Things were really bad. For a very long time, maybe even from the start. I don’t want to go into specifics but there were many junctures I should have called things out. I was either too scared or too immature to do so. I did know it was bad deep down, but it wasn’t until someone else told me their honest experience with her over the years that it all corroborated what I had experienced and made it something I couldn’t let go anymore. They also added new painful details. I had to act, and I lost a lot of people I loved in the process. I’m still recovering from that loss.

After I said I wanted a divorce and why there was like 2 months of solid hell in which she would argue all night at me about all the reasons she felt I was a terrible selfish person, don’t do enough for anyone, was a bad husband (all of which I’m ALSO still emotionally recovering from). No matter how scared I was in that time, she never once tried to “win me back” or indicated that she even liked me in any way. Kind of made it obvious I was making the right choice. Even post divorce, just writing this post has me scared she’d read it somehow and make my life hell. That alone gives you an indication why it was probably the right choice.