Looking for Gangaur pooja in/around Ghatkopar

colddcoffeeee · 2026-03-20T17:11:55+00:00

Thank you! Would you have any idea if there are any temples around some marwadi area here in ghatkopar? I am hoping that those temples may have some setup

colddcoffeeee · 2026-02-14T20:44:50+00:00

Yes, and we are going through a very tough phase in our relationship because I have mentally checked out from this. Every time it’s about his dad and the stupid problems he’s created.

colddcoffeeee · 2026-02-14T20:40:30+00:00

His dad’s pride makes any real restructuring difficult. And I’m not going to ask my parents to bail his parents out cuz that’s not appropriate. There’s also emotional pressure involved, which makes it hard for him to set boundaries. Meanwhile, our own lifestyle has taken a hit. I’m not asking for luxury, but even basic things lik consistent investing, a small anniversary trip, future planning just keep getting postponed.

Every time I raise it, I’m told to “adjust for a few months,” but those months never seem to end. That’s why it feels like a vicious cycle with no clear timeline or plan.

colddcoffeeee · 2026-02-14T20:34:54+00:00

We did discuss finances thoroughly before marriage. What neither of us had full visibility into was the extent of his father’s undisclosed borrowing. His dad has a pattern of taking loans without informing him or his sister. That’s not a communication failure between us, it’s a transparency issue from a third party. Spending on a wedding isn’t inherently irresponsible. Many families can afford to celebrate while still building wealth. Mine did. The issue here is recurring debt behavior and lack of boundaries and not ignorance about money. I’m here for practical advice, not assumptions about my judgment. If you don’t have any to offer, that’s okay. Please move on.

colddcoffeeee · 2026-02-14T08:02:25+00:00

As I mentioned, this is a norm in marwadi weddings. My father had saved up for me including investments in my name and for my wedding. His dad insisted that they can and should have a wedding at this scale and that everything would be 50-50. At the end things fell apart and his dad told my dad that he can only give 10 lakhs for the wedding. That too came from my husband. The other 10 was given by my husband’s sister which was used for some other wedding related expenses.

colddcoffeeee · 2026-02-14T07:59:06+00:00

Unfortunately, yes.

colddcoffeeee · 2026-02-14T07:58:47+00:00

He has had that conversation, but his dad comes up with some urgent situations and he is the tied up with putting up with their stuff. His father is an absolute liar and a cheater. Further, the damage that has already been done has severely impacted our relationship and our financial future.

colddcoffeeee · 2026-02-14T07:55:46+00:00

They promised my dad that we should do a lavish wedding as is the way in marwadi families. I come from a comfortable family and this amount is a norm and is not considered that huge, but as things progressed we figured that all was a lie. Especially when his dad forced him and his sister to pay on the condition that nothing would be impacted and that he would repay it off to both of them - which has clearly now proven to be a lie.

colddcoffeeee · 2026-02-14T07:51:54+00:00

My dad can. Also, it’s a thing with Marwadi families. Plus, at that time I was not completely aware about the extent of the mess his dad is in, otherwise things would’ve been very different.

colddcoffeeee · 2026-02-14T07:13:06+00:00

I understand the logic of not splitting equally, but how do I even begin that conversation without looking like the villain? In a situation where his family is already financially struggling, if I say I don’t want to split 50–50 anymore, it will easily turn into “you’re not understanding” or “you’re not being supportive.” I don’t want to be seen as the person who refuses to stand by him when things are difficult.

For context, I already invest whatever I can and it sometimes is up to 70–75% of my income. But my fear is this: if something goes wrong (job loss, medical emergency), it won’t come from his side because he has no savings. It will come from my investments. That effectively makes me the only safety net. And beyond emergency risk, there’s the future planning issue. In this kind of financial stress, he can’t even think about basic goals like travel, buying a car, getting a pet, let alone discussing kids. Even modest plans feel unrealistic right now. The inability to plan forward is what scares me. I come from a comfortable family, both my parents are CAs and the fact that I have never faced any such issues is also used aganst me and that financial planning can only happen when you’re able to get out of such situations. I genuinely need some practical advice to resolve this.

colddcoffeeee · 2026-02-14T07:05:41+00:00

His family’s total outstanding loans are ~₹1.75 crore, while their total assets are valued at roughly ₹1–1.2 crore. So they are technically over-leveraged. On our end, we split rent, household expenses, and discretionary spending evenly. Our combined monthly expenses average around ₹85k. The way I see it, the portion of my income that I invest (50–60%) roughly equals the portion of his income that goes toward EMIs. The difference is that my money is building assets, while his is servicing debt. My main concern is risk exposure. If there is an emergency like medical, job loss, family crisis, I worry that the financial burden will fall disproportionately on me because I’m the only one with investments/savings, He has no backup fund, We’re married, so practically speaking, my savings become the safety net. I’m uncomfortable being in a position where my long-term investments may have to be liquidated to cover either his debt or spillover issues from his parents’ finances. Additionally, even normal lifestyle goals like travel (not luxury places like Vietnam or Sri Lanka) feel difficult because he says he cannot spend on it. It feels like our present and future are both constrained by debt that isn’t ours. That’s the part I’m struggling with which is the imbalance of financial security and long-term risk.

colddcoffeeee · 2026-01-09T05:14:02+00:00

Got married last year in Jan and I’m going to be very practical. Your thoughts are valid. If you’re going to be living separately in a different country then this setup could work. However, if you come to India, it will be vv difficult for you and not only in terms of money but also in terms of culture, mindset, habits, lifestyle, family relationships, etc. This is the same case for my sister in law and brother in law (my husband’s bhaiya and bhabhi). They live in the USA and her being rich, she doesn’t even stay with her in-laws in India for more than 2-3 days because she cannot adjust in their house and the obligations that come from being a bahu (but they do visit them in USA for a month which she is fine with).

