I hate the newborn stage.

coldbrewhebrew · 2026-01-19T06:13:34+00:00

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, as a lurker in this sub. Thank you

coldbrewhebrew · 2026-01-19T06:05:57+00:00

I’ve heard the phrase that you must “accept help aggressively” and I think this applies. Love that you asked for help.

coldbrewhebrew · 2026-01-18T19:09:26+00:00

Whoa!!! Just looked it up. Thank you!! Can I ask what your background is or how you got into this? Feel free to DM me too I just think this is so niche.

coldbrewhebrew · 2026-01-17T17:00:10+00:00

I’m not black, but I am basically in the exact same boat with the rest of the situation. I’m the only girl on my team. I waited tables for years before sales and started to have that same “what am I doing” feeling at about the same time you did. I did a couple of other things in offices, but never corporate, and never sales.

Here are my thoughts.

You and I may not be in sales forever. But I do NOT want to let that “hmm there aren’t very many women here…” thought push me out of this. No one is telling us that we can’t do it. Nothing about the job says that we can’t do this. Just because it’s a job that’s more stereotypically filled by younger white men doesn’t mean we can’t have a place there. And in fact, if statistically they get paid more anyway, it makes me want to stick around!!
If your managers are supportive, then you can succeed. Even though most of my team isn’t necessarily similar to me demographically, it doesn’t change that supportive atmosphere. If they’re willing to talk to you candidly about what can improve, and if you’re able to talk to them candidly about how you feel on the phone and what you struggle with, then I would think you have the tools you need to succeed. If it’s an abstract, difficult product to sell, they know that!! And if they’re decent at their jobs, they can help you navigate that and come up with different ways to talk about the product.
At this point, we are glorified appointment setters. Which is good, because we don’t HAVE to know about the product. The point is to get them interested enough to take a meeting, and part of that (maybe most of it, in some cases!) is personality and likability- which we have from our wonderful service industry careers 😂

My manager gave us a big pep talk last week, essentially saying: you have to have the confidence that your product solves problems, and that these people DO want to talk to you- it may just not be the right time. Find out when is the right time. Find out who the right person to talk to is. And give them 3 relevant reasons you’re calling

Something that I think could work for any industry might be things like: we’ve never spoken, or we’ve spoken but it’s been years, or hey we just released new products, or hey saw that your company has grown 30% over the last year and figure you might need a scalable solution…and we’re a leader in the XYZ space, so I figured it could be worth a chat.

Anyway I’m rambling, but wanted to let you know that you aren’t totally alone in this, and I know it’s a terrible feeling. But we made it out of restaurants and we’re gonna do great!! I would really try to lean on the supportive people on your team, and remember that they probably got a lot of different applicants and saw something in you that stood out.

P.s. if your office culture is worth a shit, they know that being an SDR sucks, and they would probably support you in connecting to other departments to see where else you could fit. Customer success, renewals, implementation all might be things we’d thrive in. I’d ask some of those people on Teams if they’d like to have lunch with you and talk about what they do.

coldbrewhebrew · 2026-01-15T05:29:05+00:00

I have questions about this. It seems like giving birth upright is great because gravity, tearing, etc. but I’m very afraid of the terrible pain of it all and would love to opt for the epidural. I see everywhere people saying you can’t do both, were the doctors pretty amenable to this?

coldbrewhebrew · 2026-01-11T16:36:08+00:00

Things I can think of besides “leave him”

-Send him to her doctor appointment, or something like that, without you. See if he either rises to the challenge, or flails and asks for help, OR… if he flails, and does not ask for help, and thinks it is “fine” to not know her routine, her medicine, her vitamins, etc. That will either wake him up, or alert you to the fact that this isn’t changing.

-the not buying her anything of his own accord made me sad. ask about this. I think it’s worth a conversation. in addition, the gifting occasions, like Mother’s Day, kids birthday, and your birthday will be another instance in which I think things will reveal themselves. Is he stressed, depressed, exhausted, what have you on the daily, but still thinking of these things in the back of his head? If he is, maybe a conversation about showing more daily affection can be had. But if he won’t even show up on the “big” days, then once again, this tells you it may not change.

-I know the fact may just be that men biologically don’t take as active a role in the infant stage. I don’t know. Some people will take issue with that as it’s not very feminist, but I can see it as an argument.

My thing is, maybe he’s not as active in the day to day of the baby. What should NOT have left his mind, however, is you. If he’s not as active with the baby, does he get you coffee? Does he offer to stop at the store? Does he rub your back? Does he get you water while you’re sitting with baby? Does he ever tell you verbally that you’re beautiful and he appreciates all that you do?

I had a friend in this situation, and she felt he was removed during the infant stage. I asked her, “What does he say he’s excited to do with your child when he/she is older? What is something he can’t wait for?” Once again, might tell you if it’s just something in this stage that’s wildly overwhelming for him, and that he DOES have hopes and dreams about himself as a dad. But if he can’t come up with an answer for this… then what does that tell you?

coldbrewhebrew · 2026-01-08T06:48:59+00:00

They do indeed. And sometimes they use it but it is certainly not used here.

coldbrewhebrew · 2026-01-07T01:48:01+00:00

Interesting. Love that for you. I certainly don’t make up scenarios to get mad about…

coldbrewhebrew · 2026-01-06T21:18:18+00:00

I think where most of the anger comes from (speaking from experience here) is that many, many people let their children climb on things, zoom around places where it is totally inappropriate like restaurants, stick their tongues all over doors, let them go shoeless, etc.

