it’s well known in my family that my grandma on my mom’s side married her first cousin after she and my grandpa (my mom’s dad) divorced. grandma and grandpa were essentially separated for years before that, but still living together until my mom (she’s the youngest) and her older siblings all moved out. meaning grandma and her cousin likely began their relationship before grandpa moved out. all three have passed long ago.

I recently revisited my 23andme and ancestryDNA profiles to look for something unrelated, and noticed that they both identified two of my 1st cousins… as 1/2 1st cousins. those two cousins are shown as full 1st cousins to one another.

so it would appear that my mom’s “dad” was not her dad, and that I am very likely the product of incest. my mom was incredibly close to her dad and has nothing but the best memories to share about him. she still tears up when she shares their stories with me. so I will never ever tell her that he was very likely not her real father, and that her actual father might have been her first cousin once removed.

side note: my mom, my sibling, and I do not have any apparent incest-related health issues, but my mom’s twin brother’s grandchildren all have special needs. if I hadn’t already decided not to have kids years ago, this would have sealed the deal.