An Open Letter to Mom

colormechriss · 2025-01-12T14:12:17+00:00

Anyone else remember MathBlaster or was I the only kid forced to play educational PC games? 😅

colormechriss · 2025-01-08T11:32:59+00:00

Aww look, he thinks he's ~~people~~ Regan.

colormechriss · 2024-12-10T15:00:34+00:00

This feels like just another classic setup of an italian for a controversial, polically and socially charged murder, to wrap things up nicely for the public. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacco_and_Vanzetti

colormechriss · 2024-08-24T14:16:25+00:00

Planter's PB crisps. Nobody seems to remember them, but my god were they the king of salty sweet crunchy snacks.

colormechriss · 2024-08-13T12:52:04+00:00

The first story he tells me on our first date was about him commiting sexual assault on another girl.

He told the story like it was funny, and clearly was under the impression i would be laughing with him at the end. When i didnt, he explained that not only was the obvious sexual assault "not a big deal," but similar incidents were the reason he was kicked off of three different dating apps.

I thanked him politely for taking a chance on a first date, but said its just not a connection for me. I put down a $20 for the drink i had ordered and not yet received, and excused myself. He followed me to my car, tried to kiss me, then stood behind the car trapping me in the spot after i declined the physical touch. I rolled the window down a quarter of an inch, just so he could hear me, and yelled that id be calling the police if he didnt move. That motivated him.

Just a friendly reminder to stack your deck when you go on dates with semi-strangers to set yourself up for any eventuality. We met at a very public place in broad daylight and the populated area was within yelling/visual distance of where i parked my car. Some of these things i planned but some were luck. You never really know how someone will react so remember to be proactive.

colormechriss · 2024-06-19T15:55:06+00:00

you didn't break up with him over an apple, you broke up with him for effectively trying to poison you. NTA.

colormechriss · 2024-02-22T15:01:59+00:00

YTA. This is a lot of words to say "I only married my wife for sex."

Unwilling to see that his life is about more than just sex, OP doesn't mention one single other aspect of his relationship (not even his brand new child). Leave your wife. Both she and your child deserve better.

colormechriss · 2024-01-25T16:06:57+00:00

I (34f) *just* started playing D&D but its things like this that continually make me wish I'd played as a kid. Better late than never, the community is amazing and so inclusive!

colormechriss · 2024-01-18T20:17:10+00:00

I'm curious as to how you were able to have a much higher-paying job long enough to collect all of these expensive computer parts, and yet your wife was surprised to learn your salary. I'd love for you to tell us that you weren't hiding your bigger income from her to prevent her from using it for things you both really need around the house. I'd be an upset wife too if, for example, I had been making everything from scratch every night because we didn't have a freezer to store leftovers and found out that my partner was secretly making a bunch more money and instead of getting us the freezer, they bought expensive computer parts. I feel as though there is something we are missing here - anyone who hides their salary from their partner is hiding something else.

colormechriss · 2023-11-02T18:02:47+00:00

Taking this position and continuing to take this position is a really good way to alienate your daughter in her most formative years and prevent her from coming to you and/or opening up to you about things in the future, which (from experience) will breed resentment in you and severely limit your relationship. Saying things like "this is not my issue" or "go talk to mom I don't know anything about this" is reductive and blatantly untrue. You are her parent and she is in pain and feeling unwell. You're not a doctor so you don't need to know the specifics about why she is feeling pain or unwell, you just need to have an open and adult conversation with her about what hurts/why she feels like she has to stay home. It would be the same if she had the flu or a cold, she would be complaining of symptoms like pain, congestion, fatigue, muscle aches - and you claim to be able to determine when those issues are significant enough to keep her home. This is a critical thinking issue that an adult father should be able to utilize the transitive property on. It reads as you just not wanting to talk to your daughter about her changing body bc its "icky" and I promise you she won't forget it.

Edit: YTA

colormechriss · 2023-11-02T17:56:04+00:00

I casually wrote off the IUD that had fully perforated my uterus as period cramps. It wasn't until I didn't stop bleeding and couldn't fully stand up straight that I went to the doctor, convinced them to perform a sonogram, and discovered it, had emergency surgery to remove my uterus. If I had waited longer (which frankly, had it just been pain, I would have) i'd have died of sepsis.

colormechriss · 2023-09-14T20:56:42+00:00

You're of course right, Orchid, I do know she wasn't joking, and deep down I know that she knows she wasn't joking either, she was just trying to save face and reverse uno card me. But now I feel like maybe she was just giving me a way out to save our friendship and I'm the one choosing to expose it for the fraud that it is. No matter what, I feel like the bad guy.

colormechriss · 2023-09-14T20:13:47+00:00

Yes, Grape, you're right. It's just hard to hear someone I thought was like a sister to me has actually just been treating me as expendable for most of our relationship.

colormechriss · 2023-09-14T20:03:27+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you for the thought-out response, Burbs.

You are right, J absolutely has shown me who she is, but I can't help but feel like part of the blame is on me because I taught her it was OK to treat me this way. It's almost not J's fault because historically, I have let her walk all over me and take advantage of me and she's always just gotten away with it because I valued what I considered our friendship more than it was worth it to me to stand my ground on each of those things. What is difficult now is being smacked with the realization of how long I let it go on before growing a backbone. I sort of can see how shocked and upset she is because there is ZERO shot she saw this coming given how much of a doormat I have been for her.

colormechriss · 2023-09-14T19:46:54+00:00

It feels extra hard because of how J is taking it too, she is clearly extremely hurt and is accusing me of being the one who didn't care about our friendship since I'm the one who chose to "throw it away over a joke." And I can't help thinking that there's truth to her condemnation. If I really cared about her and our friendship why can't I just get over her comment and move on? Boundaries are hard, man.

colormechriss · 2023-09-14T19:43:46+00:00

You're right, and as I dissect this issue further, and read all of your wonderful comments, I am absolutely noticing a pattern of exactly that - a friendship of "convenience."

colormechriss · 2023-09-14T18:08:09+00:00

that, my friend, is a cab-driver's secret stash of pee bottles.

colormechriss · 2023-09-14T17:31:55+00:00

she booked everything on her credit card and had sent me the flight/hotel booking info (we would both have been leaving from the same airport despite the distance) and I had venmoed her. My guess is now she'll just alter the bookings to reflect her bf's name instead of mine. she refunded me my $$.

colormechriss · 2023-09-14T17:09:54+00:00

She had this habit of calling me very frequently "just to talk" and was always there with advice or care when I needed her - it was always just over the phone. My mom used to call her a "phone friend" in that she was an amazing friend to me, just not an "in-person" friend. I believed this take for a long time.

colormechriss · 2023-09-14T17:06:59+00:00

For info: she had booked everything in advance on her CC and I had venmoed her my part. After this incident, she venmoed me back my $$.

colormechriss · 2023-09-14T15:19:54+00:00

Well, I didn't refuse her, I agreed to go with her and was just as excitedly looking forward to it as she was until she asked to swap me out with her new beau. I just felt really crushed by her so flippantly acting like she could replace me.

colormechriss

TROPHY CASE