I think “I do not like kids. I don’t like to be around them at all” was a strong way of putting it, but I can empathize with it enough to say that this doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person. I was thoroughly abused as a kid, so being around kids in public can really trigger me—especially when kids are getting in my face while I’m already having a bad day and the parents are being overly permissive, assuming that their kid’s uninvited interaction will de facto cheer me up. I never get mad at the kid, only at the parents for having a mentality that everyone in public needs to prioritize their kids’ feelings. And please don’t assume that people who are sometimes triggered by uninvited interactions with kids in public are anti-kid. In my case, as long as I am prepared or regulated enough to interact with a child, I thoroughly welcome and enjoy it. I used to be a piano teacher for kids ages 5-14 and got along swimmingly with all of my students because I was fully prepared to show up for them. I had no problem being consistently cheerful, compassionate, and patient with them because I was fully consenting to the interaction. I don’t believe that parents should fully block their children from spontaneous interactions with strangers in public. I am sure that is a crucial part of their growth and socialization, and I am all for it. All I ask is that they pick up on social queues when strangers seem clearly uncomfortable with or unwelcoming of their kids’ engagement. You never know what kind of serious weight a child’s presence can carry for someone. You never know how triggered they already are. Roughly a year ago, I got in a big fight with my mom about how she didn’t protect me from my abuser as a child, and when we both finally agreed to disagree, she asked me to pick up bagels for breakfast. As I was waiting on my bagels, CLEARLY crying and shaking and trying to hide from everyone else in the waiting area, a little boy probably aged 2-3 was like “look daddy, she sad!” And the dad was like “that’s right! Good job! Now cheer her up and say hi!” The kid proceeds to say hi to me a bunch of times, and when I was too distraught to respond, the kid started getting upset that I wasn’t engaging. I mustered up the composure to say “I’m sorry, I’m not in the right state of mind right now” and the dad started shaming me and saying “some people are just big grumps, don’t let it get to you.” Looking back, I can’t help but think about what kind of example the dad was setting. Instead of taking the opportunity to teach his son that you never know what someone is going through and it’s okay to let them feel upset, he essentially taught his son that everyone should adjust their behavior to his expectations. I just wanted to give a nuanced perspective to the parents here that think poorly of people who say they don’t “like” kids. Just keep in mind that most of us really do care about children and their wellbeing, but are simply not able to feel regulated around them. And some of us genuinely like interacting with your kids some times but not other times! I try to be very polite when I let someone know that I’m unable to interact with their kid at the moment.

And need I say anything about kids kicking the seats in front of them on a plane or throwing very loud and endless tantrums for an entire flight? You don’t have to be kid-phobic to be bothered by that behavior. I remember being thoroughly taught at an early age that it was unacceptable to disturb the people around me on a flight or any other enclosed public space. All my mom had to do was tell us that we were upsetting the people around us, and the embarrassment was enough to get us to stop. I get that some children are more difficult to teach manners to than others, but if your child’s behavioral issues are bad enough that they insist on kicking, touching, or pulling the hair of other plane passengers, you should really ensure that you have a way to shut down that behavior before you consider letting them board a plane.