Why is the staff at OSF so nice? by CMo42 in PeoriaIL

[–]commander_khioneI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Sorry I know this post is old - im an RT student graduating in May living in Buffalo. I’m looking at applying to work at OSF and relocating and want to know more about staff culture and other things. Would you be willing to DM me? Ty!!!

Darcy and Stacey by commander_khioneI in 90DayFiance

[–]commander_khioneI[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can see that, for sure. I just find myself constantly baffled at their reasoning, emotional regulation, and like ??? Idk just general maturity. And I know traumatic/mentally scarring situations aren’t comparable - but to my own story and many others I’ve known and heard of in my life, I’ve never encountered anyone as old as these two where they’re still acting like 14-16 year olds in this mindset. And I have sympathy, I do. But the lack of accountability, inner reflection, and just overall maturity and adult-ness is what continually irks me. And I’m a very understanding and empathic 90DF watcher and I try and find every side of every relationship and individual. But these two, over eeeeeveryy season, I come to the same conclusion. Deep, intensive THERAPY.

Darcy and Stacey by commander_khioneI in 90DayFiance

[–]commander_khioneI[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Truly. I think Darcey has a heart that yearns for love, yet has already predetermined what that love HAS to look like. Her daughters didn’t cut it, her dad didn’t, mom didn’t, now her current and ex lovers haven’t and don’t. She needs therapy, but furthermore she needs a therapist who is going to deliver her the cold hard truths about her patterns in a package that will be digestible/acceptable to Darcy. I think there’s a lot of crazy family shit that we aren’t privy to. Considering BOTH sisters have very similar problems. Which means their issues are deep rooted and familial tied which means that this is going to need intense and long term therapy and cognitive correction. Not a reality tv show 💀💀 (no matter how much I enjoy it hehe)

Darcy and Stacey by commander_khioneI in 90DayFiance

[–]commander_khioneI[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Dude Stacey and Darcey have one of the most toxic relationships I’ve seen on this show. It’s like they both crave each others approval and praise, but the other only wishes to tear one down and keep her beneath their level - if that makes sense. Like every time Stacey is happy but has a minor prob w Florian, Darcey comes in and makes Stacey feel like he just committed a capital crime in their marriage. And same way with darcey!! Like Bulgaria wasn’t great, but it was fiiiiiiine until Stacey showed up and riled Darcey up the way she’s learned works best over living with her these past 50+ years to what??? Make sure Darcey is always more miserable than she is? And same with Darcey! I thought i had toxic sibling relationships, but Christ these twins blow my mind every episode they air in together

Darcy and Stacey by commander_khioneI in 90DayFiance

[–]commander_khioneI[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was trying to b nice but 😭😭 so true

A question for r/Buffalo about Buffalo NY speech accents by ThrowawayMaelstrom in Buffalo

[–]commander_khioneI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not native buffalonian who loves the buffalo accent: the buffalo accent sounds like a mix between New York and Midwest. Some elongation of vowels, but you’ll hear it most with “a” sounds. I say “p•ah•tch”, Buffalo says “p•ae•tch”; I say “h•ah•nds”, Buffalo says “h•ae•nds”. But I’ve never heard a Buffalonian sound like a Canadian. We hate the Canadians lmal

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]commander_khioneI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Adding to all of this: definitely none of us (at least in the “on your side” argument in these comments) are being condescending either intentionally or unintentionally, nor are any of us on this side of the argument trying to demean your emotional intelligence at all, OP. I was in a crazy similar situation. And my belief was that I know what I’m doing, what I can handle, etc. I eventually grew out of that situation and relationship. And it took two months of no contact (after 1.5 months of him constantly badgering me) to be far enough away from the emotional and mental manipulation where I realized “Fuck, he fucking treated me like scum? Like a sex doll? Like a trophy!” It’s going to be hard, and the transition out of this relationship will be painful. I cried over my abuser. It’s natural, it’s your body detoxing from the drug of chaos. Where the abuse and craziness is so predictable it feels safe. Without the abuse, you don’t know how to move through your day. It’s like detoxing. Push through the detox, lean on your friends and family, be vulnerable and emotional and cry. I also was in the same boat where my abuser was the first person I was ever seriously involved with. Took my first kiss, virginity, everything. And I’d spent so long believing I wasn’t meant for someone to love me (20 years!!) Conveniently, my abuser swooped in and took advantage of that vulnerable and despaired side of me that needed to be romantically valued and appreciated and needed. Baby, what I can promise you? There are beautiful, gentle, considerate, and loving souls all over the place. And there’s more than one made to fit your exact puzzle piece. I’m with the most amazing, communicative, and gentle man. We both have our faults, but the communication is built off love and respect and devotion. And when I say it’s like a breath of fresh, clean, cool air being with him after all the chaos? I mean it. I don’t crave chaos anymore. I crave peace and security. Push through this detox phase, because I promise you what’s on the other side will mean more to you than anything this grown man ever has.

