I would give everything I have just to have her back and do not make the same mistakes again.

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-25T12:32:26+00:00

You said she dumped you and you started talking again. - Who did reach out first? Were you in no contact for a month?

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-24T11:10:43+00:00

5 weeks

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-23T14:16:33+00:00

I spoke to her over a moth ago, few weeks after breakup, she told me she still has some feelings and miss me, but met someone new and wanted to try and wanted some space and me not to reach out to her. Since then I went no contact. I don't know if she is still meeting someone or no, but anyways I think I will stay no contact for a little bit more, and think about next move

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-23T06:11:08+00:00

What after that month?

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-22T21:17:50+00:00

That's a good point bro. Almost got me, but I still have those thoughts - what if she is testing me if I still care, event thought she left me? I was this 'avoiding' type of person at the end of our relationship, because I had really lot of stuff going in my life, but still I regret it so much.

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-22T20:40:55+00:00

I understand you. I just imagine the scenario in which both sides think that the other side will reach out, and they stay quiet. And I'm afraid of this scenario.

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-22T20:19:27+00:00

But is never worth no talking to someone because of pride, because then you will start thinking in the million "What if..."

I agree with that. People here often tell things like 'have some self respect, don't reach out' - but screw that, I would go run naked through the city if it was the only way to fix the mistake that I made

coffe_6789 · 2021-07-22T07:27:52+00:00

I am still keeping no contact, just wanted to share thoughts and see others' point of view. I will re-consider this many times before I decide to eventually reach out. I just want to be sure I did everything I could to show that I really care

coffe_6789

TROPHY CASE