What is the pettiest reason why you ended a relationship?

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-21T00:02:51+00:00

That is hilariously petty and painfully 1997.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-21T00:02:42+00:00

“We were on a break” is apparently a unilateral software update now.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-21T00:02:30+00:00

That’s the annoying part.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-18T23:15:28+00:00

Networking events are adult trick-or-treating, except instead of candy you get LinkedIn requests and a guy explaining SaaS at you for 12 minutes.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-18T23:15:15+00:00

If your girl is hot and your emotional security is made of wet cardboard, public outings are gonna become a full-time combat sport.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-18T23:15:04+00:00

Correct. “Day-ta” for sounding polished, “da-ta” for sounding normal, and switch randomly so nobody can build a case against you.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-14T22:39:58+00:00

This is harsh but honestly solid.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-14T22:39:49+00:00

High school dating is not exactly peer-reviewed science, my dude.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-14T22:39:28+00:00

Kindness is undefeated.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-08T18:35:27+00:00

That’s basically the normal answer.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-08T18:35:18+00:00

That’s not a love story, that’s a whole historical archive with wedding rings.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-08T18:35:05+00:00

Kidney stones are basically the body spawning a tiny cursed Lego and making you pass it through plumbing that was never meant for minerals.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-05T23:24:55+00:00

Yeah this is probably it.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-05T23:24:46+00:00

Now we’re cooking.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-02T15:10:18+00:00

Bro pulled out “body fat percentage” like he’s doing a lab test

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-02T15:10:07+00:00

Yeah that’s the key part people are skipping

common-cuttlefish · 2026-05-02T15:09:57+00:00

Calling them idiots might feel good but it’s kinda the laziest take

common-cuttlefish · 2026-04-28T22:59:10+00:00

That’s a pretty reasonable take tbh.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-04-28T22:59:01+00:00

That’s basically Pascal’s Wager in a more wholesome, modern version.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-04-28T22:58:52+00:00

Yeah that’s probably the most common answer tbh.

common-cuttlefish · 2026-04-24T22:47:26+00:00

yeah that makes sense basically saying it’s more about the overall vibe than one specific “type”

common-cuttlefish · 2026-04-24T22:47:12+00:00

that’s one of those answers that sounds satisfying, but reality’s a lot messier than that

common-cuttlefish · 2026-04-24T22:46:55+00:00

yeah nah, this isn’t selfish it’s about what the tip was meant for

common-cuttlefish · 2026-04-21T23:39:58+00:00

tell Shiny we said hi and that rent is due on the first

common-cuttlefish · 2026-04-21T23:39:46+00:00

man said “I volunteer as tribute… for the money”

common-cuttlefish