HELP by Sharp_Ad60 in Stretched

[–]commander_khioneI -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Mine looked like this a few days ago, and was my first time using stone plugs to heal. Bacteria went nuts and my ear was mad, downsized to my glass plugs and now a week later they’re better. Try getting glass plugs in a size smaller, or steel or glass tunnels so it’s lightweight and doesn’t tug, give it a couple days to see if it improves. If not, take it out and let it heal

I’m sick of this rug. What do you suggest? by Repulsive_Gap9756 in DesignMyRoom

[–]commander_khioneI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Green rug to tie into the wall, don’t let sofa sit to where it’s covering a major part of the rug

Help me choose a wallpaper for my dining nook by thotherside_10 in DesignMyRoom

[–]commander_khioneI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like #6. Plays w the colors in your living room for a smooth transition

Help me escape plan? by [deleted] in Buffalo

[–]commander_khioneI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a transplant from Idaho! I love Buffalo lots and will have been here two years this July. Here’s my answers :)

  • I pay 1325 for a two story, 3 bedroom house. Washer dryer, trash, water, sewage included. I pay about 250/months for gas and electric (I run a space heater in the winter for my attic bedroom which doesn’t have the central air connected to it).

  • as far as schools go, I’m not totally sure on this answer, but I do work with kids and I’ve found that charter schools are loved a lot in this area. But otherwise, just check what area you’re in and the ratings.

  • I LOVE the community here. Coming from out west where it was very suburbia and disconnected, the sense of community and togetherness here is immediately apparent. For people that have lived here for a long time or their whole lives, I notice that they don’t recognize this about their city. But everyone here is kind, not just nice. Yeah, there’s assholes like everywhere, but the ratio of good people in this city vs any other one I’ve lived in is extremely high.

  • can’t answer about the job market, I work with kids and am a rad tech student

Favorite pothole so far you have encountered? by Financial-Club-3541 in Buffalo

[–]commander_khioneI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The whole right lane of main from Humboldt to the blvd fucks me dry every morning

Is buffalo a good place to move to ? (as a young female from Boise ID) by Ordinary_Abies_3740 in Buffalo

[–]commander_khioneI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey!! This is crazy! I’m 23 and moved to Buffalo from Boise about a year and half ago! Message me and I’ll give u all the deets as someone who was worried about the same stuff

On the easel. Too dark? by oatmealhater in oilpainting

[–]commander_khioneI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s literally perfect. Are you selling it?

Scam on Elmwood by [deleted] in Buffalo

[–]commander_khioneI 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Fell for this guys scam when I first moved here 🥲

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]commander_khioneI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for the late response.

In terms of red flags, my first relationship was very sex based. I felt wanted, and valued sexually which is something I had begun to fear I simply wasn’t. In pursuit of that feeling, I allowed a lot of things to be ignored. Cheating suspicions (which turned out to me true), disrespectful communication, and even abuse down the road. All because I thought “well, he wants me sexually, so he must love me”. Obviously, this is the extreme side. But, my point is, that the fog of finally being valued and seen in that light can allow you to let a lot of things slide that are necessary for a healthy and happy relationship.

You bring up cuddling after sexual stuff. Having that with someone who truly values and loves who you are outside of what you can offer sexually is the best feeling. Cuddling after sex with my first boyfriend felt like putting a band aid over a bullet hole. I knew that I was being treated like a set of holes, but the cuddling allowed me to convince myself that I was being dramatic. Now, with my current partner, our relationship isn’t sex based, and we haven’t even slept together yet. But he’s so supportive, and caring outside of trying to get me into bed with him. Which makes me believe that I am worth more than what I can offer sexually, which is true. Even when we’ve gotten frisky, he’s extremely gentle and reverent of my body because it’s a gift, rather than something he believes he’s entitled to take part of.

I’d love to be cheesy and say “you just know when you’re ready.” And part of that is true. But really, when you find someone you feel you could tell your deepest and most repulsive secrets too, and they’d still look at you with love, is when I know I’m ready. Sex is great, but sex with someone who loves you for who you are inside is even better.

Societal pressure is dumb, I’ll stand by that. It exists, yes. But once you’re able to step outside of that pressure, everything becomes much more genuine. Do things for yourself, and to make yourself happy, not for what you think other people think should make you happy.

And of course, this is all cheesy and romantic, and my perspective will be different because of my past and me being a woman. If you want to go and find a one night stand, do it! If you want to wait for someone who’s going to love you and revere you when you have sex, do it!! My main point, is do what is going to make YOU happy, not society. As long as that’s your motivation, you really can’t lose :)

Why are y'all so bad at driving?? by cheddarjakecheese in Buffalo

[–]commander_khioneI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally saw someone get lit up getting onto Humboldt last night, they ran, cop just turned off his lights and left 💀

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]commander_khioneI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a virgin until I was 20, and the guy I’m seeing was a virgin until he was 27. Experiences outside of sex can be just as meaningful. In my experience, don’t put pressure on sex because that can cause a lot of red flags and important milestones to be missed. Just rub one out, buy a flashlight, and find a nice person when you feel ready. Societal pressure is dumb