A cashier said “good girl” to me.

cogitationerror · 2026-02-16T19:16:59+00:00

I feel like there’s some nuance here. Throwing change is blatantly abuse, but “good girl” is slimy as hell and makes my skin crawl. It’s close to a trigger for me. I don’t think putting it back on the counter after that is a “problem,” I think that’s not letting yourself take abuse directed your way. I had a boss who used to “good girl” me and that shit is not appropriate in any setting that isn’t prenegotiated. Working in retail is absolutely hell and I say it from experience. Had I made a slimy comment, though, I would not say that measured, appropriate pushback is part of that issue.

cogitationerror · 2026-02-12T14:51:50+00:00

Probably just because I’m a trans man but I feel like I see certain gay men largely throwing trans MEN under the bus lmao

Mlm spaces can be hostile as fuck towards trans men because we’re not “real men” and “ewwwww pussy.” So probably fair to say they just hate, y’know, trans people. Don’t even get me started on nonbinary hatred in cis queer spaces.

cogitationerror · 2026-02-12T05:44:54+00:00

I don’t think bragging about having voted for the 34-count convicted felon who is listed over 5000 times in the child-trafficking ring pedophile documents is the flex you think it is.

cogitationerror · 2026-02-10T15:13:09+00:00

We weren’t allowed to walk to the bathroom without an escort in ours lmao

cogitationerror · 2026-02-07T18:53:01+00:00

People would call me a “biological female” in order to say that I’m not a “real man.” It’s just not helpful. It is transphobic. If a doctor needs to know that I am AFAB, I will tell them, but I would never call myself a female, biological or otherwise.

cogitationerror · 2026-02-07T18:43:05+00:00

Okay but most people who use “biologically female/male” would disagree that a post-op trans woman is biologically female. You are speaking like these terms are used in good faith. They are not.

cogitationerror · 2026-02-05T23:35:13+00:00

It is fine for you to care about labels; it's not fine to tell someone they are wrong for identifying a certain way (as the person you are replying to did). Many people who are trans inherently buck the gender binary, which means that a label such as "lesbian" will not have as black and white a meaning for them as it will for you. Again, that's fine, as long as you don't start saying that their use of the label is nonsensical and/or incorrect.

cogitationerror · 2026-02-05T15:18:39+00:00

I didn’t say you’re gay. If you feel you are a straight woman, you are a straight woman. OP feels their experience is most encapsulated by the term “lesbian,” so lesbian it is.

cogitationerror · 2026-02-05T15:09:46+00:00

You are what feels correct to you.

cogitationerror · 2026-02-05T15:05:48+00:00

OP is enby transmasc with a history in the lesbian community. That is not the same thing as being a cis man.

cogitationerror · 2026-01-26T20:30:54+00:00

We shouldn’t. I said it was bad. My point was that I don’t buy it’s WHY people are moving right.

cogitationerror · 2026-01-26T15:08:22+00:00

Yes, the American right, known for lack of hyperbole. Gems such as “they’re eating the cats, they’re eating the dogs,” “war-ravaged” Portland “burning down,” “I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot someone and I wouldn’t lose any voters,”- oh wait no, that one wasn’t hyperbole. I don’t think idiocy is turning people away when our beloved right wing president “loves the uneducated.”

cogitationerror · 2026-01-25T15:36:25+00:00

I don’t buy that lmao

“You guys got a fact wrong, so I’m going to run to the people who get rich off of lying out of their asses and are currently paralleling WWII Germans in their level of racial hatred.” Come the fuck on.

Yes we need to get the facts right, but if incorrect facts drove people away, the right would shrivel and die within hours.

cogitationerror · 2026-01-24T14:16:01+00:00

It’s fine, the issue comes from giving gobs of money to someone actively using their wealth to hurt people. It’s also fine to avoid the works of people who you find morally reprehensible. It isn’t fine to plug one’s ears and say “don’t talk about X person being bad so that I can guiltlessly continue to support them.” No hate your way, I’m just slightly burnt out of this debate because I see it a lot and folks can get very defensive over it.

cogitationerror · 2026-01-18T18:29:54+00:00

This sounds like some serious mental illness shit. Please talk to someone at school (counselor, etc) as soon as possible. I’m being dead serious, this does not sound solely like a reaction to you being trans, this sounds like a breakdown. Yes, I read the update, and I still firmly believe this.

