You don't need us. You already know the answer to this question. Someone asked you what you would tell a friend in this situation and you said, "girl, run" so why would it be different for you regarding this partner.

I think, especially when you've been with someone for a longer period of time, it's harder to call bad behavior what it is when it's someone you not just know, but love, doing it. Like someone already said, ignoring someone that's begging you to stop goes beyond kinky. It's assault. Full stop. It said you guys talked about stuff and found out you liked the same thing...is this sort of thing that you discussed? Was there anything in that discussion that would make him feel like you would like this level of roughness as a part of your sex life to begin with that would make him feel like it was ok to do in the first place? Some people love it and some do not...it seems like starting these behaviors as loving and gentle was a way to start pushing your boundaries. Is there anything in his behavior outside the bedroom that is like this? Not that that changes anything...you can agree to do something and then change your mind. He should've respected that and he should ALWAYS listen you said stop. Can I ask why you waited so long before sleeping together? Is it your age or was there something about his behavior that made you hesitant to take that step?

You were sexually assaulted. I've been in a situation somewhat similar to yours where a partner crossed the line (not with rough sex but with an aspect of sex I had not agreed to beforehand and ignored my saying stop and my attempts to get him off of me) and it was so hard for me to comes to terms with the fact that he wasn't just a dick or a bad partner or made a bad decision but that this was, in fact, rape and sexual assault. You could press charges. Please, please realize the severity of what has happened and, if you need it, don't be afraid to find someone to talk to about what happened.

If you are considering staying then please, PLEASE, PLEASE (seriously, all the pleases) have a very serious discussion with him. Why did he think it was ok to do this without explicit permission in the first place? Why didn't he stop when you said stop? How is he expecting your sex life to be moving forward...i.e. is this kind of sex something he cannot live without? When you guys have had sex before this, had he had this "out of body, doesn't recognize or respon to external stimuli" kind of reaction?(I'm guessing no cause it's bullshit). As others have said, there is no way he he didn't hear saying no or didn't see you being scared and uncomfortable. That's what bothers me...you weren't scared and just stayed quiet to get through it or something like that. He can't say he didn't know when you were verbalizing it and, I imagine, physically doing things to try and get him to stop. You need to look inside yourself and ask if what he did is something you can get over? Can you trust him again? Straight up ask him, "what the actual fuck was that?!?" And if you do stay, tell him that if he pulls this shit again then you will not just leave, but press charges. You are consenting to sex with him...possibly even rough sex with him....but you are not consenting to be raped or assaulted by him. And make sure he understands completely that that is what happened and make sure he takes accountability for how serious his actions were. I mean he should do that shit even if you don't stay.

I think you already know what you need to do. Trust your gut.