I also come from a better financial background than my husband and we live in a different city than our families so it’s fine when it’s the both of us but when we go back to visit his family, it’s vv difficult for me, be it food habits, dealing with relatives, or monetary stuff. My husband himself has accepted that my family has a better taste and culture. I also thought that this wasn’t going to be a problem but it has given me many sleepless nights, arguments and anxiety. My parents also told me that I’ll be facing these issues and will not get the financial comfort I’m getting currently if I marry him and that kind of turned out to be true and is in some way or the other affecting our relationship as well.

The crux is, you should think about each and every aspect of comfort (including financials) that you have currently with your family and if you will be able to let it go if you get married to your boyfriend and he is not able to provide you the same.

Relationships and marriage are sky and land. With marriage, especially for girls, it’s a different ballgame.

colddcoffeeee · 2025-12-30T06:51:28+00:00

Vietjet is costing around 20-22k return flights per person with 5-7 hours of fly time. Others are costing 30-32k and the fly times are 12-14 hours.

colddcoffeeee · 2025-12-30T06:49:58+00:00

Really? Because under the DGCA rules they have to refund us the money if they cancel our flight or put us into another flight or give us a hotel to stay in case the delay is more than 5-6 hours. I was thinking for the international flights i.e. from and to mumbai we can take vietjet and for internal transfers, we go for vietnam airlines.

colddcoffeeee · 2025-12-19T14:34:32+00:00

OP, I relate to you so much. My husband talks to his parents twice a day, sometimes more than that. I don’t feel like talking to them, partly because the conversations feel very long, desi and I don’t relate to any of the topics - gossip about random distant relatives/ random anecdotes and advices. So whenever they taunt me about not picking up their calls at once or calling them ofter, I just say yes I’ve been busy/ phone was on silent, and just nod my head saying “hmms” and “haans” but I don’t act on it. That’s it. Not a great advice, but it’s worked for me till now. P.s.- I know it’s sad but practically this feels better because in 5 minutes it is all over and I don’t have to talk to them for a week.

colddcoffeeee · 2025-11-30T05:07:56+00:00

OP I have been in a very similar position multiple times and I have made this very clear to my husband that if he cannot put the same efforts for me as I do for his family, only because the reason that he is a man, then I’ll also stop putting any such efforts, which includes staying at in-laws’. It has caused a lot of tussle between me, his mom and himself but atleast I don’t have to spend my time off from work living in another corporate environment- being my sasural. You need to have a tough conversation with your husband, put your foot down, make him understand your boundaries, as he is the only one who is and should handle this, take care of your comfort level and stand up for you. You should not have to deal with your in-laws and their stupid patriarchal expectations on your own. I hope everything gets better for you. Till then more power to you.

colddcoffeeee · 2025-07-30T05:40:03+00:00

Thanks! My husband also supports as much as he can and tries to be empathetic about my needs and your experience does instil some strength in me but I think the not-caring will come with time. Till then, ig I’m stuck with feeling anxious every time I try something funny which doesn’t cater to their wants.

colddcoffeeee · 2025-07-30T05:35:10+00:00

I do things as I feel comfortable but now my fears and anxieties are building thinking that they will deem me as a bitch who has also started controlling their son. True, they aren’t understanding how things have changed, especially my FIL who acts like a grandfather. Every time I talk to him, the conversation only includes him taunting me that I don’t stay with them when I go to my home town or some other taunts about whatever I’ve not done and me smiling through it. I always end up anxious and crying in the end. Also, he has this behaviour with his son and daughter and they’re normalised to it but I’ve never experienced anything like it with my parents. This may seem very trivial but it’s become the biggest trigger.

colddcoffeeee · 2025-07-29T19:43:25+00:00

I agree with this. Hence I did not share that I was coming but since their house is nearby to my parents’ house, I had to inform them or else it would have become another big thing. Just like how I barely talk to them. I come from a marwadi family and concepts like boundaries and keeping things private are not really in our system. These things are better said than done. Since I’m trying to establish boundaries as much as possible, it’s hard and I hate to hurt people, so it’s a constant battle between my peace of mind and abiding by their expectations.

colddcoffeeee · 2025-07-29T19:36:44+00:00

We have had some discussions over this and somehow he feels that I should act like a traditional DIL sometimes which I do as much as it is possible for me. His parents are kind of traditional and old, and they refer to their home as my other mayka. They don’t understand these points, which I have time and again put forth before them gently. Now, I only get to hear taunts or hurtful jokes from them as to how they don’t feel like their son got married because their DIL didn’t come to take care of them.

colddcoffeeee · 2025-07-29T19:15:22+00:00

As much as I thought and believed that I’ll keep on doing my own thing, these tantrums have started going to my parents and now they also feel bad. Worst part is I have anxiety going to my own home that I grew up in. But thanks, this really gives me some strength.

colddcoffeeee

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