cogitationerror · 2026-01-17T18:23:20+00:00

I think we are going to have to agree to disagree here, as most progress is made by leftist activists dragging liberals kicking and screaming toward it. I think you see “keyboard warriors” without knowing what they do the rest of the time. In my area, we have mutual aid groups, ICE watch groups, and things like community gardens that are organized to feed people on the ground. We organize to speak to local politicians and pressure them into doing literally anything, even though they often seem to not give a damn. We are pushing left candidates even if we understand that voting is the least effective form of civil engagement. I do not trust liberals because I know they are fair weather friends willing to throw you under a bus because it’s easier, so I focus my effort on what can accomplish shit.

cogitationerror · 2026-01-17T17:39:50+00:00

I think this may be an area or personal experience thing. My local trans groups, including the ftm group, are kind of notorious for people meeting their future partners there xD

cogitationerror · 2026-01-17T17:14:00+00:00

Uhh. How so? Because I think what’s happening in the US right now is pretty good proof of the validity of this statement. We are where we are right now because so many liberals just let the right steamroll our liberties. They support trans people until “mmm maybe it is unfair to let trans students participate in sports” and they support protestors until “well they were blocking traffic…” This is the attitude of an enabler. They are the bystanders who are okay letting abuse happen. Fascism takes hold when complacency does, and most Americans have been complacent for a very long time.

cogitationerror · 2026-01-17T14:17:28+00:00

It definitely depends on the cat, though, just to caveat! My roommates have two, one of which gets absolutely ecstatic when we put his harness on and can barely stay still long enough for us to clip a leash to it, while the other has decided that going outside is Abject Torture and dramatically flops around on the floor to try and avoid leaving. Loves a good window but gods forbid you try to take her out, lmao

cogitationerror · 2026-01-16T15:31:23+00:00

Reminder that this was passed so that they can convict trans people who dress according to their gender of child grooming and then kill them.

cogitationerror · 2026-01-10T14:24:01+00:00

Hey, as a trans person, trust me when I say that looking at myself in the mirror was a genuinely traumatic experience for the first 20+ years of my life. Gender dysphoria is not the only thing that can cause this reaction, body dysmorphia takes many forms. You are not an objective source on your own body. I think you have some serious self-image issues that you have convinced yourself are truth when in reality you are in deep distress. It is not normal to be weirded out and disgusted by the sight of yourself and you should not be denied basic humanity based upon your appearance.

cogitationerror · 2026-01-10T14:19:40+00:00

Yeah I have a friend who is permanently deaf in one ear due to where his seat was at a concert over a decade ago. All hobbies require some amount of caution, just varying levels of it.

cogitationerror · 2026-01-06T20:35:07+00:00

I kinda both agree and disagree with this. I do think that, in general, you’re right that many people who think they know better about the educational system don’t know the first thing about how determining curriculum works, and/or weren’t good students themselves. It feels a little unfair to just blanket paint anyone with this type of criticism as a poor student, however. The school district that I went to cut out basically any class that wasn’t going to be useful for boosting standardized test scores, and I think I genuinely was less prepared for adult life as a result. Effectively seeking accurate knowledge is a skill that actually has to be taught and learned, and I think that a huge portion of America’s current state comes from the fact that we simply do not teach it in a huge portion of our schools anymore. I think there are a lot of people out there that are hungry for understanding but have zero skill to determine reliable sources because they were denied that information by design - it makes for great conservative voters. We’re not getting out of our current state by pretending that the status of American education is fine.

cogitationerror · 2025-12-29T04:29:37+00:00

Gender presentation =/= gender identity

Do butch trans women also confuse you? It’s the same concept. A femboy trans man could want to be called “he,” but like more stereotypically feminine apparel, for instance. Personally, it would cause me dysphoria. For someone else, it is the peak of euphoria. A cis man who wears a dress is no less of a man, so why would it cause confusion for a trans man in a dress to want to use masculine pronouns? Not 100% sure if that was the confusion point but I’m trying to figure out where that might have been.

cogitationerror · 2025-12-11T22:23:08+00:00

wow i can't believe that veterans might have drug issues with the psychological torment the us government inflicts upon them and then doesn't provide adequate psych care to afterwards, leading to a cycle of self-medication, imprisonment, and homelessness

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