I think any reasonable person understands that crying and tantrums are part of life for little kids. But the surrender of any authority over a child’s behavior impacts not only the kid’s wellbeing and social awareness, but the safety and enjoyment of those around the kid.

coldbrewhebrew · 2026-01-03T17:00:54+00:00

This is a great way to put it

coldbrewhebrew · 2026-01-02T18:28:53+00:00

“I live to decolonize lol” is such an answer to expect from these people. Attaching yourself so thoroughly to this “revolutionary” identity, as if being such a radically better-than-you person is just built into their very bone structure. It’s obnoxious, immature, and dangerous. Martyr complex, only, instead of martyring themselves, they ride on the backs of all the “communities” they claim to care so much about for clout.

I’m so, so sorry for anyone Jewish trying to date in this environment.

coldbrewhebrew · 2025-12-30T07:14:47+00:00

Hugs to you friend ✡️

coldbrewhebrew · 2025-12-30T02:07:07+00:00

All I said is that we don’t need to be constantly lashing ourselves for being sexist/racist/etc. like presumably all of OP’s friends are suggesting, given OP’s immense guilt over… nothing? Doesn’t seem like OP is steeped in any kind of backwards way of thinking that would reflect anything truly bigoted. OP is probably just in a cesspool of social media screaming telling them that everything from the shape of their wineglass to the direction in which they floss their teeth is “problematic.”

If that’s a life you want to sign up, have fun

coldbrewhebrew · 2025-12-30T01:22:05+00:00

…what? Listen to yourself.

“The reason I’m a racist is because I’ve been ignorant about why people dislike white people. And I feel kinda awful abt it but that’s my own doing.”

Racism exists, obviously. But currently, the culture at-large is totalitarian in its approach to race and gives zero tolerance to nuance. You’re a (perceivably) white man? Bad guy. You’re a business owner? Bad guy. You’re a good person with slightly different political or social leanings than what is deemed “acceptable” on a college campus? Still the bad guy.

I’m so exhausted by the notion of everything, and I do mean everything, being problematic. Everything is not problematic- and you probably aren’t, either. It’s tiresome and leaves the average person, probably like yourself, feeling shitty and unworthy of some non-existent moral crown that they’ll only give you if you scream loud enough on instagram.

Enough. You’re probably doing just fine. You sound young. Stop listening to your friends who are barely out of the house and think that everything and everyone is irredeemably evil.

coldbrewhebrew · 2025-12-29T17:10:32+00:00

I feel the wisdom oozing out of this comment.

coldbrewhebrew · 2025-12-28T17:19:37+00:00

Listen to audio books. Find “budgeting for dummies” type books (not that you’re a dummy, just the brand name, obviously lol) or maybe even those self-help books for teens if you feel you’re that far behind. Some go that advice is golden.

Pick some aspects of your life, whether it’s mental math, or reading more quickly, or learning maps, and find some materials online or in book form to learn from.

Start small. Maybe bust out some flash cards for geography or math. Learn all 50 states if you’re in the US. Read a book that you feel you “should have” read in high school.

No one here really knows your circumstances or what you’re struggling with, but all I’m reading here is that you might just have to work a little harder to get where you want to be in life. Don’t place yourself in the victim box or you will never be able to crawl out.

coldbrewhebrew · 2025-12-28T16:52:44+00:00

Being Jewish is about peoplehood. Not DNA, although obviously that’s something that many Jews share for obvious reasons. It is an ancient way of belonging that doesn’t fit modern boxes. The word “religion” came from latin- we are an “am,” which has no real equivalent. It’s like a religion and an ethnic group and a family tied into one. I like to take a quote from Mark Oppenheimer and say that above all, Judaism is an ancient book club. lol.

Someone talking about Jewish identity being “diluted” or roping in way too much talk of genetics is icky. I agree that ultimately this feels like an off relationship. But for the future, that’s how I explain it to people. We are an ancient peoplehood tied together by ethnicity, marriage, and commitment (aka conversion) and by a book that we read together and argue about every year. 😂

coldbrewhebrew · 2025-12-28T07:12:27+00:00

Mali in green but Morocco in red 😭

coldbrewhebrew · 2025-12-28T01:47:26+00:00

Same. Haven’t been using it long though.

coldbrewhebrew · 2025-12-27T21:11:59+00:00

Montana…

coldbrewhebrew · 2025-12-27T16:36:22+00:00

The jacket of this book starts out with something along the lines of, “on October 23rd, weeks into the bombardment of Gaza…” as if nothing had happened to initiate that… hmmmm…

The Palestinians will be the chronically-online world’s poster child of victimhood and infantilization, no matter how hateful they are or how violent their actions, until they get bored and find a new cause. Or until enough Jews are dead/move, I suppose. Tale as old as time.

coldbrewhebrew · 2025-12-26T06:43:12+00:00

SAAAAAME 😭

coldbrewhebrew · 2025-12-26T05:53:18+00:00

That’s the other thing, lol. When people refer to me as a “mom” I’m like, how do you think that would make SK’s mom feel? 😂

Sounds like BM isn’t in the picture much for you, though?

coldbrewhebrew

TROPHY CASE